Heya playa, have you ever texted a girl back and forth thinking everything was
going well when suddenly she hit you with one of these messages?
Ouch.
How do you respond?
I mean what do you say?
Where does the conversation go from here?
You might feel like the conversation is instantly over like she doesn't want
to talk to you and there's a way to figure that out and a way to bring it back to life.
I'm gonna explain how.
If you ever feel like texting someone you like is an uphill battle just to get these one-word
answers and responses from them ask yourself do my conversations have these three elements?
Number one, does the message you're sending her have substance?
Is it something worth opening and reading and actually responding to?
You might be thinking to yourself of course it does, I asked her how her day was or I asked
her what she's up to but those aren't messages of substance.
What you're really doing is flipping the conversation back onto the other person
and making them have to share something interesting with you just to keep it going.
If I message you asking you how is your day and you give me a boring answer and say you
didn't do anything the conversation is over so I'm putting the burden on you to actually say
something of substance and meaning when I should be the one bringing the substance to the table.
Number two, are you texting her something that provides direction for the conversation,
or are you just sharing a statement of fact?
Something she can just double tap, like, and then that be the end of it.
Providing direction means being incredibly thoughtful about the questions that you ask her,
what you make comments on, and the things that you share.
You want to make sure that whether you're starting a conversation or
carrying it you leave things open-ended in your responses.
It gives her the chance to really process what you're saying and to
make a comment or to share an opinion about the thing that you asked her.
And number three, does what you're texting her have any real story to it?
Does it hold any personal weight for you, is it something that actually matters to you, or
are you just pulling a question out of a hat and throwing it in the message?
I've talked about using pre-made ice breaker conversation starters when you
don't know what to talk about, I think that they're wonderful.
In fact, I'll link up my free guide over here that you can download and try them out yourselves but
you need to be able to take those questions and personalize them in some way so
it doesn't feel like you're just asking them 20 questions randomly.
You're actually asking them something that you genuinely want an answer for.
Tying a question to a reason is gonna increase the
likelihood that you'll actually get a response back from them because they
know you're not just throwing anything random out just to get their attention.
You're asking for something deep and personal and
meaningful and that's going to make all the difference.
Substance, direction, and story.
Those are the three key pieces to ensure that they're going to remain
interested in a conversation with you.
So how do you tie them all together?
What does that actually look like?
Well, first off you're not just randomly messaging them because you can.
You actually want to make sure what you're saying has meaning so you're going to think
about what you're going to text them first, you're going to have that question prepared,
and you're going to have some type of reason and story to really aid that question when you ask it.
My favorite way to set it up is to ask the question and then immediately follow up with
something like "I was having this conversation with one of my friends, this is what he said,
this is what I think but I'm really curious to get your opinion on it."
When you put it like that it doesn't sound random or out of place, it sounds like
you genuinely want to know what they think which is a good way to keep their interest.
The conversations that people tend to enjoy the most are the
ones where you genuinely care about what they have to say.
If you could present that in your text message it's going to carry so much
more weight than just a simple random question.
But, it's more than just that initial question.
If they give you an honest answer, really dive deep into it.
Ask them follow questions, go deeper into their answer,
maybe there's related questions or related topics that tie to what they had to say.
Sometimes people just lose interest in conversations because we are bad at following up.
If you find yourself giving one-word answers or just totally ending conversation topics
as soon as they give their answer and moving on to something else you're missing opportunities.
You're leaving a lot on the table to keep their interest.
So if you find yourself getting curved by one-word answers like "lol" or "cool", take a step back.
Start a brand new conversation on another day, that's going to give you a better opportunity
to catch their interest because if you're getting those answers right now that conversation is dead.
You're not really going to be able to take it much farther.
I'm curious though, what's your situation?
Is there someone that you like that you're trying to start a conversation with but
you're only getting one-word answers from them or no answers at all?
Leave your comments down below and let's talk about it.
Now what I want you to do is to check out the video over there on the screen
where I'm going to talk more about how to deal with one-word answers.
It's a pain, it's a nuisance, but there is a way to manage those situations
and that video is going to help teach you how.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.