“A certified overthinker” is what I’ve called myself
for years—and although everyone overthinks situations once in a while. For most of my life,
I’ve been plagued with a constant barrage of thoughts all the time.
From second-guessing my decisions to getting dressed, even sending a simple
text, and don’t even get me started about content creating and making YouTube videos.
You see overthinking and I are quite acquainted,
and I know a thing or two about what’s it’s like to feel like every decision you’re about to make
is final and therefore you can’t change your mind, reverse it or make a better decision later.
Now there’s nothing inherently wrong with thinking itself, or
deep-thinking. It’s an essential part of problem-solving.
But rather than accepting clouded judgment,
inconsistent sleep, and a life that always feels emotionally and mentally drained—as normal.
I found a few ways to change this destructive thought pattern and overthink less.
Believe it or not, there is a single emotion that triggers the majority of the thoughts
we have that causes us to overthink, even if overthinking isn’t a regular occurrence for you.
That’s emotion is fear. So the first talking point on my list and the encouragement I have for you
is to change your view of fear.
Now maybe you're afraid because you've failed before, or you're fearful of trying because
you don't want to fail or feel rejected or embarrassed if things don't work out.
Now I do I have a solution for this that we’ll talk more about later. But for right now,
I want you to remember that every opportunity is a new beginning with a clean canvas.
And in that moment it boils down to a choice you have to make. You can either allow fear
to find a home in your body and eat away at you, or you can face everything and rise.
Number two is to observe without judging. Finding success with overthinking
less in my opinion starts with acknowledgment—first and foremost.
So it’s noticing when you’re stuck in your head,
and overthinking situations that don’t need to be overthought.
Now, this acknowledgment or observation is 100% necessary—again in my opinion. I am a
firm believer that awareness is the beginning of change. And anytime we find ourselves doubting
our actions, feeling stressed, feeling stuck, or feeling emotionally and mentally drained.
Then that’s the perfect time to take a step back and look at our current situation
or surroundings number one and number two decide how we’re going to respond.
However, the key is not judging yourself because you’re overthinking.
But how do we not judge ourselves? Great question!
It first starts with determining what’s influencing our self-judgment.
Now, this is usually one of two things. 1) our lack of self-belief
or 2) our concern about other people’s opinions of us.
The latter I’ve discussed extensively in a past YouTube video about How To Mindfully
Care Less Of What People Think which I’ll link to in the description below.
Now beyond this, we also have to stop overgeneralizing. Experiencing failure
in one situation or making a mistake, does not mean we are a failure or a mistake.
And when it comes to overthinking—not always but sometimes—it’s easy to also
associate that with thinking that there’s something wrong with us.
“I’m always overthinking, so there must be something wrong with me. Right?”
Well, I’m here to tell you, friend, as a certified overthinker myself,
that there is nothing wrong with you. You are fine. Overthinking, on the other hand,
is just something we’ve developed a habit of doing that is rooted in uncertainty.
Which leads me right into the third point I have for you
and that is to recognize that not every decision you make is final.
In life, most decisions we make are not permanent and can be corrected,
and I say most because there are some decisions out there that produce outcomes that are more
permanent than others and I think you know what I mean so we don’t have to go there.
Other than those outliers, 99% of the decisions we make in life can be
reversed and corrected with a better and more informed decision later.
So any uncertainty or fear you feel should be put to rest knowing this.
However, as overthinkers, it’s hard for us to connect those dots at times. As I said earlier
I know what it’s like to feel like every decision you’re about to make is final and therefore that
causes you to overthink more because you don’t want to make a mistake, or the wrong decision.
So a more productive way to navigate your decision-making is to use these five rules
as guidance and a way to help you make more confident decisions in the first place.
Rule number one is to test them against your values.
So is this decision in alignment with my core values
and does it honor what’s most important to me?
Now, if you’re unsure about your core values, or if you need a refresh
you can download my core values worksheet on my website at ronaldlbanks.com/values.
Rule number two is to trust your gut.
Are you at peace emotionally with this decision or do you feel a bit funny and uneasy?
If something isn’t sitting right with you, then that’s a feeling you need to pay attention to
because it might be telling you that, hey, this is not smart,
this is not the best decision for me, and I should not be doing this.
Rule number three is to have enough information.
You don’t need to know everything, and the stars don’t have to be aligned before you
can make a decision. All you need is enough information to make an
informed decision that will move your life or the project you’re working on forward.
This is a common mistake that’s made all of the time and a trap that I’ve gotten stuck in for
years. It tends to stem from our caution around making a mistake or making the wrong decision,
so instead of taking action with the information we have—which
in the majority of situations is more than enough—we instead create new problems that
require more information to solve, because we are afraid to make a decision all together.
Now the overthinker in me still occasionally needs a reminder about this
so don’t feel bad if find yourself slipping in and out of this trap.
Rule number four is to respect your doubts.
If you are truly unsure about something then do more research and ask a few more questions.
Respect the doubts you have now so that you can make a more informed decision later.
But at the same time don’t allow your doubts to become excuses for why you’re not doing something.
So you also have to doubt the doubts that are encouraging you to overthink.
And rule number five brings all of this full circle and that is
to recognize that not every decision you make is final.
All right let’s keep this conversation moving.
Overthinking often involves two destructive thought patterns—ruminating—so dwelling on
the past—and incessant worrying—negative thoughts and predictions about the future.
Now if we’re not careful, overthinking can become such a habit of ours
that we don’t even recognize when we’re doing it. And that’s a risky space to
be in because it leads to a decrease in productivity and a lack of self-awareness
which impacts your entire life and not just your ability to make decisions.
Here are the facts:
A cluttered mind distances us from clarity.
And a cluttered mind is the breeding ground for overthinking, overwhelm, and unnecessary stress.
So, in my opinion, it is vital that we don’t overlook the capacity of
our mental space and if we feel unclear,
and mentally drained then we have to take that seriously and consider decluttering our mind.
For me, the best method of doing this that I’ve found a ton of success with is
writing. And to help you find similar success, I created a mental clutter
free-write exercise that you can download on my website at ronaldlbanks.com/mentalclutter.
Now overcoming overthinking is only one element of mastering your mindset. There are actually
a few more things you have to combine with it and that is overcoming fear-driven thinking,
scarcity thinking, and a fixed mindset. And in this video,
I show you exactly how to do that, without overcomplicating the process.
So don’t skip it if you’re serious about changing the way you think beyond overthinking.
Keep growing, keep learning, and always stay true to you. I’ll see you over there. Peace!