For some reason, I get this question way too often.
It’s starting to lead me to think that some of my subscribers might be pedo-mustache wielding
creeps with big white vans parked in your driveway and tons of “free candy.”
So in the interest of preventing you guys from ending up on the next season of Dateline
NBC’s To Catch A Predator, today, I’m gonna be teaching you how to NOT be creepy
around girls.
First and foremost, let’s understand what creepy is.
Being creepy just means you’re acting in a way that’s socially uncalibrated aka socially
awkward or unacceptable.
This is why it’s important to develop the social intelligence to have an understanding
of what social situation you’re in and what’s acceptable and calibrated and what isn’t.
For example, I see guys do this one a lot, if you’re out at a party or a club and you
go up to a girl and ask her if she wants to dance, while she’s waiting to buy a drink
at the bar, you just fucked up.
You see this situation is seen as weird and creepy by the girl because it shows that you
lack social IQ.
Obviously she doesn’t want to dance if she’s by the bar, and approaching her and asking
that from the start shows that you don’t understand social cues or your surroundings,
and this lack of social understanding leads her to believe that you’re a creep who’s
only going up to her to hit on her and try to sleep with her.
And that right there, is the next big mistake you want to avoid.
You want to avoid being transactional with the girl.
Loosen up, be free flowing, and don’t be in your head so much.
Guys over-analyze and are in their head so much when going into interactions that they
tend to go in with a script of how the interaction is supposed to go and then they end up just
going through the motions instead of being present and being in the fucking room.
It’s like trying to score a touchdown before you even catch a football.
Girls aren’t stupid.
They pick up on you when you’re being transactional and see that you’re going through the motions
and have an ulterior motive or agenda.
And they know, there’s a 99% chance that, that agenda is to try and bang her.
This is the exact reason why girls hate nice guys, not just because they’re nice or because
they like overly aggressive douchebags.
But because when a guy is being “fake nice” in order to further his agenda of sleeping
with the girl, it shows that 1) the guy isn’t actually nice and 2) that he’s putting on
a weird front in order to sleep with the girl and this weird front that guys put on, inevitably
comes off as creepy because the girl sees what he’s doing and assumes it’s because
the guy is socially stupid.
Another neat hack I’ve learned from thousands of hours I’ve spent meeting and talking
to girls, is that you can use your style to position yourself and signal to other people
that you’re a cool, and more importantly, socially competent person, aka not creepy!
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Having really good style and dressing well shows people that you’re aware of style
trends and are socially tuned enough to know what looks good and what doesn’t, so this
completely gets past most girl’s creep filters and makes them WAY more open to talking to
you.
This is why you gotta make sure you’re rocking the best pieces, from ESNTLS.
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Another big creepy no-no, is asking for permission too much and seeking the girl’s validation.
Now by asking for permission, I don’t mean going up and rubbing your package all over
the girl without asking, that’s definitely a no-no.
What I mean is asking permission for every little thing like, asking to go to the other
side of the bar instead of just leading her, or asking her where she wants to go, instead
of just leading her there and assuming she’ll follow.
Nice guys will tend to ask for permission before doing any little thing, and seek the
girl’s validation before making or committing to a decision.
When in reality, it’s better AND more socially correct to lead interactions naturally as
opposed to ask permission every step of the way.
Asking permission shows that you’re not used to interacting with people and lack the
confidence to take charge, meaning you’re probably a weirdo who doesn’t leave the
house often and spends the day inside jacking off with the blinds down.
Constantly seeking that validation from a girl shows her that you have an agenda and
that you need her to like you to forward that agenda, and this shitty attempt at manipulating
the girl often falls flat and yup, you guessed it, gets you labeled as creepy.
Another big mistake guys do is that they show WAY too much interest upfront.
Every time I see this I’m like “Broooooooooooooo.”
It’s the fastest way to shoot yourself in the foot.
Don’t show too much interest.
Going into the interaction with too much interest is weird because 1) you don’t even know
her yet and 2) you’re giving her all this attention and validation when, for all you
know she could be the most annoying and shitty girl you’ve ever met!
Not to mention, that when you go in with too much interest before even knowing her, it
starts to give her the sense that you have an agenda and are only showing that interest,
so she’ll have sex with you.
And again, as you know, that’s gonna get you the Creep stamp.
The best way to avoid getting that creep stamp is to put yourself in social situations constantly.
If you’re constantly hearing from girls and other people that you’re creepy, it
might be because you are.
And you need to learn to stop being creepy, and to start being socially intelligent.
You learn this by going out and socializing…
A LOT.
And I don’t mean going out maybe once or twice a month, no I mean going out and doing
social activities like 2-3 times a week minimum.
If you’re an awkward ass noob, building a solid set of social skills requires practice
and effort.
You see, the problem is that most guys don’t socialize with anyone outside of their small
friend group, and the only time they do, is to go and hit on girls which is why they end
up sucking at it and coming off as creepy.
If the only time you’re socializing with a new person is when it’s with a hot girl
you’re trying to bang, it’s going to come off really weird and you’re not going to
be able to do it in a way that’s smooth and natural.
This is why it’s important to learn how to socialize with ugly girls and girls you
don’t care about so the stakes are lower.
You should even learn to effectively socialize with guys you’re just meeting as well.
All of these will help when it’s time to interact with that hot girl you actually care
about.
And that my friends is it.
In summary:
Understand that being creepy just means you’re being uncalibrated
Don’t be transactional Drop the fake nice attitude
Use your style to position yourself as not creepy
Don’t ask for permission for every little thing
Don’t show too much intent upfront Go out a lot
And don’t forget to check out the best fitting clothing and get your hands on the essential
pieces that every guy needs, by using the link and code in my description.
It’ll get you a sweet discount from our sponsor ESNTLS.
Now that I taught you everything about NOT being creepy, I better not see any of you
guys on To Catch A Predator.
Deal?
Good.
Zeus out.