Heya playa, when you like someone that's older than you, starting a conversation or even
asking them out might seem like an impossible task to do.
Even with the difference of one year between your ages can make you feel like they're so
much older than you.
But, don't worry.
In this video I'm going to share my strategy for approaching someone that's older than
you and confidently asking them out.
This is The Josh Speaks.
You're watching The Josh Speaks.
This is a question I've come across a lot.
It's usually a situation where someone like's an older sibling's friend, someone that's
older in school or someone they grew up with.
If the answer you're looking for here is that age is just a number then it doesn't really
take into account the possibility as to whether or not your relationship with them could work.
So before we tackle how to create a situation where you could ask them out, lets look at
some of the potential deal breakers that might get in the way.
If the person you want to ask out is a friend of your older sibling, then there's a chance
that awkwardness might pop up there.
Your sibling might want to keep you and their friends completely separate so that they don't
mix worlds.
And even if their friend is someone that you see regularly, they may also view you like
a younger sibling because that's how your sibling is presenting you to them.
And that same type of mentality also applies to someone you grew up knowing.
Even though you've gotten older and started to develop real feelings for them, if they
were there to observe your growth from awkward and shy teenager to respectable young adult,
they may still see you as that young kid.
And because they still see you as that young kid, it can be hard for them to develop a
romantic connection with you because they just cannot imagine it.
I do want to separate the third case and this is simply a situation where the person that
you like is just a little bit older than you or potentially in a higher grade.
I think this type of situation is a lot more manageable, but my rule of thumb is to always
stick within the grade levels of your school.
For example, if you're in middle school, try to stick within dating between 6th grade and
8th grade.
Or if you're in high school, try to stick between 9th and 12th.
I know this differs from school to school so do whatever your school follows.
But going after someone in a higher grade can be tough because with every new grade
there are new challenges you face where that person might feel that you being younger may
not understand yet.
8th graders might be focused on what high school to go to, 9th and 10th graders might
be focused on SAT prep, and 11th and 12th graders might be preparing themselves for
college.
It's a really weird way to look at it but that's sometimes how people look at it.
And if there's an even wider age gap, you two might have completely different life experiences
or life goals in that moment, making it that much harder to have a relationship.You're
not watching this video to not learn how to ask out someone older than you, you wanna
know how to do it so I'm gonna share those tips with you now.
A huge part of building a romantic connection is to develop a personal where you're displaying
confidence and maturity that's well beyond your age.
A good way to go about that is to be inquisitive and that simply means to ask them questions
that would be relevant to someone their age in their stage of life.
If you can ask them or talk to them about things that are relevant to someone in their
age range then it'll be a whole lot easier for them to open up and talk to you as if
you guys see eye to eye.
You can always ask them questions like how's their school day going, what do they have
planned for the weekend, what are some of their hobbies or just other general things
to get them to open up to you.
Plus, if you know they're at the age where they're preparing for something big, whether
it's moving out, getting a car, going to college, whatever it is, that's something you can approach
the conversation talking about.
Another thing that tends to slip under the radar when it comes to asking out someone
older than you is how you're presenting your own image.
Now I'm by no means suggesting you change who you are, but I do think you should be
more conscious of how you dress, how you speak to others and what you choose to share with
the world.
I know that sometimes when you're younger you might say or do stupid things just because
they're funny or you're just having a good time, but your crush might not see it that
way.
As you get older and as they get older, those may be things that they're paying more attention
to so you want to start paying attention to them now so that you can be on their level.
And if you don't know where to start, try to ask a variety of your different friends.
Guys, girls and everyone else to observe you and to see what you could do to make yourself
appear a little bit more mature to take it up a notch.
Finally, one of the toughest challenges you may encounter is actually finding a way to
interact with them.
Because they're older, you may just not ever run into them.
That's why it's so important to find mutual connections that the two of you have.
Whether it's a group of friends, a relative, whatever it may be.
Do the two of you share any group settings?
Whether it's going to church together, playing sports after school or going to any kind of
family event where you see them?
If you see these type of opportunities pop up, try to find someone that the two of you
have in common that can help bring you together.
Sometimes the space that exists between you two can be filled with a mutual friend.
And that mutual friend can talk you up to them and help them see you in a more romantic
light.
And the beauty of having someone that can talk you up is that you're already pre-approved.
Your mutual friend already likes you so it's totally possible for your crush to see you
on an equal level.
What do you think though, do you like someone that's older than you?
What is the age difference between you and the person you want to ask out?
Leave a comment below and we'll talk about it.
So when the time comes to finally ask them out, you'll have already built the ground
work for a romantic connection.
You'll know what their hobbies are, you guys have shared your interests with each other
and you'll truly feel, both of you like age really is just a number.
As always guys, love and peace.