Heya playa, if you want to have a much more successful dating life
there are three specific qualities that you need to learn how to master.
By doing this you're going to have much more honest,
committed, and happier relationships, so let's walk through what they are.
I think the easiest way to explain this concept would be to lay it out
in a chart because if you were to master just one or two of these areas you still
might run into one of the problems I'm going to point out in just a minute.
The first quality that you're going to want to master is building your persistence.
This means being determined enough to approach a person that you like.
To start a conversation with them knowing that you have the confidence to carry it through.
Is there a potential that you might get rejected? Yes.
Do you have some doubts lingering that might be holding you back from going after it? You bet.
But you still have what it takes to go after the person that you want.
Being persistent is all about pursuing the thing that matters to you.
The second quality you need to have is self-awareness.
This means having a deep intuitive sense of what you bring to the table when you
interact with that person along with how that interaction is going are they weirded out are
they having a good time having a deep sense of how it actually is playing out.
Being self-aware means stepping outside of your own head.
Instead of rambling on and on about what you want to talk about
really trying to create a bridge so the conversation goes smoothly.
So they enjoy talking to you, so they open up and feel comfortable interacting with you.
That could mean to pivot to a different conversation topic or to ask a different
question or even to just end the conversation if you feel like they're just not feeling it.
If things are uncomfortable and you know the best thing to do is to walk away.
And the third quality you need to master is being value-aligned.
This means understanding what matters most to you.
Recognizing what you're looking for in a partner and really assessing
whether or not this person meets that criteria as you get to know them better.
Truly understanding your values means taking notice of red flags that might pop up as you
talk to them or recognizing if the two of you just don't mesh.
And yeah you may think they're hot but if you feel like that vibe isn't going
to be long-term or long-lasting it might not be worth pursuing.
Persistence, self-awareness, and value-aligned.
Those are the three qualities so if we put them up here on the chart
we can see how they all interact with each other.
So what happens if you have just two of those qualities and not the third?
If you only spend time working on the qualities of persistence
and self-awareness you're going to find yourself in a lot of unhealthy relationships.
This means that you're not actually vetting that partner.
Maybe you decided that they're just hot enough to date and that's all you really want from them.
Well as you spend more time with them and really get to know them you might uncover
other things that actually make your life harder and more difficult along the way.
Those are the type of relationships that often end up being shallow,
sometimes have physical or verbal abuse mixed into them, and you might
end up finding out that when you're with your partner you have nothing in common with them.
There's no bond that really ties you together as people.
If you are persistent and confident enough to go after the person that you want and you're
value-aligned and know exactly what you're looking for in a partner but you lack that
self-awareness you're gonna come off looking like a creep whenever you interact with someone.
Missing that self-awareness piece means you might end up
fixating on someone that you really really like.
Someone that you've determined is your perfect partner and you need to be with them
without actually recognizing whether or not that's something that they want too.
So what if you have that self-awareness and can pick up on what this person wants and you're also
value-aligned, you know what you want in a partner and in a relationship but what
you ultimately lack is the persistence piece?
This is going to leave you in the friend zone.
You might be too scared to approach that person to ask them out,
to make a definitive choice about what it is you want to do about your situation.
If you're in the friend zone you know what's going on.
This person doesn't feel the same way about you that you do about them
so you'll settle for this friend role because you lack that persistence.
The ability to put your confidence on display is something you may struggle with so
you'll just kind of take a more muted friend role to not lose them from your lives.
And that's why these three qualities are going to lead to the perfect mindset for dating.
But if you feel like you're someone that gets in your own head a lot,
check out the video I have over there on the side.
I think it's going to help you work through some of those challenges that
might be holding you back from pursuing someone that you like.
On that note, I'll catch you next time.
As always, love and peace.