ETHAN>> Whaddup pimps?
Pimps!
Welcome my friends back to another epic legit report.
I'm your host, Ethan Klein,
E.K. from H3.
The first story today is that sadly,
you can speak to my hair again, the restraining order has been appealed
but give it a year, and you're back on notice!
But I'll tell you whose hair you can't talk to,
Lele Pons!
Now Lele Pons, if you don't know - you probably have seen her, she's queen of Instagram comedy
LELE FROM VIDEO>> WE NEED TO GET REVENGE!
ETHAN>> Which is a genre that we are all very fond of here -
she's a viner, she's part of the viner invasion
and recently,
she donated her hair to make wigs for cancer children
which is a really wonderful, thoughtful gift, except there was just one small issue:
it wasn't actually real hair.
And Lele showed her hair extension and pretended to donate it to little cancer kids.
Lele!
Now this is viner invasion 2017 at its best, people. Look at this tweet:
ETHAN READS TWEET FROM @EMILY_GRACEFFA>> "Care to explain how you chopped off your hair and donated it, Lele Pons?
Last time I checked you can't donate extensions."
ETHAN>> two hundred and thirty thousand likes. This is the caliber of person we're dealing with here from the viner invasion.
I mean, who would donate fake hair to kids with cancer?
That's why I shaved my head, okay?
I love the little kids with cancer. I buzzed off all my hair so I could donate it.
Here it is. Just cut it off last night, I'm-- me and Hila are on the way to the post office right now.
I'm just gonna put it in the dropbox and put a stamp
to the kids with cancer. Put this on your head.
It really feels great to give back!
I would never do that, okay?
That is wrong, and way below all of us other YouTubers out here
with way more moral fiber than that.
NEXT UP!
In other news, we here at H3H3productions value our integrity above all else
and when we do something wrong, we are quick to correct the issue and correct our reporting.
So, with that being said,
we made a misreporting on Jake Paul.
We said things that were factually incorrect,
and I feel morally obligated to correct the record.
So I'm just gonna show you Jake's response
to our Everyday Bro reaction video.
And what you really-- he nails us down and I really have to apologize and make a correction.
Take a look.
ETHAN FROM VIDEO>> His tribe known as the Jake Paulers
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Good morning Jake Paulers, WHAT'S GOING ON!
GUY FROM VIDEO>> That's a whole vlog
ETHAN FROM VIDEO>> It's just his name with 'E-R' at the end
GUY FROM VIDEO>> 'E-R-S'.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Yeah he- yeah he- he- he said it's just my name with an 'E-R' at the end,
it's an 'E-R-S'.
I'm sorry GUY FROM VIDEO>> Yeah so that's three- that's three letters
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Yeah
GUY FROM VIDEO>> Which is one more than two and not just 'E-R' JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Yeah, yeah... yeah
ETHAN>> So here Jake and his henchman
attack us right at the heart of the issue.
They really took offense with how I said 'Jake Pauler' with just 'E-R'.
But clearly there's an 'S' at the end because there's no such thing as singular, I guess.
It's almost so stupid I can't wrap my head around it but apparently I was supposed to write an 'S'.
ETHAN FROM VIDEO>> I don't think he can invent putting 'E-R' at the end of a thing.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> It's 'E-R-S' again.
He keeps on saying it's put an 'E-R', it's 'E-R-S', so I just feel bad.
ETHAN>> "I'm A JakePaulers"
"I'm An HilaKleiners"
And anyone else who says it without an 'S'
You're mistaken!
You know what Jake?
I retract my retraction!
Last episode I said 'I needed to daddy up on you'.
Well it's time to daddy up and dish out a lesson!
ETHAN READS>> "Nouns ending in -er
It's usually added to verbs to make nouns with the meaning 'a person or thing that does something', for example: a builder, a farmer, a sprinkler, or a beeper.
You don't see it saying 'builders, farmers, sprinklers', JAKE.
That's plural, it's an add-on.
*ETHAN COUGHS*
We need to get a teacher out in the Team 10 house.
To do some basic English lessons on you guys.
If you're gonna be stupid, can you at least please be consistently stupid?
Moments later, he accuses me of being a Jake Pauler.
'E-R'. Where's the 'S' Jake?
GUY FROM VIDEO>> It's also like a really old vlog he chose, so he was going through your stuff.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Oh so he must be a Jake PaulER
GUY FROM VIDEO>> He's a Jake PaulER!
SPOOKY JAKE>> It's a 'E-R-S' He must be a Jake Pauler It's 'E-R-S' again. He keeps on saying 'E-R', but it's 'E-R-S'
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> It's 'E-R-S' so I just feel bad.
ETHAN>> Speaking of daddying up on Jake:
I've got a video that will make you think that Jake's daddy, needs to get daddyied up on.
So the title of this video is called "KISSING CONTEST (ME vs. MY DAD)
And it sounds pretty creepy and weird...
and it is.
It's very creepy and weird.
To be fair, his dad is pretty dope,
and I would definitely understand a 16 year old girl wanting to kiss him.
I mean, he does have a puka shell necklace and spirit bead bracelets.
So...
I'd fuck him.
Let's have a look.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Listen to what's going on right now guys.
Basically, you know how we always get into these arguments on who's the better kisser.
But then my dad...
JAKE'S DAD FROM VIDEO>> If I was in it, you guys would all lose.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> Does Mylin have her friend here?
Olivia?
GUY FROM VIDEO>> Pop tag and she's down.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> If I just give her a pop tag, right?
ETHAN FROM VIDEO>> For those of you guys who don't know, a pop tag is what you see here.
So essentially this is their currency that they pay girls to kiss them.
I think there's a name for that, but I can't remember what it is.
GUY FROM VIDEO>> Pop tag and she's down.
JAKE FROM VIDEO>> If i just give her a pop tag, right?
GUY FROM VIDEO>> Okay, contestant number one, good job! That is it for contestant number one.
Contestant number two are you ready?
ETHAN>> Beyond the fact that Jake is kissing the same girl as his dad.
Look at his friend, who is like, caressing her sexually as these guys fricking tag team her.
Is this what goes on at Team 10?
Is it just like a giant freaking gang bang with his dad involved?
[Creepy music]
ETHAN>> This shit is pretty creepy dude.
But wait - daddy didn't even get a kiss yet.
*ETHAN SMOOCHES*
GUY FROM VIDEO>> Last, but certainly not least. Contestant number three, step on up!
ETHAN>> Look at those dabs! Daddy's coming in for a kiss boys.
*ETHAN MAKES SLURPING NOISE*
Ahah yeah!
Oh god! Is that just the most putrid thing?
I love how he goes in for like three- he goes in for three.
He knows he's not getting any hot tail like this for a while.
Daddy takes full advantage.
She's like "alright I'm done, that's obviously an old guy.
Smells like an old guy and he's got a mid-life crisis goatee."
*ETHAN SMOOCHES*
Holy smokes!
By the way, if you go in the comments and read,
even his twelve year old girl fans know that this is pretty creepy.
ETHAN READS COMMENT FROM ELI C>> "Omg that poor girl would have totally felt pressured to kiss.
Look at how many guys were standing around her asking if she wanted to participate. That whole scene was horrible to watch!"
ETHAN READS COMMENT FROM KIGGIN LESTER>> "This is a bit disturbing and objectifying... wtf is wrong with your channel, everything is so sexual??"
ETHAN READS COMMENT FROM ARIANA BLUE>> "Greg Paul literally disgusts me... that girl was WAY younger than him... It honestly made me so uncomfortable to watch this... I'd be embarrassed if that were my dad..."
ETHAN>> These guys do not know embarrassment, trust me on that.
ETHAN READS COMMENT FROM EVIE RAERAE11>> "Why would a young girl kiss Jake's dad am I the only person who finds that really wrong. And VERY cringe"
ETHAN>> When a twelve year is coming up to you and being like "Dude, this may be a little inappropriate",
I think you better daddy up. I think it's time to daddy up, or maybe it's time to daddy out.
Let's get daddies out, no more daddying.
Next up in the news:
SoFlo, friend of the show, and living meme and legend,
has converted his YouTube channel to pretty much be a complete spam bot.
I mean, have a look.
He uploaded five hundred videos in one day, on his YouTube channel,
which is pretty much just a prank graveyard.
Have a look through these videos if you want to find some absolute classic nuggets here.
For example, 'Sequence 01,' the description:
"Pranks are the "funny videos" on Youtube, especially... Kissing Prank and Social Experiment! Kiss and Sex happens or even pranks gone wrong!"
That's a real sentence, that I- that's written in a description box.
That being said, tune into our podcast next week--
I'm gonna try and get SoFlo on the phone to give us some insight into his high level strategy that he's performing on YouTube.
Also worth being said,
if you head on over to the H3 podcast channel
you will find, we flew your boy
Rudy Pantoja Jr. AKA Hugh Mungus
out to join us on the podcast
it was a lot of fun, the link is in the description in the sidebox.
And again, Prank Invasion continues to play with our heart.
Last time he missed the deadline he had this epic comeback, the date passed, nothing came.
"THE COMEBACK June 21st", well he updated the banner again,
"THE COMEBACK July 21st"
Again it's July 30th, how are you going to play with my heart like this?
How are you going to give me a kiss on family fuck day and then just walk out of my life like that?
Two times Chris? Come on dude.
We need the comeback.
We need the old Prank Invasion back.
I miss you dude.
[Chris with classical music in the background]
What up Invaders, Chris here. Alright, so today I'm on Venice Beach and it's No Clothes Family Day.
What up Invaders, Chris here. Alright, so today I'm on Venice Beach and it's Mommy Makeout Day.
What up Invaders, Chris here. Alright, so today we're at Venice Beach and it's Pregnancy Information Day.
So today, I'm gonna go around and kiss girls that are pregnant.
"You never know what you had until it's gone"
"Miss you Chris"
ETHAN>> And now I want to thank our sponsor, Blue Apron, for graciously supporting our show.
Blue Apron, if you don't know, brings the farmer's market right to your door.
It's actually a really fun service. We cooked up some fish and vegetables and rice
and I have to say, it was amazing, and it was really fun to cook it for yourself.
You don't have to go grocery shopping. You've got all these great fresh ingredients
You cook the dang meal. You learn a little bit about cooking too.
It's really fun and then you're done, man.
It's actually a great, fun experience, I highly recommend it.
The fish was dank, bro.
Everything that is required to cook for the meal, you get it included in the box.
And the first one hundred and fifty people to sign up will get three meals off their Blue Apron order for free!
So click the link in the description.
Get that free meal from Blue Apron
Join me on my quest never to leave the house again.
Guys, thank you so much for watching,
Thank you Blue Apron for sponsoring us.
We appreciate ya and we'll be seeing ya next time.