Hello, everybody. My name is Markiplier and welcome back to another round of me being roasted by the internet.
I went on r/roastme about a year and a half ago, or maybe even more than that now
Maybe almost two years ago now, I went on r/roastme and
here I am back again for another round of punishment, because it wasn't that bad. I didn't cry for that long,
I got a little more self confidence in me that I need to stomp out, and in fact on my birthday
I actually made these posts, and I asked people to roast me again. So let's see
What you got in store for me?
And if I'm gonna cry like a little bitch baby here. See if you even look on the roast me page
I'm actually kind of Mike Wazowski-ing it up over here, hidden up by the snoo. Oh good, celebrity!
Auditory cancer, great! "I'm sorry but no matter
how far you stretch that log of a neck you still won't reach six feet tall."
Hahaha~
Guess uh... guess I was stretchin' a bit in this pic here. "And no matter how far
he stretches his eyes, they will never look normal."
"If this roast me says anything about your career, then you're truly not relevant anymore.
You couldn't even manage to make this to the front page."
I don't think I made it to the front page last time anyway, but I definitely made it to the front page of your
Subreddit, so maybe it's your subreddit is dying, not me! I'm here twice
so I'm like the hero of the subreddit, or the villain, or the piece of shit staining the corner, hidden behind the snoo...
"Hasbro have already issued a cease and desist for the unauthorized
use of a Mr. Potato head for a face."
How do they know?! Wait hang on I gotta pull up a side-by-side of that one. Here we go, everything's gonna be worth it
Don't look away
Uheuheuheuhuh.... ahahaha!
The resemblance
is oddly striking!
"Your channel taught me the desirability of no commentary gameplay videos."
"I wouldn't unplug your life support to charge my phone. I would just unplug
your life support..." I get it, I think? "You know no one likes him when his own dick says things about him."
I didn't even see that that guy's name was Markiplier's dick. "What, we're just gonna ignore the fact that his dick owns
a phone?" "His dick is its own sentient being." My dick has its own channel over on Pornhub. "Stop calling up
Pewdiepie for video ideas." No! His service is so affordable,
he's desperate for money, none of his videos get monetized
so I have to go to him! "Your girlfriend only stays with you for your bank account and your dog,
mostly the dog." I'd say that pretty much anyone in my life only sticks around because Chica's too cute.
I could literally--I can literally be replaced with Chica
tomorrow and no one would care, in fact, everyone would be happier. Wouldn't get a single dislike, everything would be lovely!
Ahahah
Hey wait, no, this seems familiar. "You look like Markiplier." "It could be worse. He could *be* Markiplier."
"It's Deja Vu all over," please tell me this links to the first one. "No offense, but you kind of look like Markiplier."
"It could be worse, he could sound and act like Markiplier too." Hahaha!
"I'm sorry, but I think you've posted to the wrong subreddit. You should try r/facials. Oh edit:
I don't know this twat is but from reading the comments he seems to maybe be a youtuber."
Hey, didn't you read from my quote-unquote celebrity tag?
I am auditory cancer, Sir! Get it right!
"Screw what the other guys have said, your content really moves me. For example, my 8 year old brother was watching one of your videos
So I moved to a different room," ha
ha
ha ha
...Ah, fuck. "You are to Youtube what Amy Schumer is to comedy."
I got no response to that one. That's pretty good.
"My little sister loves this guy, probably because he looks and acts like a sock puppet come to life." Yeah,
got someone's hand shoved up my ass every video. It's great. Oh my god, a novel over here:
"You're one of the worst things about Youtube, your content's so bad, the shitty games, live action's lame, ripping off Game Grumps,
finding deeper meaning, stop dyeing your hair like a 15 year old lesbian, lame crying videos,
no one gets it, twelve year old audience, yadda byadda byadda byadda." But then, this guy got
roasted more than he even came close to roasting me because the next comment is "Okay biography over, now roast him."
Yeah, good job at wasting everybody's time there. "Mark, please tone down the resolution of your image.
It's hard enough to look at your face in 720p without vomiting. The less pixels the better."
"I'd rather fuck Wade," and then the next guy: "Real original, like Markiplier's videos." Ah!
Two-in-one roasting! I feel so burned! "You should start putting your content on Pornhub
you'll fit in there perfectly with all the exaggerated screaming and close-up shots of
assholes."
That's hilarious, that's a good one. I'm gonna vote that one up, that one was fuckin' good. "You're my college dropout
inspiration." Thank you! I'm happy I can inspire you.
ha ha
I like this. Oh man, this is actually fun. Oh
I love this one. "Doodly do, scrolling through the reddit, doodly doo, sees Markiplier,
Doodly-Doo,
closes reddit. Oh boy!"
"You should call your mom and apologize. It's a really disappointing day for her, too."
Oh, my mom reminds me about the day I was born, every birthday, about how I ruined
her, and I was never supposed to be born. "At least you don't look as bad as this guy," this better be good...
This just links back to my picture here!
So anyway, that is all the time I got for this video,
thank you everybody so much for watching and thank you to everybody that took the time to roast me.
I really do appreciate it, like, believe it or not,
I really do appreciate it, because a lot of you guys took the time to craft up some jokes or maybe you recycled them from
your old roast, I don't really care. This was a lot of fun.
And if you guys watching have a roast of your own and maybe you think you can do better than these guys over on this
subreddit, then let me have it! Come on! Make me laugh, try, insult me,
I don't care. Put it down in the comments below, vote up the ones that make you laugh
and if you're just tossing out an insult, feel free, I don't really care.
But let's see what you got,
'cause it doesn't matter to me if you guys roast me, if people hate me, like it really doesn't. All that matters is that I'm having
a great time
making videos and trying to make myself better, and that's all it's all about, that's what it's all about! So thank you again everybody
so much for watching, and as always, I will see you in the next video.
Buh-bye!