- Hi, I'm Jonah Ray from "Mystery Science Theater 3000,"
and you're about to play
"Choose Your Squad."
- Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah
yeah. Yeah.
- You're just going to drop five characters
from the "MST3K" universe as sort
of your ideal squad to watch a movie
and riff on a movie with.
- Okay, great.
- You'll go one at a time.
And once someone's picked they're
off the board, you can't pick 'em anymore.
- Oh, okay.
This is competitive.
- It is competitive. - All right, I've got this.
- The top layer are worth five points,
middle, three points,
bottom line, one point.
And you only have 15 points to spend.
Do you guys want to shoot to see who goes first?
- We messed this up in that movie we did.
In "Pooka!", I kept on messing up.
- That's true.
- We did a movie when I was supposed to do like
paper every time and I kept doing scissors
'cause I wanted to win.
Ah, all right,
- [Both] 1, 2, 3.
- Well, I lost.
All right, go for it.
- I want Tom Servo 'cause he was my first crush.
Every individual I've ever dated from,
in my life has,
it's stemmed with Tom Servo.
- I'm going to have to go, you know Mike Nelson.
He is the GOAT when it comes to MST like riffing
and sketches and just he's my
straight white whale is he is like a
he really is like, I just, I'm such a I mean
of course I love everybody on the show.
I love, you know, Joel,
I love Emily.
I just put up with myself,
but like Mike Nelson is my guy.
- I want my TV's Frank, Max.
I want my Max. Patton is a joy to work
with and I will not let anyone else have him
even though he will be mine to abuse only.
- Well, I here's the thing, I, I'm not
I'm not trying to go like, you know, real base on this
but like I'm going to go Dr. Clayton Forrester,
because also Trace, I think is, you know
like an American John Cleese.
I, if you just watch the cold open
of the "Mystery Science Theater Movie,"
the amount of work he does,
like piping all of the stuff you have to know
about the story and all the physical moves,
and the physical comedy,
and the the jumping up and down the motions.
Like it's like the turns.
He's just, I think he's just
an incredible comedic performer,
that like really hasn't gotten his due,
as opposed to like on a larger scale
that I think he should have.
- I'm taking in a Crow, 'cause I already have Tom.
I want both of them.
They're both attractive,
sardonic individuals.
They definitely set the humor.
My brother and I fought about everything.
We were not kind to each other as children.
The one thing that we could ever agree on,
was watching "MST3K" together.
And so I think that our senses of humor
were literally formed by "MST3K"
and Crow and Tom together are I think that's,
those...it's us.
It's me and my brother,
even though I dated Tom, that's weird.
Did I say that I dated Toms my whole life,
and that I am Tom?
There's some psychology going on here.
Let's not deep dive into it, okay?
- Okay, I am going to go with Pearl Forrester
and now I keep, but I know I'm doing this thing
where I'm like talking about the actual person as more
than the character.
I know you're being a suck up, and that's okay.
- I'm not trying to be
I'm not trying to be, but it's just like
I'm not sure if anyone has ever seen Mary Jo Pehl
at like "Cinematic Titanic" shows,
or her show or any the, you know, like her show.
She does work for Dumb Industries and stuff like that,
"The Mary Jo Pehl Show."
But she just like her riffs are just dropped,
she just drops bombs.
Like if you ever saw her live at like "Cinematic Titanic,"
it's like every riff she had just like was the one
that made the room go crazy.
So that's what you want to be watching
and riffing with is Mary Jo.
- Now that we know that Joel is Artie, I'm going to take
Artie 'cause I want Joel.
- Who's the suck up now?
- Yeah, because Joel's amazing.
I remember the
- Now these other people are our bosses.
You picked our boss, but you didn't
- Yeah, I did. Because when Joel talks to me,
I can't tell if we are in the present,
or when I'm like 10 years old.
His voice is a teleportation device for me.
And it's so iconic.
He's like, yeah, Felicia.
I'm like what?
He's like a nice sweater, he is.
- It's like, when you hear Big Bird's voice
it's just like, you're just...oh, that's nice.
Which is why I like the band, "The Weakerthans,"
'cause John K. Samson, the singer sounds
like Big Bird, and you just kind of go I'm here.
This is...everything's comfortable.
I'm going to have to go with my guy M. Waverly.
I really wanted him to show up more on the show.
I just think he's such, he's probably
the saddest character that "MST" has ever created.
It's just, nobody likes him.
And he is so positive
and he just gets destroyed and just kicked aside.
And I just I'm a sucker for that.
I really, you know, I'm a fan of the losers.
- Okay. I'm going, this is hard
because I've got Growler, Earhardt,
Dr. Earhardt and Professor Bobo.
I don't like Growler.
I'm going with Bobo.
I want some Bobo in my life.
I mean, Professor Bobo has a lineage.
He has history.
He has gravitas.
And so when you need a little
- Gravitas? - Gravitas.
- What was the, how did he say, remember, it was
like the season finale of our first Netflix season,
where he goes like, "Oh, moshed potahtoes."
Like you just
- So funny.
Yeah. I want that on my team.
Okay. I'm rounding it out.
- All right.
You know what?
I gotta get some new blood in here.
I'm going to go with Mega-Synthia from the new crew.
Yvonne Freese, just delightfully, true weirdo.
Just like an...iconically
weird like and hilarious.
So I think she brings just an element of chaos,
that I don't think I have in my crew yet.
So I would kind of need that.
But yeah, I'll go with Mega-Synthia.
- I'm happy.
I'm happy with my team.
Although you took all my relatives.
Yeah. Everybody's great. - That's true.
- But that's kind of weird.
I didn't pick any of my relatives.
- That's true.
That's a, that's another psychology moment for you.
Like not picking any family members.