♪ ♪
♪ >> STEPHEN: WELCOME BACK.
HE IS A COMEDIAN, DIRECTOR, AND ACTOR YOU KNOW FROM "SLEEPWALK
WITH ME," "DON'T THINK TWICE," AND "BILLIONS."
HIS NEW BOOK IS "THE NEW ONE: PAINFULLY TRUE STORIES FROM A
RELUCTANT DAD."
PLEASE WELCOME TO "A LATE SHOW," MIKE BIRBIGLIA!
HEY, MIKE, HOW ARE YA?
>> I'M GOOD.
IT'S A LOADED QUESTION, HOW ARE YOU, THESE DAYS.
IT'S A 45-MINUTE ANSWER.
>> Stephen: YEAH.
WE DON'T HAVE THAT MUCH TIME.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT I KNOW THE FEELING.
IT'S SO AUTONOMIC AT THIS POINT, BUT, STILL, IT'S NOT A FAIR
QUESTION THESE DAYS.
>> IT USED TO BE A THROWAWAY, WHICH MEANT I DON'T CARE HOW
YOU'RE DOING.
AND, NOW, IT'S -- WE'RE GOING TO NEED TO TALK ABOUT SOME THINGS
IS THE ANSWER, AND, ALSO, WHEN PEOPLE WILL ANSWER WITH
QUESTIONS, THEY'LL GO, OKAY!
OR, LIKE, FINE?
AND IT'S A LOT.
HOW ARE YOU'S A LOT, IS WHAT I'M SAYING, STEPHEN.
>> Stephen: MM-HMM.
SO HOW ARE YOU?
>> EH...
( LAUGHTER ) >> Stephen: OKAY, YOU HAVE
BEEN PRODUCTIVE IN QUARANTINE.
YOU STARTED AN INSTAGRAM LIVE SHOW.
TIP YOUR WAIT STAFF IN A PODCAST CALLED WORK IT OUT.
WHAT HAVE YOU BEEN TRYING TO WORK IT OUT.
>> TIP YOUR WAIT STAFF WAS TO RAISE MONEY FOR COMIC CLUB
WORKERS, AND THAT WAS ON INSTAGRAM.
AND I CREATED A POD WAST TO TRY TO WORK OUT BECAUSE MY TOUR GOT
RESCHEDULED FOR -- I MEAN, YOU STILL HAVE YOUR SHOW RUNNING.
MY TOUR IS RESCHEDULED FOR A YEAR FROM NOW.
A YEAR.
AND, SO, WHAT I DECIDED IS I'M GOING TO WORK OUT MATERIAL ON A
PODCAST WITH COMEDIANS.
SO I'VE HAD JOHN MULANEY AND "RAY GLASS AND HANNAH GADSBY AND
ALL THESE PEOPLE ANDLY GET NOTES.
>> Stephen: FROM THEM.
FROM THEM, AND IT'S LIKE OPENING UP THE PROCESS.
>> Stephen: WOW.
FOR A SECOND, YOU'RE SAYING WORKING IT OUT.
I THOUGHT FOR A MINUTE, I WONDER IF HE'S GOING TO WORK OUT?
BECAUSE IF YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE ON TOUR FOR A YEAR, YOU'D REALLY
SHOCK A LOT OF PEOPLE IF YOU CAME OUT OF QUARANTINE THE
RIPPED BIRBIGLIA.
>> YEAH, I THINK A LOT OF PEOPLE WOULD LOVE TO SEE A RIPPED
BIRBIGLIA BUT I DON'T THINK IT'S GOING TO HAPPEN.
>> Stephen: SHAVE YOUR HEAD, GET HEADPHONES, GET AN MMA.
( LAUGHTER ) A LOT OF STATES ARE REOPENING,
MAYBE TOO SOON.
>> YEP.
>> Stephen: MAYBE SOME PEOPLE HAVE DONE THE RIGHT THINGS AND,
YOU KNOW, IT'S OKAY.
WHERE DO YOU STAND ON THAT?
ARE YOU NERVOUS ABOUT THAT?
ARE YOU READY TO DO THAT?
>> MY QUARANTINE BUDDIES ARE MY WIFE JEN AND OUR 5-YEAR-OLD
DAUGHTER UNA.
>> Stephen: WHOM I'VE MET.
YOU'VE MET TWICE.
>> Stephen: ZERO AND TWO.
HE WAS ONE AND TWO.
BUT MY WIFE AND I ARE BOTH VERY CAUTIOUS, BUT I WOULD DESCRIBE
OUR LEVELS OF CAUTION AS, ON A SCALE OF ONE TO TEN, I'M A TEN
AND SHE IS A TEN POINT THREE AND THERE'S A WORLD OF DIFFERENCE
WITH THAT POINT THREE.
I VIEW MYSELF AS BASICALLY A WALKING AS MAT SUIT, AND SHE
LOOKS AT ME LIKE I'M ONE OF THOSE PEOPLE IN THE OZARKS, YOU
KNOW, PLAYING CHICKEN ON EACH OTHERS SHOULDERS AND WHATNOT.
BUT, YEAH, WE'RE HAVING A NICE TIME.
IT'S LIKE ANYTHING, WE'RE LIMITED IN WHERE WE CAN GO AND
WHAT WE CAN DO, BUT WE GET TO SPEND A TON OF TIME TOGETHER.
SO IT'S LIKE -- WHICH IS GREAT, AND SHE'S FIVE, WHICH IS AN
ADORABLE AGE, YOU KNOW.
>> Stephen: PERFECT.
THE BOOK IS ALL ABOUT SORT OF WHEN SHE WAS BORN -- THE
PREGNANCY THROUGH WHEN SHE WAS 13 MONTHS OLD, AND THAT WAS
REALLY HARD, AND THAT'S WHAT THE BOOK IS ABOUT, IT'S A VERY DARK,
COMEDIC BOOK ABOUT HOW HARD IT IS.
BUT NOW SHE'S AT THIS AGE WHERE EVERYTHING IS ADORABLE.
LIKE THE OTHER DAY I SAID, MOM'S GOING TO PUT YOU TO BED, AND SHE
SAID, SHE'S NOT YOUR MOM, SHE'S MY MOM.
AND I SAID THAT'S WHAT MY THERAPIST KEEPS TELLING ME,
BECAUSE ALL TODDLERS HAVE A BOSTON ACCENT.
THEY SAID I'M TI-YED.
>> Stephen: SHE GOING TO HAVE FUN ON FATHERS DAY?
>> SHE'S GOING TO HAVE PISA.
THAT'S WHAT WE HAVE IN COMMON, WE BOTH LOVE PIZZA.
THAT'S ALL I NEED FOR FATHERS DAY.
>> Stephen: WE'LL TAKE A QUICK BREAK AND BACK WITH MORE MIKE
BIRBIGLIA, EVERYBODY.