THERE'S MORE TURMOIL IN THE MIDDLE EAST.
IRAN JUST BANNED ZUMBA CLASSES FOR BEING "UN-ISLAMIC."
NOW, IN IRAN, ZUMBA HAD BEEN ADVERTISED UNDER NAMES LIKE
"BODY RHYTHM" OR "ADVANCED AEROBICS" BECAUSE "DANCING IS
TECHNICALLY ILLEGAL."
OH, COME ON, IRAN!
YOU CAN'T MAKE DANCING ILLEGAL!
THAT NEVER WORKS.
SOME HOT DUDE'S JUST GOING TO COME IN FROM THE BIG CITY AND
RILE UP THE YOUTH BY DANCING TO KENNY LOGGINS IN A WAREHOUSE.
ALL RIGHT?
♪ ♪ ♪ ( CHEERS AND APPLAUSE )
I DON'T KNOW-- I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
NO.
AND DO-- AND DO I NEED TO REMIND YOU THAT KEVIN BACON IS NOT
HALAL?
THANK YOU VERY MUCH.
YOU'RE VERY KIND, VERY NICE.
>> Jon: I LIKE THAT ONE.
>> Stephen: HE'S SURPRISED BECAUSE I DON'T THINK THAT JOKE
WAS IN REHEARSAL.
ANYONE HERE HAVE A KEN DOLL GROWING UP?
KEN WAS GREAT.
THOUGH HE DOES GIVE YOUNG GIRLS AN UNREALISTIC VIEW OF HOW
WILLING THEIR BOYFRIENDS WILL BE TO WEAR MATCHING OUTFITS.
WELL, THERE'S BIG KEN NEWS, ONCE AGAIN, THERE'S BIG KEN NEWS.
BECAUSE "GOOD MORNING AMERICA" UNVEILED A WHOLE NEW LINE OF KEN
DOLLS.
>> MORE THAN FIVE DECADES AFTER WE FIRST MET BARBIE'S GUY KEN,
MATTEL IS ANNOUNCING A NEW DIVERSE LINE OF KEN DOLLS
FEATURING THREE DIFFERENT BODY TYPES, INCLUDING BROAD, SLIM,
AND ORIGINAL.
>> Stephen: THAT IS A HUGE, HUGE UPDATE FROM THE OLD KEN
BODY TYPE-- SEXLESS AND MELTED.
BUT THERE'S ONE NEW KEN THAT'S CLEARLY THE STANDOUT.
>> THERE ARE SEVEN DIFFERENT SKIN TONES TO CHOOSE FROM AND
NINE DIFFERENT HAIRSTYLES AND EVEN--
>> A MAN BUN.
>> ONE HAS A MAN BUN, WHICH I'M LOOKING AT RIGHT THERE.
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT, THAT'S RIGHT.
MAN BUN KEN!
FOR WHEN YOU WANT YOUR BARBIE TO HOLD DOWN TWO JOBS TO SUPPORT
HER BOYFRIEND UNTIL HIS APP TAKES OFF.
( LAUGHTER ) ( APPLAUSE )
IT'S JUST A COUPLE MORE-- "JUST A LITTLE WHILE, BABE, JUST A
LITTLE WHILE."
IT'S GREAT THAT MATTEL IS GOING FOR DIVERSITY, BUT YOU HAVE TO
ADMIT, IT'S KIND OF WEIRD THAT BARBIE WILL DATE ANYONE AS LONG
AS THEY'RE NAMED KEN.
( LAUGHTER ) "SO LET ME GET THIS STRAIGHT--
EVERY BOYFRIEND BEFORE ME WAS ALSO NAMED KEN?
STOP THE MALIBU DREAM CAR RIGHT NOW.
I'M GETTING OUT."
QUICK QUESTION-- AND THIS IS IMPORTANT, I WANT TO YOU ANSWER
HONESTLY.
ANY COPS IN THE AUDIENCE?
YOU HAVE TO TELL ME IF YOU'RE A COP OR THIS IS ENTRAPMENT.
NO, OKAY, LET'S TALK ABOUT DRUGS.
POLICE IN TEXAS RECENTLY BUSTED UP A DRUG RING AND SEIZED
$1 MILLION WORTH OF METH-INFUSED LOLLIPOPS.
YEAH, YEAH-- >> Jon: THAT'S A LOT.
>> Stephen: MAKES SENSE, BECAUSE METH, LIKE LOLLY POPS,
DOES NOT REQUIRE TEETH.
TRUE STORY.
THAT JOKE IS BASED ON A TRUE STORY.
THE METH WAS COOKED AND COMBINED WITH CORN SYRUP IN AN OPERATION
"THE WASHINGTON POST" DESCRIBED AS PART "WILLY WONKA," PART "THE
WIRE."
( LAUGHTER ) THAT'S RIGHT.
>> Jon: WOW!
>> Stephen: THAT'S RIGHT.
IT WAS LIKE A DISTURBING LOOK INTO THE RAVAGES OF
MIND-ALTERING DRUGS PLUS "THE WIRE."
ONE OF THE CRAZIEST DETAILS IS THAT THE LOLLIPOPS WERE IN FUN
SHAPES LIKE FLOWERS, BUTTERFLIES, R2-D2, AND YODA.
OH, YEAH, IT WAS IMPORTANT.
YOU'VE GOT TO MAKE THEM FUN SHAPES BECAUSE METH USERS ARE
NOTORIOUSLY PICKY.
( LAUGHTER ) BUT HAVING YODA MADE INTO A METH
LOLLIPOP WAS KIND OF SURPRISING FOR ME.
SO, TO GET HIS PERSPECTIVE ON ALL OF THIS, WE TURN NOW, LIVE
VIA SATELLITE FROM DAGOBAH, YODA.
WELCOME TO THE SHOW.
YODA, EVERYBODY.
>> YEAH, GOOD TO BE HERE, IT IS.
>> Stephen: MASTER YODA, ARE YOU UPSET THAT POLICE FOUND METH
LOLLIPOPS WITH YOUR LIKENESS ON THEM?
>> YES, PISSED, I AM!
WASTED, THOSE LOLLIPOPS ARE.
DELICIOUS THEY SOUND.
>> Stephen: WAIT, YOU WANT TO TRY THEM?
600 POUNDS OF METH LOLLIPOPS WOULD TAKE DOWN AN ELEPHANT.
>> JUDGE ME BY ME SIZE, DO YOU?
HMM?
>> Stephen: YODA, THIS IS IMPORTANT.
YODA, ARE YOU HITTING THE CRANK?
>> NO, NO.
YODA CLEAN.
RUBBERY SKIN, NO TEETH, BULGING EYES, COINCIDENCE THEY
ARE.
( LAUGHTER ).
>> Stephen: I GUESS I COULD BUY THAT.
YOU ARE REALLY OLD.
>> OH, YES, 27 YEARS OLD, YODA IS.
>> Stephen: 27.
SO, YOU'RE DEFINITELY NOT ON METH.
>> NO, HIGH ON THE FORCE, I AM.
LIFT A SPACE SHIP WITH MY MIND, I WILL!
MMMMMMM!!!
>> Stephen: YODA, ARE YOU OKAY?
>> FREAKING OUT, I AM!
ON THE FORCE, NOT ON THE HIGHSPEED CHICKEN FEED.
>> Stephen: YODA, EVERYBODY!
>> YAAARGHHHBLAAAAARGH!