hey everyone and welcome to top think today we're going to learn about 10
signs you can't trust someone now let's begin number one selfish gains
has anyone ever stolen your ideas maybe a co-worker went behind your back
maybe a friend recycled one of your jokes they may have taken credits for thoughts they didn't have
or an achievement they didn't earn can you trust someone who steals someone else's spotlight
just think about what it means to steal credit from another person first and foremost it's
disrespectful taking your idea undermines the time and effort you put into that idea
when someone robs you of an accomplishment they're sending you a message they're saying their success
matters more than yours but stealing credit is more than just disrespectful it's deceitful
stealing credit means lying to the world these people deceive others to climb the social or
professional ladder they don't care who they double cross they don't keep track of how many
people they've betrayed they're only interested in their own selfish games now of course that's
not how they seem to you on the surface they seem friendly and approachable cooperative and kind if
they need you they're your best friend but as soon as they're done they'll throw you under the bus
number two skeletons in the closet is it healthy to keep secrets most of the time secrets make us
seem shifty we immediately distrust anyone who seems like they're hiding something but honesty
isn't always the best policy on rare occasions it proves that someone cannot be trusted just
take this situation a new friend invites you to lunch you've only spoken to this person a couple
of times so you're excited to get to know them but you get way more than you bargained for over
lunch your new friend reveals all their secrets all their troubles all the skeletons in their
closet unfiltered honesty shows a complete lack of boundaries at the beginning of any friendship it's
normal and healthy to keep secrets you're not intentionally hiding information you just don't
know each other well enough but what if your new friend spills every secret at the beginning this
person has little control over their words actions and emotions they blurt out every personal detail
so why is that because they lack the self-control to keep personal matters private
if this sounds familiar this person may not be trustworthy today they're spilling secrets
from their own life tomorrow they may spill secrets you trusted them to keep self-control
plays an important role in mutual trust if your friend doesn't have it they cannot be trusted
number three the manipulative gossip gossips can be dangerous people as
soon as someone leaves the room a gossip skillfully turns their friends against them
they spread rumors they create drama and conflict why because in the mind of a gossip it's fun
many gossips don't understand the value of trust they don't take their friendship seriously
they think of their friends as disposable or as tools sometimes gossips are just immature and
careless they gossip because they're looking for attention they may not realize the damage they're
doing until it comes back to bite them but some gossips create chaos with purpose and intention
these gossips treat their friends like play things puppets which they can manipulate however
they want they stir up conflict they spill secrets they make false accusations but here's the problem
most gossips are the suns at the center of their social solar system their friends cling to them
because no one wants to get on their bad side no one wants to be their next target you may
think you're immune to their careless cruelty but you're not when you leave the room they may spread
the same rumors about you so don't waste your time earning the trust of a manipulative gossip
if you know someone who spreads rumors about others the best thing you can do is walk away
number four secretive walls what phrases tell you someone can't be trusted if you hear this
phrase it can be a dead giveaway let's say you catch your friend doing something suspicious you
catch them sneaking around your room when you're not there you suspect something strange is going
on so you ask what are you doing here instead of giving an honest answer your friend says
why should i tell you untrustworthy people use phrases like these when they get defensive
your friend doesn't want to confess the truth otherwise they would have
they're trying to keep a secret hidden from you the moment you hear this phrase
you know everything you need to know your friend has something to hide
number five self-centered insecurity you're walking down the street when a stranger looks in
your direction immediately you get self-conscious you think there's something wrong with your hair
or a stain on your shirt you start panicking you assume that this stranger is staring directly at
you but the truth is they're just staring off into space you're the farthest thing from their mind
these anxious thoughts are normal we all get insecure from time to time it's also very easy to
misunderstand the world around you most people are biased they think their lives are more important
than they actually are but untrustworthy people take insecurity to a new extreme they interpret
every passing comment as a slight or an insult they think every conversation is about them they
get offended by things no one else even noticed these people think the world revolves around them
so why can't you trust them because they're too self-centered they don't care about your life
because they think their life is the only one that matters number six emotional avoidance do you know
someone who avoids emotional conversations some people like to be private they keep their personal
lives to themselves and there's nothing wrong with that however even the most private individuals
break down their walls with the right people untrustworthy people keep their walls high and
strong they don't let anyone in because they don't want anyone to know what they're hiding but how do
you know when someone is hiding behind emotional walls well try to be vulnerable with them start a
deeper more serious conversation you could open up to them about something that's troubling you
if they try to leave the conversation their walls are up if they keep the conversation focused on
you they don't want to talk about themselves now this might also take the form of eye contact
rather the lack of it if you try to make eye contact with someone and they simply never
meet your gaze they may be hiding something privacy doesn't make someone untrustworthy but
if a good friend is unwilling to be open and honest you have every right to be suspicious
number seven creepy curiosity the next sign is unique to our modern era before meeting someone
you can almost always look them up you can see pictures of them their friends and their family
you can learn about their likes and dislikes with all kinds of accounts and profiles anyone
can learn about anyone but too much research can be suspicious alright let's say you're
meeting someone on a first date you start talking about yourself but they already know
everything about you where you grew up where you went to college what company you work for
if you ever find yourself in this situation be wary yes all your information is posted online
they may say oh i was just curious so i looked you up but extensive research isn't just curious
it's creepy number eight undermining apologies untrustworthy people don't like to apologize
they rarely if ever admit that they're wrong even when they do their apologies are insincere
backhanded and even insulting for family and friends these apologies are frustrating and
discouraging because this person is not taking responsibility for their mistakes
so those mistakes happen again and again so how do you recognize a fake apology let's say
your friend insulted you out of nowhere they might say i'm sorry but you deserved it or
i'm sorry but it isn't my fault in both of these examples they're undermining their own apology
they're passing the blame they're acting like they didn't do anything wrong
if you hear apologies like these just stay on your toes because this person cannot be trusted
number nine explosive feedback have you ever given your friend negative feedback how'd they respond
untrustworthy people get defensive quickly and easily when they hear negative feedback they
rarely keep a cool head instead they lash out they get revenge by insulting or criticizing you
even if you were trying to help if your friend can't handle negative feedback they're saying you
can't be honest with me if you can't be yourself with someone in your life then you can never
really trust them number 10 emotional projection this one is challenging to unravel but it's one of
the most manipulative signs on this list emotional projection is a psychological process during
which one person displaces their feelings onto someone else all right let's say you're feeling
insecure you may accuse someone else of being insecure thereby projecting your own emotions
the projector is often unaware of what's happening they don't realize they're projecting their own
feelings onto another person so they never identify their own emotions without that
emotional recognition they never process or cope with these unconscious conflicts
so how does emotional projection affect trust let's say your friend accuses you of something
that doesn't make sense they tell you that you're being too manipulative but you don't feel angry
or defensive you feel confused you think to yourself that doesn't really sound like me
there's a good chance your friend was projecting onto you they saw a reflection of their own
unconscious emotion they may have done it by accident they may have done it on purpose
but emotional projection is a big red flag this person cannot be trusted hey thank you
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