hey everyone pushing up roses here and
welcome to hell we have such sights to
show you i'm sure some of you are
familiar with pin cushion demon spawn
pinhead and the movie hellraiser i
really enjoyed the first film a body
horror extravaganza based on a novella
by clive barker called the hellbound
heart the film tells the story of a man
who pursues a puzzle box called the
lament configuration rumors say that one
who manages to solve the puzzle and open
the box will be able to experience
pleasure beyond comprehension however
the box summons creatures named
cenobytes who cannot distinguish
pleasure from pain there is more to the
story than that but that is the main
premise for the first film which i
recommend if you haven't seen it i would
say it's a horror classic but with most
well-liked horror films a million cash
grabs and the guys of a sequel were
released all varying degrees of bad i
landed myself on hellraiser 5 inferno
because it had a more noir detective
theme and hey that's my jam my youtube
expertise if there was in fact such a
thing so i watched it and it was bonkers
and now i will relay what i saw to you
in comedic fashion as the intro credits
start rolling we're shown the notorious
lament configuration and a wavy smoky
animated text that looks like it was
done in imovie i also clocked the text
that says based on characters created by
clive barker so i'm anticipating a very
loose hellraiser movie we begin with a
rousing game of chess at a basketball
court because you know the loud gym is a
prime setting for chess i mean the chess
players are sweating just as much as the
ball players so there's that meet
detective joseph thorne a dirty cop with
a penchant for cocaine and groomed
eyebrows we get some introspection in
the form of voiceover where he compares
his life to a puzzle the allegory is
subtle but it's there but when i didn't
know what i never could have imagined
was that one day my own life would
become the most challenging puzzle of
all
this dialogue is gonna be a treat hey
it's a letter word for slaughterhouse
this is detective tony joe's new partner
who i assume is working on a crossword
puzzle but he's not holding one so i
imagine he's just had this question in
his head all day and busted it out at
the crime scene they arrive at a murder
scene where someone has been obliterated
in a room with a haphazard amount of
candles i understand this is all
evidence but should we really have all
these lit candles at the crime scene the
victim is revealed to be jay cho someone
joe knew from high school tony asked if
they were friends and joe in this
sinister way explains that he didn't
have many friends but he tried out for
the basketball team at one point he
tortured the [ __ ] out of him until he
quit seems like standard cop behavior to
me zydrate comes in a little glass vial
yeah joe pokes around a bookshelf and
just happens to find more cocaine oh
he's also a magician great not
insufferable at all he stares intensely
at a candle until he finds something
what do you got
it's a child's finger wait what that
does not look like a child's finger look
at the scale here's joe's thumb here's
the finger
it's a child's finger there's just
something hilarious about how this line
was said i'm not sure why i can't put my
finger on it
just to show how corrupt this character
is he's immediately seen here stealing
money from the evidence room and
changing the documentation he takes the
puzzle box with him and heads home where
we see he has a wife and kid what
is this weird angle what is going on
honey i found your finger his wife says
hello asks him how he is and i tried to
focus on this lethargic dialogue i
really did but i got distracted by this
amazing tea kettle [ __ ] that is cool
hang on we gotta hammer this corrupt cop
character deeper into the coffin we
gotta show him cheating on his wife with
a sex worker hang on let me take off my
glasses so i can see you better i can't
determine the mood of this scene but
what i do know is that the midi triangle
is going wild
you know what would make this really
sexy transitioning to a red screen yeah
there you go after a lukewarm sex scene
joe gets up and sits on the toilet booze
goes in poop comes out he studies the
puzzle box and i swear to god the music
that starts playing sounds like a
demonic version of the jeopardy theme
song
[Music]
the puzzle box opens and the setting
changes he is transported into his
childhood bedroom where everything is
teal he tries to leave and runs into a
very well manicured cenobite hi
another one joins in and they put their
hands inside his chest it's weird and
i'm not gonna show it here he keeps
hearing a little girl cry out for help
and when he goes to find her he runs
into chattering teeth cenobite a staple
for the hellraiser movies as he goes out
the door he runs into pinhead zoop who
promptly tears open his face joseph
wakes up on the floor next to the box he
writes everything off as a dream and
goes to work the next day you were right
about jay cho the uh punctures and tears
in the flesh they were made by a hook or
hooks with barbed ends i am definitely a
real doctor joe gets a call from daphne
the sex worker he was with the previous
night and tells joe she's still at the
hotel and needs his help i cannot tell
if she's in trouble or if she's having
the best climax of her life
he rushes back to the hotel and promptly
checks the shower
good god so much mildew joe goes back to
tony and tells him to go look in the
bathroom as he does joe takes this
opportunity to take his cigarettes and
pen tony is suspicious asking joe what
he did to her but he says he had nothing
to do with it he convinces sweet
cinnamon roll tony to clean up the place
because he knows this doesn't look great
for him tony reluctantly agrees and
while they're cleaning joe plants tony's
stuff near the bed for potential
blackmail purposes i know they cleaned
but isn't there a lot of dna on the bed
they had sex in that thing there's
probably also a phone log of her call
going to the station but you know who
needs details in a murder mystery film
another finger is found at the murder
scene and it's very squishy
no stiffness
ooh asmr joseph asked the crime lab
technician to change the fingerprint
settings to someone who might have hooks
in their establishment so he says look
for a body piercer and believe it or not
they find a body person's fingerprints
on the puzzle box wow detectiving is
easy the print leads us to stigmata body
piercing and boy oh boy did the writers
try to make body piercing as shocking as
possible it is edgy and grimy and this
guy has a thorn tattoo whips on his wall
how wonderfully stereotypical leon the
piercer knew jay cho he tells joseph
that he was going to sell the puzzle box
to jay but he couldn't afford it so he
stole it leon goes on to say he was
holding the box for someone else someone
that goes by the name the engineer and
that he's just the middleman how many
times are they gonna say engineer in
this scene you tell him the engineer
wants his money or he wants his property
back and he'd still be better off
dealing with me than with the engineer
won't you tell me about the engineer
leon holding for the engineer there's no
way i'm gonna talk to you about the
engineer i'm for the engineer
and the engineer will hunt you also when
i think about threatening monikers the
engineer doesn't really come to mind now
i'm imagining being hunted down by a
computer engineer well this is a lot
let's take a quick ad break because if
you think i watched and did a video on
this thing for free you'd be wrong we'll
continue joseph's story in just a few
seconds
joe stops by his drug dealer and
years-long snitch to stock up on cocaine
his name is bernie and he's a creepy ice
cream truck man great joseph beats him
to tell him more about the engineer and
i'm going to try to briefly reiterate
what is said here but the dialogue in
writing is so haphazard it's really hard
to understand you go downtown buddy
pound your van explain your daily
activities you remember the last time
okay
bernie tells joe a story about a man
named terry who fell in love with one of
the women the engineer quote loans out
terry and this woman run away together
the engineer finds out kidnaps the woman
back and starts sending him back pieces
of her hair and clothing his warnings
eventually terry finds her in his bed
however it isn't all her told you you
shouldn't have asked about the green
ribbon tony feels guilty about wiping
off all the prints at the motel for
joseph and says they should come clean
he believes that joe did not kill the
girl he just wants to do the right thing
joseph asked him where his pen and
cigarettes are then says they're
probably at the crime lab using the
planted evidence as leverage he tells
tony that if he does not keep his secret
he will tell the chief it was him who
was with the girl and that it was his
idea to clean up the scene tony being
new at the precinct is angry and
deflated and leaves suddenly a random
child enters the bar and gives joseph a
vhs tape he decides to use the bar's tv
to play the tape because who cares
what's on it let's just show the entire
public on the tape we see and hear
someone in the ice cream truck getting
beaten with the cato 9 hooks the same
weapon that was at the piercing shop we
then see another dismembered finger held
by a cenobite
we also see bernie slumped over the
steering wheel when joseph tries to show
the tape to the guys down at the
precinct nothing is on it the chief is
concerned that joseph might be feeling
stressed considering he knew some of the
victims and tells him he's required to
make an appointment with the
department's therapist if he wants to
keep working on the case because we have
no sense of time in this movie the very
next scene is him at the therapist no
idea how much time has passed he's just
there james remar as steven spielberg as
the therapist begins to talk to joseph
clocking the stress balls he carries
around he does a little trick for the
doctor and he responds with i bet your
daughter loves that
i just
mostly used to entertain myself oh
masturbatory magic that's a new one
joseph clearly gives no shits about
these victims their corrupted
degenerates come to him his main concern
is finding the child with the missing
fingers who according to forensics is
still alive as he's working he sees
another cenobite passed by the office
bernie is found just like joseph
described which is beginning to look
extremely suspicious since no one else
saw the tape they listened to a voice
message from terry to bernie and get a
lead on where to go oh my god this shaky
cam is driving me nuts who did this i'm
getting some serious twin peaks vibes
from this setting except for when you go
in it's just the cowboy hat club excuse
me i'm looking for a cliche anyone
seen any cliches he finds a man named mr
parmagi who i call mr parmesan and with
cool intention asks
are you the engineer
you flatter me sir these dialogues are
exhausting they're really slow based in
monotone he wants you to play the game
you think this is a goddamn game uh yes
he just told you it was a game get it
together detective as he starts chasing
someone through the woods he sees
cenobites scattered amongst the trees
someone approaches and it's zz top
he then probably gets his ass kicked by
a couple cowboys instead of going to the
hospital joseph demands tony take him
back to the precinct so he can talk to
the therapist they have an impromptu
therapy session joseph gets salty and dr
gregory admits that one of his former
patients also became obsessed with
somebody named the engineer because
client confidentiality doesn't exist in
this universe dr gregory tells joseph
all about him his delusions paranoia and
fixation with the engineer he became so
distressed that he shot himself in his
office
cool he also knows a lot about the
history of the lament configuration they
say it's a window
or a gateway while you know when god
closes a window he opens a gateway to
hell i live in a world of facts oh my
god this noir monologuing is giving me a
stroke he goes home to check on his
little girl and his wife notices he's
pretty beaten up as she begins to clean
him up he reaches out to touch her face
but his hand is a demon hand
they get a call from his mom who is in
the hospital and his wife says she got a
visitor who quote might be an engineer
joseph springs up and cheeses it running
right past his crying child the movie
definitely starts to pick up around this
point we see joseph barreling down this
hallway that's twisting and distorted
passing creepy looking characters on the
way to his mom's room when he gets there
his dad is in the hospital bed and his
mom is knitting in a rocking chair
asking him why he never visits them he
hears a child scream and busts through
the next door once again revealing his
childhood bedroom and some off-putting
teal lighting the door locks behind him
and he can hear his mom screaming on the
other side of the door in a much less
comedic groundhog day like scene joseph
wakes up in his bed and relives the
previous combo he had with his wife back
to the hospital except this time his
parents are missing vanished like from
one of your magic tricks joseph when
they examine his dad's bed it's full of
blood big yikes there's a present for
him on the bedside table a gift of two
fingers and a note that leads him in the
next direction tony shows up yet again
and tells joe he's out of control that
there is no engineer there's no
connection and that he is the one that
knew all of the victims tony insists he
needs help
go to hell okay movie a little bit too
on the nose joseph goes to the address
that was on the note and finds nothing
of interest and it becomes painfully
apparent that this movie is bad at
building suspense he finally comes
across a telescope as he looks through
it he sees tony get murdered by a
cenobite the cenobite is like look what
i got
he gets a call from the engineer himself
the man the myth he tells joseph to go
home oh no that's not supposed to be
here
welcome home detective
this seems like very unethical treatment
doctor joseph tries to hold his
daughter's hand and this happens
ick after that his wife and child break
apart like porcelain and disappear
joseph lets out a scream
[Laughter]
the therapist tells joseph that he ran
fingerprints on one of the fingers they
found and miraculously they found a
match
the child's fingerprint
well it's yours dun dun dun dr gregory
tells him that his file is almost
complete joseph asks if he's the
engineer no you donut there's no
engineer there's only pinhead
i don't know why that line is cracking
me up so much let's take another quick
break and when we return we'll discuss
the thrilling conclusion of hellraiser 5
inferno
pinhead stares at joseph with his big
vacuous eyes and tells him to go home
meaning his childhood home he follows
pinhead through some saloon doors and
there he is again his childhood bedroom
he sees his younger self and follows him
around with a [ __ ] shotgun which
seems weird but joseph seems to be going
through some stuff he enters the kitchen
where he sees his mom serving his young
apparition brownies the entire room
starts shaking and it's very internal
sunshine of the spotless mind but bad
his mom ages and starts haphazardly
swinging a knife at him while his dad
outright attacks him oh good the shaky
cam is back i was just thinking about
how much i missed that nauseating
sensation from when they did it last
time he's basically going through the
house and confronting all of the victims
he was involved with they each tried to
attack him but joseph successfully fends
them off the entire last part of this
movie is pretty good the pacing and tone
feels really off and boring for the
longest time then it gets fairly
interesting with joseph fighting his
quote demons as it were yo this is a
story all about how he is confronted
once more with his young self who is
missing fingers a cenopite approaches
him and reveals him to be
joseph there are a lot of joseph's in
this room i don't understand yeah that
makes both of us pinhead tells him he
hurt many people and thus forged these
chains and joseph is like
i don't know this is the hell you have
created for yourself i will not be
showing some of the end because it's
pretty graphic but it involves being
ripped apart by chains joseph briefly
wakes up thinking he just had a
nightmare but quickly finds out that
what he experienced is looping and this
is his eternal hell
well what can i say that i haven't
already i thought this movie was kind of
a disaster everyone is chewing the
scenery the stereotypes are on full
display and there are times i can't tell
if the movie is being sloppy or doing
something weird on purpose it's not a
good enough film to distinguish between
the two it's also a prime example of
telling instead of showing the first
hellraiser did a fantastic job of
showing us what the story was about
subsequent hellraisers seem to lay
things on pretty thick with a lot of
explanatory dialogue and i'm not always
against that in a film or story
sometimes more exposition can clarify
parts of the plot but this was pretty
bad i also couldn't believe how few
[ __ ] i gave about any of these
characters especially the lead strangely
i did have an appreciation for craig
sheffer's over-the-top acting and these
dramatic mugs he pulled throughout the
film that would work well in a
hard-boiled cop movie except this was
mashed with a horror movie and the film
never really found a good balance for me
i will say that i did like some of the
eerie atmospheres especially towards the
end of the movie but most of the time
things happen with very little payoff
and like the majority of hellraiser
sequels pinhead himself seems to be an
afterthought my biggest grievance with
this film is the story the continual
references to innocence lost forging the
chains you wear in life and creating
your own personal hell are predictable
and trite it's also more padded than my
push-up bra full of side stories and
characters that don't go anywhere the
cowboy club the talk about the engineer
it all just seems shoehorned in for the
sake of extra story the engineer's stuff
though i'm sure is meant to be more
symbolic than anything another part of
joseph's personal hell is honestly a
bunch of nothing that i didn't care one
iota for that being said after watching
all 10 hellraiser movies this one isn't
the worst it at least adheres to the
themes and we get to see cenobites
fairly often but not being the worst
isn't exactly a glowing review nobody
wants to be called mediocre at best if
you have any thoughts on this movie or
the series as a whole please leave a
comment i would absolutely love to hear
all of your burning hot pinhead takes
until next time
stay spooky
hey everyone thanks for watching my
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always i will see you in the next one