Hey everybody. Today on the show it's Ask a milkmaid. Cause for some reason I decided
to put braids on top of my head today. And for the guy who commented a couple of weeks
ago that I was wearing too much makeup, well, these foundation free black heads are for
you buddy. Your questions, after the intro.
So to kick things off I'm going to read some of the comments from last week's video 'Are
Hookups Ruining Dating?' because I wanted to know from you, yes you, what you thought
about this idea that the hookup culture is somehow eroding our collective ability to
maintain long-term romantic relationships. At Tonya Morris said, 'Body integrity. I have
a 13 year old daughter,' bless you, 'and body integrity is a topic we speak of when discussing
boys and her peers. I am one of those moms that doesn't allow her very young and impressionable
daughter access to social media. Her friendships are formed through her hobbies and with peers
that share the same interest. Idle minds....hook up.' At Scott Weber or Veber? 'Cristen when
your friends hook up do you think it takes the romance out of the relationship? I always
notice that the relationships where people hooked up, always seem to end.' Honestly I
think a lot of times when my friends are hooking up they aren't really even looking for romance.
Hookups are often hookups and you need to be honest with yourself about hooking up because
it can be challenging to reverse engineer a dating relationship for the long-term out
of a hookup scenario. At Amy O made a good point saying, 'The hookup culture has always
been there, it's just not a secret anymore.' And then @Martin Vasquez summed it up very
well. 'Lack of education is the problem with everything in my opinion.' Martin Vasquez,
knowledge is power. So for this week's Ask Cristen, @Ines Jakovljevic, am I even close
with the last name pronunciation? She wants to know, 'Cristen', hello, 'I wanted to ask
you if you could do a podcast/video on aromantics. I never see anyone talking about it and it's
not the same as asexual people who do get more attention and recognition lately which
is great. I have many people and areas in my life that I love and am passionate about
and I have a strong sense of self. I am happy. But I have never felt the need for a relationship,
even thought I feel physical attraction. I would love to see people talk more about aromantics!'
So guess what Ines? Your wish is coming true. So what is Ines talking about? Aromantics
are not necessarily asexual just as asexual identified people are not necessarily aromantic.
Asexual people who might not be interested in sex often do get into long term relationships
some even get married, and of the statistics that I found when I was researching asexuality
a while ago for the HowStuffWorks.com article 'How Asexuality Works', only 17-18% of asexual
identified people also identify as aromantic. So specifically what aromantic means is really
just not being that interested in romance. There are also grey areas within aromantics
of people who might feel romantic compulsions but actively resist it, people who have been
romantic in the past and aren't in the present, for simplicity's sake it's simply a lack of
wanting to forge romantic relationships but as Ines points out that doesn't mean that
physical attraction might not be involved from time to time. And for language nerds
out there, aromantics refer to friend crushes as 'squishes'. Makes me think of squishing
a marshmallow. Squish. Now if this sounds bizarre to you, this idea that you wouldn't
want to fall in love, wouldn't want to necessarily get involved in a romantic relationship, well
it doesn't necessarily mean that something is wrong with people who are aromantic or
asexual, it simply means that they see the world through a different lens than you and
I do. So I'd love to hear from other people who also identify as aromantic or who are
single by choice, who might like going out dating, might like going out and hooking up
but have no desire for a relationship. I want to hear from everybody else, questions that
you have for me. Next week is Halloween. So if you have any spooky supernatural, what
should I dress up as, kinds of questions, I'll be your ghostbuster. See you next week
and stay terrific.