(LOGO)
Hellooo, everybody!
Ever look at an author's social media presence and think, ‘What the fuck are you doing?’
I know I do. Authors may be thoughtful and creative, but when it comes to
business sense, or even common sense, sometimes we're lacking. Braining is hard. Per your request,
I'm breaking down the ten biggest mistakes authors make to derail their writing careers. You asked
for bitching, and you're gonna get it. Number One (1): Public pity parties. Do you think that you're
the worst writer in the world? That your plot is generic and boring? Then you should totally write
about it on your Facebook page, for all your potential readers to see, that'll really get
‘em interested in your book. Did you get rejected by another agent? You should definitely complain
about it on Twitter. That way when future agents look you up, they'll have confirmation that you've
been rejected multiple times, and that they're just your backups. Look, the writing industry is
hard and sometimes it's gonna hurt your feelings. The thing is, no one gives a shit. And worse,
all these public meltdowns are only going to encourage agents, readers, and publishers to
keep far, far away. Number Two (2): No industry research. You've written a book, congratulations.
How are you gonna sell it? Oh, you have no idea? Of course you don't. After all, researching the
environment in which you plan to grow a fruitful career would be the intelligent thing to do. Guys,
I understand that business is boring. Trust me. I majored in the stuff, it's the worst. But writing
on its own isn't going to support you. You have to sell what you write, for money. And if you plan to
have a future in this industry, you need to learn about it, bottom line. What are you expecting,
that you just write a book, post it online, and boom, bestseller? Oh, that is what you're
expecting. Wow. Number Three (3): Designing your own book cover. Writers are poor. We try to save
money wherever we can. But the cover is not the place to skim. You know the phrase ‘Don't judge
a book by its cover’ it exists because everyone judges books by their covers. Do you know how many
books get passed over because the cover is trash? Fucking millions, and knowledge of clip art does
not make you remotely qualified to produce your book’s number one marketing tool. Number Four (4):
Ranting about bad reviews. Bad reviews suck. Sometimes they're founded in logical criticism.
Sometimes they're just really mean. It's easy to be hurt by reviews. And of course you'll want to
rant, so rant away, to a friend, not to the entire internet! I've seen angry rants on fan
pages. There are authors who get into arguments with reviewers on blogs. I've heard of tearful
rants on YouTube, Instagram, and Snapchat. I've even seen an author pin a tweet complaining about
their bad reviews to the top of their Twitter feed. What are you doing? It's normal to be
pissed about bad reviews, but oh my God, you are fucking yourself so hard. One, you're looking real
immature right now. And two, you're just bringing more attention to your bad reviews. No one is
sympathizing with you. They're just checking out all those one star ratings now. Congratulations,
you just promoted your trolls. Genius. Number Five (5): No critique partners or beta readers. A lot
of people are scared to enlist beta readers or CPs because they think someone might steal their book.
Sweet summer child, no one wants to steal your book, it's not good. But that's the entire point
of enlisting beta readers, because your book isn't good. No book is good in the beta stage. That's
why you ask people to help you improve it. So instead of following through with this vital step,
you publish your book, and gasp! ‘What's with all these one star reviews? Oh my God, is my book
bad?’ Yeah, you probably would have known about that ahead of time if you had people actually
read it, you fucking idiot. On a related note. Number Six (6): No editor. Guys, I don't care
if your mom tells you, you're the best writer in the world. She's lying. She also said you are the
cutest baby in the world, I've got bad news about that one too. Hire an editor! Let a professional
help you. Even if you're a great storyteller, even if your grammar is impeccable. There is absolutely
no way you're going to catch every fault in your novel. You've read it a thousand times, and that
warps your perception, you are too close to your work. And this isn't just a self publishing issue.
Traditional publishers are skimping on this too. Don't let ‘em skimp people. Get your shit edited,
thoroughly. Number Seven (7): Waiting to market until after your book is released. ‘All right,
my books out, how do I start building an author platform and an audience. You don't, it's all
over, you screwed yourself. Your book release is the biggest promotional event at your disposal,
which means you need to market it. Get people hyped for the release, not after the release. It's
infinitely harder to start marketing a book after it's already out. Most people don't buy books
they've never heard of, by authors they've never heard of. And if they do give an unknown a chance,
the first thing they're gonna do is check the reviews. Oh, there aren't any, that's a bad sign,
onto the next. The whole point of hyping a book release is to avoid this situation in the first
place. If you're saving the marketing until after the release, you've got one hell of an
uphill climb ahead of you. Number Eight (8) Not living your life. Obviously there's some shit
we're never gonna experience, like killing a werewolf or riding a Pegasus.
(Song playing: ‘The Sound of Silence’) “Hello darkness my old friend.”
But most stories involve a lot of everyday shit, like friendship or dating.
And it helps to have some experience in order to write this convincingly.
If you're writing an epic love story and you've never so much as held someone's hand,
trust me, we can tell. If you're writing about a vagina and you've never seen one, or even your
own, trust me, we can tell. That was an oddly specific example, but oh my god people that is
not how hymens work, stop writing it like that. I'm not saying you have to fuck a bear in order to
write your shifter erotica. Mostly because I don't want to get sued. I'm just saying that cooping
yourself up for the rest of your life isn't going to do your creativity any favors. Number Nine (9)
Rushing your release. You don't have to spend ten years on your novel, but you should probably
spend more than ten weeks on it. This is a book not a hot pocket. You can't just toss it in the
microwave for a couple of minutes and call it a day. Writing a book is hard and time consuming,
and there are a lot of necessary steps in order to produce quality. But you knew that going into
this. If you want a job that’s quick and painless, then don't become a writer because trust me, your
readers can tell when you’ve rushed your book, because it sucks. And Number Ten (10): No social
media presence. I know, social media is the devil. But you're gonna have to enter this decade at some
point. The rest of us are doing great. Somewhat recently I read a book by a lesser known author,
and really enjoyed it. So much so that I decided to contact the author about possibly collaborating
on a discussion for my channel. Then I looked her up, and she had no Twitter, no Facebook,
nothing! She didn't even have an email contact on her website. What year is this? When you
neglect social media, not only are you making it impossible to market yourself in today's industry,
but you're also losing out on a lot of opportunities. If you wanna be barely
scraping by forever, you found the perfect way to do it. So that's all I got for you. If you’re a
masochist who hopes to never make an income off their writing, well have I got a list for you.
If you're literally anyone else, then maybe don't do these things, and you'll probably be okay. Let
me know what other writing and reading related topics you'd like me to bitch about, I'm always
down. Don't forget to subscribe to my channel. I post new videos on Wednesdays. And if you wanna
be alerted as SOON as I upload, ring that bell. (Singing) I'm always pointing to the wrong fucking
side. It's over here. Ringing a ding-ding, oh ring that bell, and you ring that bell, and ring that
bell, and I'm singing this song, and it's still going on. My dark fantasy novel The Savior's
Champion is available in ebook and hardback. Join Tobias on his epic, bloody, romantic adventure.
All the links are listed below. Click it, you won't regret it. And be sure to follow me on
social media. I'm on Instagram, Tumblr, Facebook and of course you can tweet me @JennaMoreci! Bye!