ladies my name is jacksepticeye and
welcome back to imagine life times I
played this once before I got very
sexually attracted to my teacher god
this time I'm gonna make sure that I
grow right I'm not gonna be sexually
attracted to my teacher
hopefully nah it's a pen I don't know if
she looks choose your first words I can
get a female narration or a male
narration I did not realize that last
time pearly there's a bunch of endings
in the game now that the developer
messaged me again and said hey go ahead
try and get them also I want to see if I
can get something different in the last
minute let's do subtitles on American
undies
hell yeah this is where people get
[ __ ] up this is where when later on in
life when you're sitting in a bar you're
drinking yourself stupid to think they
should chose the toy car instead of the
unicorn when I was a kid
unicorn it's that simple your life is
[ __ ] from the get-go
just because dad threw you into a
sandbox instead of a bed of nails on
your face it's just my face dude
stop making fun of it every time I'd
like to think that my face is pretty
decent [ __ ] someone's growing up and
someone's throwing up as well I can't
remember what I tape in the last video I
have a feeling I'm making a lot of the
same jokes I am going to choose the
shoes because I'm going to run away from
my problems
thank you I I thought very long and hard
wood there she is
mrs. Robbins do I want her to be my
crush no go chew one of my favorite
times a year summertime sun is shining
high it's bright and it's warm let's go
good for you but gaming last time right
because I'm an I'm a heck and gamer as
everybody knows top 10 gamers in the
world right now do I want do I want to
go drinking do I want to go swipe in do
I want to go eating do I want to go
nothing Oh gross waiting
I'm choosing my life dude let's go swipe
it why don't you do something productive
instead why don't you do something less
judgmental all right here we go
this is where it's all gonna kick off
choose a college major what do I want to
major in accounting architecture
astronomy what is cool mathematics there
is no greater subversion of
jacksepticeye than math [ __ ] hated
I'm terrible at it people like what
seven plus two and I'm like pretty sure
it's nine but let me get out the
calculator congratulations
time flies doesn't it it sure does time
flies and so do hats apparently okay I'm
a math whiz that is good at swiping so
I'm gonna go out into the world and I'm
gonna make a life in my soul okay okay I
completely forget what I did last time I
don't want to [ __ ] [ __ ] get money you
know you lived a life of a yachtsman buy
a couple of boats a few houses dotted
around the world we just make an empire
for myself and let the drug cartel flow
that's the life that I'm imagining for
this guy career path is recommended well
I'm not gonna do that then let's travel
a bit see the world I have no money but
at least I'll be able to broaden my mind
travels thank you I might actually is it
really gonna travel for this long what
oh oh I can speed it up oh oh let the
money flow oh this is the life I'm
making memories 90% of my memories are
money and planes and Polaroids
contemplating the meaning of life I know
what the meaning of life is it's money
baby
running out of money returning home oh
[ __ ]
I think I explored the entire planet
just called me Magellan are you ready to
make some real decisions now how dare
you [ __ ] judge me make some real
decisions those were real decisions and
you see all those Polaroids of me Becky
Jim antha juice suffered like a pitting
by a snake in China and almost died
all right what career choose your search
method do I want to search for someone's
hand and like implanted device and the
wrist that lets me get the job newspaper
internet network let's network good old
comunicados good all human touch get in
rub shoulders rub Winkies together see
that was easy
throughs career pie charts shaking hands
or hardcore mess I think you made the
right choice
thank you I think so too I love how the
contract has made it it really feels
like most contracts in the world are
probably made like that like just uh
whatever throw these numbers and that
numbers and this number and then we'll
negotiate it later
my name is what this [ __ ] again
all right don't don't distract me Jim
answer all right oh wait 9 8 7 95 or ok
good good good good good
cut damn it the cores gonna call the job
is doing I can repeat it if I want but
it was already mind-numbing and
soul-crushing enough for one venture
today again alright let's get into the
partner path available I am going for
anyway how is your sex life I don't know
yet I'm about to find out choose your
preferences I will look for a female
yeah sure shortly short short short
short may ah
you could go perfect with you yes yes
sure why not I'm I'm very picky as you
can see I don't know if the partner is
right for me but I'm gonna try and find
love is something that you really should
strive for and search for somebody who's
perfect for you I'm not just settle for
any old person you know did it did I
find true love
what faceless person do I want to spend
the rest of my life with
let's go with the Jim answer Evelyn oh
my god I'm dating Evelyn in real life
it's meant to be it's perfect I told you
true love does exist choose your type of
date spend the entire thing in the
bathroom poopins the insulated candle
throw your partner on the fire or ship a
light bulb up your ass who choose your
next move pinkie swear nuclear warfare
or bogey down escape make it official or
a one-time thing okay we make it
official why not so how did you meet you
know it was just in the stairs we were
destined from birth to eventually run
across one another and out there in the
wild world we just found each other a
Spartan and clicked and love is real I
didn't spend 15 minutes on my phone just
swiping on everybody and hoping that
anybody said yeah oh my good the game
says choose your housing type oh that's
nice oh hell yeah that's dope no I want
an I want a proper the house for myself
I've worked hard I could buy an entire
apartment just for me and every floor
can be a different video game I can get
a small apartment a cozy cottage and
then this one it's like financially
unattainable you're too poor for this
house please pass go and do not collect
$200 Oh choose a pet yes let's go to cat
for the choose a dog last time I can't
remember but now we actually have a cat
since last time I played this Evelyn has
moved in and I actually have a cat now
so this is exactly my life I'm proud of
you you've really got your life together
I do thank you [ __ ] Lee someone says
it they don't feel like a complete total
failure and [ __ ]
oh gee thank you so very very much
should we make baby make tiny total man
all right how would you like to do this
oh I thought you meant the sex I was
gonna say upside down helicopter style I
know this is the injection of sperm into
the egg whatever but I really thought we
were going to be a Food Technologists
again what to choose a delivery message
ah inject the baby into the food and
then eat the food and that's how you
make a baby every time I ask my parents
about it they were just like shrug it
off at dinnertime and I was like I get
it it's in the food okay
wait hold on our baby's loading Oh God
am I in charge of these 4 plus 2 6 oh
okay thank God oh I actually have to rub
them into them oh holy [ __ ] I didn't
know I have to do math what is death
inevitable like thanos wait did I
actually pick the wrong one what is love
destiny or chemistry come on they love
is pure and eternal what is the universe
conceivable what hold on no um I keep
[ __ ] until a baby comes out what I
was born I didn't have to do math to get
into the egg I was just the most
obnoxious one and all my fellow sperms
died in front of me what is death
inevitable okay I think I just picked
the wrong one and mix up a and B last
night it's very hard life is tricky no
letters just come at you what is
confusing this question
here we go oh we will make tiny toddler
tiny little Jack man what is
significance you you're significant
sorry you're not significant the game
just told you I'm sorry that I had to
break it to you this way
what is time ticking what is life random
what does money required there we go
okay money's not everything what is the
universe meaningless what code I just
have to makes extensional crisis and I'm
not even born yet but here we go baby
that's how powerful my sperm is it just
takes one chance just takes one sperm to
get through and that's it Oh God
congratulations you have a purpose now
[Music]
yes I'm glad that I bought a house and
had a baby and finally my life has
meaning before that I was just drifting
through life not only the [ __ ] I was
gonna do can I go back to my partner
just to feel like maybe was just making
a one-time thing
yeah and just really not that into you
[Music]
well but I died what on earth are you
looking for a purpose a word of advice
that perfect opportunity does not exist
Oh No
hey [ __ ] it up am i dead oh no oh no
opportunity comes and goes did I die
[ __ ] no who's your favorite
parent uh neither II the word sweetie
so I went back to my love life I tried
to make it happen again and I try to
just deny everybody except Evelyn and
then it was just like now you're dead
I'm sorry comes at you hard and fast
that's where you're looking down at my
phone swiping left on tinder and then
suddenly a boss hit me all right let's
go again because now I can hit quick
play I think
choose the shuffle your choice Oh God I
was born with a foot fetish already [ __ ]
it's a third nipple Karen and I kindly
asked you not to stare all right [ __ ]
this I'm going to be a plane when I grow
up let me try to take off oh I'm doing
so much traveling I'm the best at
traveling the world I'm the best at
making memories have so many more
memories than you do you suck at this
they're all in here in the brain that's
where the memory stay but I have
pictures of them just in case I forget
you never know what life with Russia
maybe I'll get to mention down here
somewhere
oh I could be a video producer an
aircraft engineer all of a sudden it
struck you yes
what struck me life is not fair this
could have happened to anyone did I get
hit by lightning and died oh I'm just
dust in the wind
we are simply the product of chance oh
god oh god I'm having an existential
nightmare it's all over
names trying to put my life together and
the best way possible and then I just
died
left right it does not matter there's
just one road for all of us and it's
death and being reborn again it's just a
cycle
it just happens over and over again
we're born to die we're lambs fit for
slaughter
none of it matters god is dead existence
is futile and pain and suffering oh [ __ ]
oh look at me yeah shuffle those cards
baby give me a good childhood no
parental issues no parental issues that
seems pretty good all right I'm going to
the film industry this time I'm gonna
aim big and be in a blockbuster movie
and if I don't hit the stairs then maybe
I'll go into hauling or something what
can I be
what's my job an actor or an office
employee an actor hell yeah I think you
made the right choice we're gonna be on
the big screen
since the [ __ ] job again this is not
acting oh this must be a role this must
be the first movie that I mean big-time
Hollywood movie can I afford the big
house now the big mansion boy modern
villa I made the right choice thank you
do you I can't watch this I've got the
force brain calories I can burn through
in a day where's my ceiling dirty I'm
gonna go with the cactus all right
they're easy to take care of and
anything is a dildo if you're brave
enough you keep asking me what size TV
everyone and of course I'm gonna pick
the extra extra-large one because I'm a
gamer and I need to see all those pixels
cue LED TV 4k resolution with sizes of
up to 82 inches not very immersive
nicely done thank you
the choose the intellectual date you
want to go to the National Museum of
History and I'm gonna teach my partner
all about nematodes well play do I got
game or do I got game we're gonna make
it official because I don't really know
[Music]
what's today just get rejected by
Hillary Hillary [ __ ] you heard the
slit at the top of the penis okay Jeana
it was meant to be love is real we are
going to adopt a child this time I am
going to go down the line up and make my
favorite baby wait
unwanted dissolve unknown abandoned
orphaned oh Jesus
this is horrible I'm basically in a baby
factory and I'm just picking my favorite
one Wow okay you [ __ ] judge me
congratulations you have a purpose now
hell yeah I just
Amazon primed my baby to my house Alexa
deliver baby what did she say that any
of your Alexis go off Oh black black as
the night that'd be a cool wedding to go
to if everyone saw some black funeral
and marriage at the same time choose the
size of cake well I love cake so I
hereby declare you partners in life
thank you or this is very morbid look
who I'm committing a crime I went back
to get to do my job again and somebody
Alan came in two months
hey kid you wanna make some drugs choose
the severity of your crimes
Oh massive huge crime I want to be a war
criminal this is going incredibly well I
don't know what I just did
oh my looks like your past Cana - oh
[ __ ] I got shot what skin so intense Oh
what's in the box oh don't enemy it's
Gina's head do you have any regrets
I'm several let's go back that was birth
it is for most of us she was back at the
beginning again ah Dix well that was
eventful
I I grew up I II I adopted a baby
I committed horrific crimes against
humanity and got murdered for them
what'd he say think I did was a piece of
someone held me in that box
oh god what is it what if it was my baby
Skippy's ruthless oh my god what the
[ __ ] oh I could see which endings I get
an imagined ending will you make this
world great again do you know what time
it is there's enough ever enough have
you been counting your blessings so I
got the Lightning ending you were struck
by lightning just random chance couldn't
happen to anybody watch yourself don't
wear metal hats picky ending you
perished in pursuit of perfection
notorious ending you crossed the line
see if you can do better than me
I lived quite a hell of a life I leave a
link in the description for the game
down below so tweet me some screenshots
of whatever sort of hijinks you get into
I want to know how I get the better
world ending I want to go for that next
time and see if I can really change it
up and try and get all the endings to
the game but right now I'm very happy
that I became a crime daddy you can also
click the link in the description to go
to the previous video I made on this
game to see some more extra stuff of me
trying to fall in love with my teacher
also don't forget to leave a like on the
video and don't forget to subscribe as
well if you're new here because we
upload videos
every single day and it's a fun time but
until next time I am going to be a big
brain baby and save bye-bye
[Music]
[Applause]
[Music]
[Applause]
see a dancin baby it's pretty cool