Incredible energy guys, right out of the gate.
I appreciate your appreciation for me.
It was weird cause none of you know anything about me.
Which makes this whole thing seem a little fake
if I'm gonna be real.
(laughing)
I'm from Kansas originally
if you couldn't tell by my hair part.
It's weird being from a terrible place.
No cause a lot of people
have absurd amounts of pride in where they're from.
I'm from one of those few places,
where everyone is just like,
it pretty much sucks here.
So, I'm from one of those states
where you just try and convince yourself
that it's slightly better than the shittier state
next to you.
Yeah it sucks I'm from Kansas,
but at least we're not from Missouri.
You know they sleep with their ugly cousin in Missouri so.
We have standards.
And it just keeps trickling down.
Missouri's doing the same thing,
man it sucks here.
I'm just glad we're not Arkansas.
Arkansas hears that, they're a little offended
but they keep it going.
"Man it sucks in Little Rock."
"I'm just glad we're not in Mississippi."
And obviously down in Mississippi they're like,
"We do not know geography next question please."
(laughing)
They are not smart in Mississippi.
But it's better than some places.
My biggest pet peeve in the world,
is when people are from terrible places,
they just have strange amounts of pride
for no explanation.
I have a buddy who's from Ohio,
anyone here from Ohio?
Good.
(laughing)
I would've left immediately.
They brag about the weirdest things,
I live in Los Angeles they're like,
"Dude if you ever get the chance
you really gotta check out the music scene in Columbus."
The fuck are you talking about?
I'm not going to Ohio.
The state's decaying what are you?
You're Michigan's Mexico I'm not going there.
(laughing)
I could be wrong,
maybe Michigan is Ohio's Canada,
either way terrible.
(laughing)
There's some places where people have
bizarre amounts of pride,
like Texas that's one of those places I just don't get.
Everyone from Texas universally like,
"Woo Texas it's the best!"
And then the rest of us are like,
no we're good.
We're cool with that.
It's always strange in LA.
People in Texas don't like coming out here.
Usually the people you meet from Texas in LA
are from Austin.
Everywhere else they're like,
"I ain't going out there man,
I'm gonna get gay and AIDS."
Wait what the, both?
(laughing)
You're gonna get both?
"I'm from Dallas."
Oh okay, that makes sense then.
Yeah they would give it to you that's true.
Soon as you're off the plane
just immediately just done.
People from Boston are by far the worst.
I know good people from Boston
but people from Boston are out of their minds.
Oh Boston greatest city in the world.
By far!
Yeah maybe in 1790.
(laughing)
We have San Diego now.
It's way better there.
I have a buddy who's from the Boston area
no matter what we're doing or where we're doing it,
he's always trying to convince you
it'd be better if you were doing it in Boston.
So annoying.
We had a bachelor party in Vegas.
That's where you go.
We're hanging out drinking.
One guy gets sick he goes,
"Bro that's the fucking problem with Vegas,
people here don't know how to party."
They don't know how to party in Las Vegas?
"Bro if we were back in Wooster right now,
we'd all be doing hot hardies of crystal meth
behind a burned down Arby's."
I was like that does sound better actually.