Hey, check out this new shirt I just got made.
Biggie Smaaalls!
Pretty sick shirt, right?
Looks awesome. [Hila]: Who is that?
What?! Hila?
Are you serious? You don't know who Biggie Smalls is?
He's like my musical idol, man.
"Big Poppa"? "Juicy"? "Hypnotize"?
"Life After Death"? "Ready to Die"?
He's like a musical god, dude.
Let me show— let me show you a little bit about Biggie, here.
Notorious B.I.G. — "Juicy". This is one of my favorite songs. This is a CLASSIC!
What? What is this?
MattyB?
♪ Yeah ♪
- Juicy?
♪ This song is dedicated ♪
♪ to every doubter that told me I'd never amount to nothin' ♪
♪ To all the people who put me down and made fun of me, when I was just trying to go— [Hila]: This is Biggie?
[Ethan Klein Cough™]
[rasping] What, no, I—
No...
♪ —put me down and made fun of me, when I was just tryin' to go after something that I really wanted ♪
[newborn bird rasp]
[rasping]
♪ And everybody with a dream, y'know what I'm saying? ♪
♪ Hah, s'all good, baby, bay-bee ♪
[overriding distortion]
[Hila]: You like this shit, Ethan?
[rasping] No...
It wasn't supposed to be like this!
[raspy gagging and distortion]
[Hila]: This is your idol?
- How could they do this? No.
♪ Learning what I can do, spittin' 'til after dark ♪
[distortion]
[Hila]: He's like 8.
[slowed down] Noooo...
[croaks]
[slowed-down croaking]
[slowed down Ethan Klein Cough™]
Noooo
♪ Celebratin' every day, 'cause the fans made it—
[overriding distortion] [Ethan dying]
[music fades]
[ringing in ears]
[Ethan exhaling deeply]
What happened?
Why am I on the floor?
What happened, dude?
Did I fuckin' stroke out? What happened, Hila?
[Hila]: I don't know. You... you put on your idol.
- What is this? What is this?
[MattyB rap plays while Ethan gags]
Stop it.
This is not right.
This is... [sniffs]
This is sacrilege, Hila.
This is not right! This isn't Biggie!
Let's go dude. Come on!
[Hila]: What, right now?
- We don't have time, dude!
[hand smacks against wall]
[Ethan Klein Cough ™]
[Ethan screams incomprehensibly]
Juicy? Who gave him the rights to do Juicy?
I mean was it Biggie's estate? Was it Puff Daddy? I mean ...
who - who is gonna
get the blame for this?
[Hila]: It would be better to stop talking about it.
Hila!
What do you want me to do about -
when someone perverts something that you love?
It's like fucking ass cancer. The doctor puts a finger in your ass, and you fucking—
First of all, he's putting a finger in your ass; that's hard enough, okay?
And then he finds a lump and he says "You've got ass cancer and I got to put
my finger in your ass,
you know, every week until you fucking die." Because that's what I feel like
MattyB is doing to "Juicy".
Does that make sense?
[indistinct chatter]
Where are we?
[Hila]: We're in Jerusalem.
- Oh, okay, right.
Apparently this is the holiest place in Israel. I came to make a prayer.
To be honest, guys, this is a wall you know?
Just a wall.
Like, it doesn't even look different than the other walls.
For example, I can't even tell if - like this wall, this wall is a good wall
this is the good wall, that apparently is not, it's an OK wall.
Yeah, it's nice, you know? It's a pretty nice wall.
Frankly, I don't get it.
Why didn't you bring out the fucking orange hats, Hila?
Where's our orange hats, dude? What if we get separated?
[Hila]: What do you do now?
- I gotta— I'm gonna touch the wall and see if I can
get some of its magic, get a prayer. I got one big prayer. This all I need God.
Also, cover your fucking shoulders you slut.
You whore. Cover your hair whore, you're married!
[Notorious B.I.G. — You're Nobody (Til Somebody Kills You)] ♪ Yea though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death ♪
♪ I will fear no evil — for you are with me ♪
♪ Your rod and your staff, they comfort me ♪
♪ You prepare a table for me, in the presence of my enemies ♪
♪ You anoint my head with oil, my cup overflows ♪
♪ Surely goodness and love will follow me — all the days of my life ♪
♪ And I will dwell in the house of the Lord, forever ♪
♪ Niggas in my faction don't like asking questions ♪
♪ Strictly gun-testing, coke-measuring ♪
♪ Giving pleasure in the Benz-ito ♪
♪ Hitting fannies, spending chips at Manny's ♪
♪ Hope you creeps got receipts, my peeps get dirty like cleats ♪
♪ Run up in your crib, wrap you in your Polo sheets ♪
♪ 6 up in your wig-piece, nigga decease ♪
♪ Mwah, may you rest in peace ♪
[door shuts]
[Hila]: What a waste of time.
This whole day. Why did we go to Jerusalem?
- I don't know dude; I'm sorry, man.
I just felt like, maybe,
you know, there was something I could do about my favorite song being shit on by a little fucking kid.
Maybe I lost my mind a little bit, okay?
I don't know.
I guess I'll just leave a comment about how he's gonna overdose
on prescription drugs by the age of twenty.
[typing]
Call him a lil', little bitch
What?!
"Notorious B.I.G", "this video's no longer available due to copyright claims by Notorious B.I.G."?!
He listened! [in background] ♪ Notorious B.I.G. — Juicy ♪
He listened! I was - I was praying to Biggie dude not God.
♪ It was all a dream, I used to read 'Word Up!' magazine ♪
♪ Salt-n-Pepa and Heavy D up in the limousine ♪
♪ Hangin' pictures on my wall ♪ [Ethan exhales]
♪ Every Saturday 'Rap Attack', Mr. Magic, Marley Marl ♪
[outro] [bells ringing]
An unoriginal...
[trumpet]
hee-hee productions. (And I'm ready to crunch)