Translator: Lena Clemente Reviewer: Denise RQ
What an honor to be standing here, in this red circle at the age of 37.
I'm quite aware that I'm approaching 40 very fast.
So maybe it's best if I take you back, for a little while.
So at the age of eight,
my teacher in school said in front of the class and the parents
that I was thick, and I wouldn't go very far.
I cannot remember if I cried that day;
what I remember very well
was that I was very determined to prove to everyone, especially my parents
that maybe I am what they call 'different, ' but I am not thick.
So whilst I was in my school years, I was a very well-behaved girl.
I was doing ballet. I wasn't raising my voice to my parents,
I was doing OK with my homework.
Until one day I saw Alice Cooper on TV.
That's when things started going downhill.
My mum was so quick to ask my dad, "Please turn off the TV now!"
But it was too late.
I was into rock music, gradually into metal.
Around 1995, I was about 16 then,
there was a pilot in my high school.
It was the very first time I sat in front of a computer.
There was a little turtle that I could command.
It would go up, down, right, left,
with circles, with lines, squares, anything I wanted it to do.
So I went back home that day,
and I asked for a computer as my Christmas present.
Can you guess the answer?
A big, fat, "No."
There was no discussion about it.
So I was already 16, and I knew what I wanted to do.
It was something related to computers.
But I was a Greek girl, I was going to be a Greek woman.
I wasn't allowed to do any of that.
I had to get married very young, have children as soon as possible,
then I would need to work in the public sector, 9 a.m. to 1 p.m.
That gives enough time to go back home, cook dinner, look after the children
until the Greek husband comes back.
Because you need to respect the husband, you must be obliged to the husband.
He's working hard. He brings in the money.
So in September 2000, I packed three bags and I moved to the UK.
I think for a thick person I did really well,
all by myself, to fly all the way to the halls of residence.
I started my degree in computing.
And, oh, I forgot to say, I had a boyfriend.
Yes, I had a boyfriend.
He was Greek.
I tried my best to stay with my own kind.
But family frictions were very, very evident back then
because I was seeing someone while I was abroad,
doing a degree I wasn't allowed to do, and no ring on my finger.
So at the age of 24, I had to get engaged.
Then, at the age of 27, I had to get married.
By then, I had a degree in Computing, a PGCE,
I had signed up for a Doctorate in Education.
So far, nobody, had said that I was thick.
So I was kind of motivated to carry on with my studies and my career.
Later on, I got my Doctorate in Education.
I had this title of Doctor that everybody aspires to.
At the same time, I had two kids, and then, I got divorced.
You can imagine why, layers of reasons, arguments, jealousy, affairs...
So I was now a single mum, with two boys, a good academic career.
My parents didn't know anything about it.
So six months down the line,
I decided to tell them that there had been a break-up,
we had gone different ways in our lives.
My mom's first response was,
"Well, what did you expect?
You've got an attitude, a career. You thought that was going to last?"
I was absolutely speechless.
My own mum! When she knew I was sad and all that.
So I was now a single mum, I lost many friends during this phase.
Because you're now a single woman.
They bypass your sadness.
They bypass what you've been through.
They bypass what you've achieved.
You're a single woman.
Do you know what single women do?
They steal boyfriends.
They steal husbands.
Stay away from single women.
At the same time, I met some new people, some new friends
who were more close to me, more like me.
But where does this story leave us?
What did I gain from that? What can you gain from that?
I wonder often where did I go wrong? Or where did my parents go wrong?
Nobody went wrong. Nobody meant to hurt anyone.
I just saw the world in a different way from the way my parents raised me.
I saw the world in a different way
from a culture I was living in, from a religion that I was living in.
So I just went away, I tried to find my own path, follow my own dreams.
If you take society as an example,
such an approach happens in every aspect of our society.
Take STEM for example - science, technology, engineering, mathematics.
How many women we've got working there?
Especially up in leadership roles, there are very, very few women.
You sit among a group of men, you try to share your opinion.
The first response you get is, "Well, you've got attitude."
We should feel comfortable sharing our opinions among any group of people.
We should feel comfortable making jokes.
We should feel comfortable wearing whatever we like
without feeling like the person next to us will be taking bets about my bra size.
How do we change though, those attitudes?
How can you sit next to someone and expect respect,
expect someone who can look at you
straight into your eyes not straight into your shirt?
Step by step, little by little, educate yourselves,
then educate our children.
We need to accept that we're all biased.
We need to accept we all come from different backgrounds,
and that cultural background that we've been living in
sculpts and shapes our identities.
We need to stop criticizing the person who sits next to us.
We need to try more to listen
to what they are trying to say rather than how they say it.
We need to accept that we're all biased.
Then slowly, step by step,
we could change society in the future.
I am a geek.
I can sit in front of a computer, write thousands and thousands of lines of code.
I'm also a woman.
I can put on some make-up, a nice dress, I can go out, I can flirt.
I'm a mother. I care for my children. I'm a friend. I'm a loyal friend.
I'm also a human. Above all, I am a human.
I have ambitions, I have dreams.
Believe. Be you.
Always, always, believe that you can change the world.
Thank you.
(Applause)