DUNKEY: Alright.
Finally we can have some frosted flakes.
[Sniffling] Uh-
There's no milk! [That thing starts crying]
This is an outrage!
WILLIAM THE KID: Got milk?
[gasp]
Not anymore!
[louder gasp]
Everything is going just as I planned!
[the loudest gasp]
Soon the entire world will be without dairy!
[loudest gasp 2: electric boogaloo]
No butter on toast, no ice cream, no cheddar cheese...
...nothing but dry cereal. [DUNKEY STARTS CHOKING]
Nothing can stop me now!
DUNKEY: Except for Spy Fox!
Bitch!
NARRATOR: Somewhere over the Mediterranean Sea.
DUNKEY: Where is this?
Yeah, I'm about to dig into this...
...rump roast...
...uh oh...
MONKEY PENNY: Good to see you, Agent Fox.
SPY FOX AND DUNKEY: Ahh, Monkey Penny.
SPY FOX: Now that's a real TV dinner. DUNKEY: Now that's what I call Shrek.
DUNKEY: Order now. Available in all retail stores.
MP: Right.
Yesterday, our spy operatives
discovered the factory and offices DUNKEY: What a mess.
of Amalgamated Moo Juice Incorporated DUNKEY: Clean up on aisle bitch.
abandoned and drained of milk.
DUNKEY: Uh oh. MP: Soon the entire world's
remaining milk reserves will be depleted.
SF: That's pretty hard to swallow.
DUNKEY: Like semen.
The only available picture of him is hidden in your mashed potatoes.
DUNKEY: Let's hope the picture isn't mashed. MP: Finding Udderly is your top priority.
SF: He shouldn't be too hard to find. DUNKEY: Nice ass!
MP: The feta cheese samples found in Udderly's office
have been traced back to the island of...
DUNKEY: Blah, blah, blah. Shut the hell up.
MP: Your plane should be flying over the island any minute now.
I've already set up a... DUNKEY: [screaming]
[still screaming]
Spy Fox in: Dry Cheerios.
SF: I wish I hadn't left my parachute in my other tuxedo.
DUNKEY: Uh-oh. SF: Maybe one of my special spy gadgets will help me!
DUNKEY: Aw yeah.
Definitely, yeah.
SF: I wonder which one I should pick.
DUNKEY: Decisions, decisions.
Hm.
Huh.
SF: Funny, I usually have quicker reactions than this.
DUNKEY: Shut the fuck up.
You gotta think now.
I'm gonna die if I don't pick-
SF: This isn't such a safe bet.
[Dunkey cracks up]
Safe bet, he says!
SF: I'm in no mood to tickle the ivories now.
DUNKEY: I don't get that one.
SF: Tanks, but no tanks.
[Dunkey absolutely loses his shit]
[He's still going]
[I do enjoy subtitling these videos]
SF: Phew, pardon me. That airline food will get you every time.
DUNKEY, SQUEALING: Airline food gets you every time!
Whu- what's going on over here on the bottom left?
Oh, here we go.
[Dunkey starts beatboxing]
[This goes for like ten more seconds]
[By the way, that line about the airline food? Surprisingly hard to hear. I tried picking it up from a playthrough, but it turns out there's multiple ways for that scene to play out and the whoopie cushion doesn't show as often in other videos. Mostly pogo sticks and fishing rods.]
[Yeah, sure, I'm abusing my position to make long joke subtitles. Can you blame me? He's still beatboxing back there, it's not like you're missing anything. You don't like it, go find another pre-2014 video to sub. I'm having fun.]
[Alright, thanks for listening. He's almost done, then the subs will continue as normal. We cool? We cool.]
DUNKEY: Okay.
Let's, uh, go over here.
SF: I have a feeling that any moment now, I'm going to do something...
...really... predictable.
[Dunkey screams unpredictably]
It looks better over there.
No, no, I want it there.
No, no- no, right there.
No, I- over there.
No, put it- put it up-
Perfect.
Let me in!
[muffled] You son of a bitch!
SF: That door is still-
DUNKEY: [muffled] Knock knock, mother fucker!
Let me in that bitch!
SF: Five-five-five... DUNKEY: Oooooh.
SF: Zero-nine-four-five. DUNKEY: The number was in the fortune cookie!
Oooohhh!
The elevator was in the phone booth!
Oooohhhhh.
DUNKEY, TALKING OVER SPY FOX: Hey there, Monkey Titty!
MP: That's... Monkeypenny.
DUNKEY: Titty.
MP: So what do you think of Skycorp's new
Greek island mobile command center? DUNKEY: ...think of all the sharks.
And this... is a-
SF: A toothbrush!
And I sure could use one after that airplane meal!
DUNKEY: Airplane, he says!
MP: Don't put that in your mouth!
DUNKEY: I'm gonna do it.
MP: It's not a regular toothbrush.
It's a special laser toothbrush.
Let me show you how it works.
You hold the laser toothbrush...
apply the minty fresh laser gel...
push the button, then you can use it to cut through really thick steel.
DUNKEY: I'm still gonna do it.
SF: My spy watch is beeping.
DUNKEY: Oh, I wonder who it could be.
SF: Spy Fox here. DUNKEY: It's the stupid fucking monkey bitch.
MP: Hi, Spy Fox. Remember, you-
DUNKEY: Remember, you can hang the call up on this dumb bitch.