- [Narrator] Do you ever feel like people don't like you?
Relationships can be incredibly difficult to navigate.
You may find some people
look the other way when you're around,
and you can't help but wonder why.
While there are some things you can do
to improve yourself and your likability,
there are other parts of you that you just have to accept.
With that said, here are seven things you do
that might make people dislike you.
(soft music)
Number one, being fake.
You've probably heard the phrase be yourself
as advice when you're meeting new people.
This allows you to show how colorful and unique you are.
On the other hand, when you try to be someone you're not,
it can come across as inauthentic
and make some people wary of you and your intentions.
It's better to be your authentic self,
as you'll find that people that do like you
like you for who you are.
While being yourself doesn't necessarily mean
you'll be the most popular in the room,
you'll find that the friendships that come out of it
are much stronger than those built on a facade.
Number two, being one-sided.
Conversations and relationships should be a two-way street.
While it's no secret that being selfish,
taking advantage of others,
and not letting others speak will make them dislike you,
the reverse can be true as well.
Letting someone else do all the talking
and provide no input from your side
is typically less favorable.
Having back-and-forth conversations,
letting others speak their perspective,
and you responding with your own
is better than a one-sided interrogation.
Basically, create dialogue instead of a monologue.
Number three, not smiling.
Smiling has numerous benefits outside of social situations,
including improving your overall mood.
Did you know that smiling
can make you more attractive to other people?
It can make you appear more approachable and friendly
than if you're frowning.
While it can't be hard to know what your face is doing,
you may find it makes a difference
in how people interact with you.
After all, people pay close attention
to your non-verbal expressions.
Number four, getting too personal right away.
As social beings, we rely on others for support,
and the closer we are to people,
the more we're willing to let them in,
but timing is also important.
Telling your best friend of 10 years
something really personal
is different from a person you met 10 minutes ago.
Doing this can be off-putting
and can lead a person to judge you
in a way that someone who knows your full story wouldn't.
Let someone get to know you first
and understand you as a person
before letting them in on all your secrets.
Number five, bragging.
While it can be nice
to flex some of your wonderful achievements on others,
there's a time and a place for everything,
and bragging can be a huge turnoff
when used in the wrong situation.
Talking too much about yourself and your achievements
can come off as self-centeredness
and create a sense of superiority that drives away.
While this may seem obvious,
do know that this isn't the only way to brag.
Humble-bragging is essentially the same action,
although it's veiled by self-criticizing
a positive attribute about themselves.
For example, if you tell someone
that you care too much about a project,
and that's why your group members
have a difficult time getting along with you,
you're essentially boasting
that you have a great work ethic,
but are disguising it as self-deprecation.
Number six, being threatening.
A person can feel threatened by you
for reasons beyond the obvious.
Perhaps you have something that the other person does not,
and jealousy comes into play.
Maybe they're insecure about something within themselves
and project it onto you,
so unless you're actively doing something
that could potentially harm a person,
sometimes people may dislike you
because of something that they're lacking.
But this isn't the only way that you can appear threatening.
Your body language, tone of voice,
and what you talk about are important as well.
Making sure you keep your body language open
and working to make your peers more comfortable can help.
And number seven, being yourself.
Okay, hear us out.
While this may be surprising,
it's true that sometimes being who you are
will turn others away.
This can be through many factors.
In many cases, certain people have different preferences
that may not align with your personality.
While it's important to know that you can improve yourself,
especially if you're doing something harmful,
it should not come at the expense
of pretending to be someone else,
as we said at the start.
Sometimes you may just be incompatible with certain groups,
and that's okay.
You can improve what you wanna change,
but also accept what you cannot.
When you are your authentic self,
you might drive some people away,
but you may also pull in people
who accept and love you for who you are,
and you may find that it will attract others to you
and build connections much stronger than the other way.
After all, the quality of friendships
is more important than quantity.
Can you relate to any of the things mentioned?
Let us know in the comments below if you liked this video,
and share it with others.
The references and studies used
are listed in the description below.
Until next time, and take care.