move on straight up move on forget them they are lying and they are
untrustworthy so move on now sometimes this can be
hard especially if they've somehow tied themselves in your life especially like
for instance you get the kids involved a divorce scenario you you can't move on
but you have to mentally move on you have to emotionally detach from that
human and that's hard to do because obviously they were someone that you
trusted me and the reason I know that you trusted them is because they got to
a point where they were able to betray your trust and destroy you so they they
it's hard but the fact that they trust that you trusted them the fact that you
had that relationship that's even more reason to walk away it's even more
reason to move on you've got to see them for what they are and this is an
important piece right here this is an important because this is something I
learned as a young lad out there in the world that person is not who you thought
they were right they are not who you thought they were the idea that this
person was a trustworthy faithful companion is not true it is not true
that person does not exist they didn't exist and they don't exist it was in
your head it was in your head that this person was trustworthy and you they were
everything he wanted them to be and they were faithful commanded that is a lie
they are not that person they have proved it they've proved it by their
actions so move on and at the risk of sounding
callous get over it get over it do not dwell do not dwell on
do not dwell on on what it was and don't dwell on what it could have been you you
and guys go through bad breakups you know it's I just I thought well you're
gonna it's like no don't dwell on that deal with what it is right now what that
person is deal with reality accept reality and be be thankful free Ally be
thankful that you were able to learn before you invested more into this
person be thankful that you found out when you did that this person was a liar
that this person was unfaithfuls untrustworthy be be thankful that you
know it and you know it now instead of later and you know what else is gonna
make it a lot easier to get over these situations is recognize that there's
plenty of people out there in the world that are trustworthy and there are
faithful good people there's a there out there go find one of them but don't
think that that person that you had was the only one in the world they're not
and you know what if that sometimes sometimes people have a hard time making
that trust because they're so caught up and they they don't want to meet someone
else right away that's fine start with yourself right rely on yourself trust
yourself because we when someone breaks our trust
we we we question ourselves - yes like we think aren't my judgments bad I'm not
a good judge of human character cuz I totally put my faith in this person and
look what they did to me so now we don't trust her so you got to build that trust
up you got to build that trust up back again with yourself how do you do that
read write learn work out the alone it's okay to be alone some people get freaked
out when they're alone it's okay to be alone it's okay it's okay to be alone
there's no big deal enjoy it do something productive and build that
trust up in yourself you know look back at the situation learn
we do that Sanaa post operational debrief oh you've put too much trust in
somebody cool they broke your heart all right Roger that let's see what would
the steps what should I have recognized how many times did I say well you know
they didn't call me but it's probably just cuz their phone was out of battery
no once your phone runs out of battery once okay you don't let it happen again
right so you start seeing those red flags see you the mistakes that you made
and then look for them next time around because you deal with people all the
time that they made mistakes the first run
they go back they make the same mistakes the second run they go back and make the
same mistakes the third run that's when you gotta start blaming yourself on your
situation that's why that's why I said you got to like build a relationship
with yourself you've got to learn yourself you got to trust you got to
learn to trust yourself so spend some time doing that and then when you go
back and you start dealing with people because that's what that's what you
gotta watch out for is that you become a hardened criminal you don't trust
anybody like you were talking about cops you know sometimes cops have a hard time
because they're dealing with scumbags all day long then it builds up this this
mistrust of other people so you don't want to have that happen you want to be
suspicious of people but you want to be able to build trust once they proven
themselves so take those small steps and start to build up over time don't just
jump in and give someone one hundred percent trust out of the gate you don't
know you don't know you know back in the day back in the day with old hardcore
bands used to have this t-shirt that just said trust no one
I was like yeah that's legit right you don't don't go out of the gate with the
big trust on somebody with important stuff you know do it but the good news
is like I said there's plenty people out there they're good people that you don't
give you can give all your trust to just take it slow brother yeah and it's so
crazy how you just explain that so simple and it makes total sense when
you're in the situation no oceans you know like you can't just detach and be
like what are the roots no you're too busy missing the person or whatever
your design so and there's but throwing thing was looking at pictures that's the
word yeah you get out the picture and stare I've seen guys do that I can bro
give me that let me fill this away for you it's not gonna help that person yeah
that others always to me this was explaining like listen cuz guys what
shoes no no she wasn't that is a lie that person that you put put together in
your head that you've assembled in your mind that person doesn't exist
they don't exist the person that you dealt with was a liar was unfaithful as
a cheater that's the person the person wasn't this person that you're putting
forth in your mind that person doesn't exist so stop but but you don't
understand the good times yeah you know I don't know I
it's a here's the trick okay so if okay that person a liar that for the cheater
and what I kind of said there was look you don't understand a good time that's
a real part of it that's really it's like sure they did this sure she um
flats my tires when she gets my sure all that great times we have are so good so
it's it's it's proof that it it's not about the person it's not about the
person that you can see all the red flags and how they mistreat you from
time to time or they Beach it's about yourself and how you're sad now because
of all these reasons but the trick comes with what one of the tricks comes with
same thing I said about drinking where it's your brain because it's like
chemicals when you bond with someone in a certain in certain ways and it's
different from you know it varies from person to person but it's like I think
it's like oxytocin or I don't know something where it's it's we go with you
some but you feel this bond with a specific person that's why you have
these feelings even though this girl like lies to you you see her lying text
messages on your phone right now you're looking at you meanwhile you still still
miss them it's a trick because it's saying like that you're emotional like
well-being is attached to this person kind of thing right and all those if you
just kind of ignore so just like um how's the same with drinking right y
know consciously like I'm gonna be hungover tomorrow alright I won't get
anything done all this stuff liquor why do I want to drink so bad right now you
know thing no and it's the same thing the
chemicals in your brain are telling you like this girl is essential for you you
know for your well-being he's not yeah oh that's not that's a lot it's a trick
listen to the don't listen your brain listen to me yes she's not essential
that's all you're wrong bro I'm telling you but that's the logic right no those
chemicals are locking I have seen so many situations where guys are just in
what's horrible is I'm sitting here saying this it's you could be smacking
someone in the face telling a move on move on and they're not gonna listen
that's that's also you got to make that decision
yeah that's that's that's it's hard and guys ruin their lives I mean is due to
those and guys ruin their lives you know with over somebody that is completely
abusive whether mentally or physically that just completely abusive and they'll
ruin their lives for this person that pert and you see in my mind I think it's
because they build a person they build a person on the framework of reality they
build a fantasy and they're in love with that fantasy and they want to keep it
going right it's a fantasy so stop and they
get away they ignore like all the conifers red flags sure and they
remember the good times even if it's like like ten minutes yeah a week they
remember those good times they ignore the the red flags because of that that
you know that trick that chemical trick in their brain a so it reinforces that
thing that they built you know that fantasy that they'd be like it's true
this big the reality is this big and look the fantasy and they just attach to
it yeah you ever see like a friend or whatever because I'm assuming you've
never seen this situation like you ever had a friend where they're really into
it they're almost ruining their lives they're in bad shape or whatever and
then whether it be all of a sudden or years later whatever they're thinking
back in there like what was I think yeah because the chemical trick so to speak
wears off and then they can see all that logic that you're talking about like oh
my gosh and it's it's almost like it's almost like you feel like you were a
different person when you recover your hands I mean just the fact that you
can't talk any sense into people when they're in that situation it's the track
you gotta try and it's hard it's hard but I think knowing
that that's it it's a chemical in your brain that is tricking you and it goes
for a lot of stuff doughnuts like all this that's tricking you if you know
like yeah and you say I'm not gonna be tricked I feel it I feel listed I feel
the sadness I feel missing this person but it's a trick you know yeah that
helps it totally helps I like it so move on man
I know it's hard trust us speaking of moving on next question unless we want
to talk about this some more no I think you need to move on yeah exactly right
let's move on in what circumstances do you recommend director desk I will hold
on only now moving on you're stuck on a but
what's horrible is men people kill themselves yeah in these situations over
a lie yeah that's that's to me that's the trick but it's a lie and in guys or
girls get so distraught over this fantasy that doesn't exist
and what's really jacked up is if they could just move on they'd find a reality
that was actually congruent with what their desires are it's out there
yeah you can see people all over the world they're they're they're in
relationships having fun from every level right yeah there's someone out
there but you you get caught up in this mental trap and in obsessing over a
fantasy it's a fantasy don't don't don't obsess over the
fantasy man there's you can you can get over it and there's plenty of other
human beings out there that are awesome so go find one of them and in the
meantime hang out with your badass self right become a better person and working
out is a big one for huge first sir that's a that's did a hundred percent
just get it get in the gym and get after it
jiu-jitsu solves everything yes lifting solves every day