Guys I don't really put like too much pressure on this but this video kind of makes or breaks our relationship because for
this week's video, I'm putting literally all of my trust into you
inside of you. sorry that was so graphic oh my god you guys have been
Commenting on all my videos telling me to download this game called "bitlife" I have no idea
What this is I've never heard of it? I don't know if this is the thing you guys have been like playing with your
peers....
ew. why do I sound 85 years old?? I did zero
Research before going into this video I'm literally just sitting down right now with you guys and I'm gonna fucking download the app and play it
So hopefully it's good... otherwise
Fuck you guys and if this video is bad it's your fault. bit life. should I even look at
What this is? I guess I will. hey, bitizens!
Bitizens? wtf?? oh.
Here is the description.... "how will you live your bit life? will you try to make all the right choices
In an attempt to be a model - will you try it -
I love being able to read. will you try to make all the right choices and in attempts to become become
That's the words: become - a model citizen sometimes before you die you could
Marry, the man woman of your dreams have kids and pick up a good
job, along the way or will you make choices that horrify your parents? start prison riots smuggle duffel bags... smuggle duffel bags ?? full
Of what and cheat on your spouse. wow it's the number one strategy game this must
be poppin let's go bit life. love this big sperm! oh my god, it's time to be born. Preston Swift
I was born a male in San Diego United States. oh?
I was an accidental pregnancy... my father is Tucker Swift a school administrator age 62 my mother is an
Angelica Swift a restaurant worker age 19
We love an age gap couple I don't know what happened there
oh
Wait look I have a meter down here about
who I am, I guess.. Looks like I'm pretty happy, and pretty smart and pretty healthy...
But also, pretty ugly... so, let's just age I guess
one year! let's age again.. now I'm 2!!
My mom's been promoted.. I don't give a fuck about my mom, only tell me about me please I'm just gonna age until I
can actually do something
what's going on?? ...you broke your parents sex toy..? Oh
ew... why do I even have my hands on that. I'm literally seven... admit that I broke it or it wasn't me?
All right well I think I'm an only child so
Who else would it be you know what I mean? I admitted to my parents that
I broke their sex toy, and my looks went up 1%. Oh no
My dad died at the age of 72. he died of typhoid fever
Is that even a thing that people can get today? I thought that was like an ancient disease? no my happiness dropped to the same level
as my looks, bad
Driving license! it's time to take your driving test, will you take it? I'm gonna take the test let's do it. Oh no
I literally have to take a test right now holy shit
What does this road sign mean? a side road, duh
you passed your driving test. Anyway, now that I'm 16 I feel like I could probably do things, right? Oh my god I can!
Love
Find a date. oh my g- set up a threesome?? holy shit
why can't I do that yet?
I graduated!
I think I'm just gonna go to college, because I didn't go to college in real life so I'm just gonna live vicariously through
Preston Swift
which by the way, he sounds like a douchebag. isn't that like a
Douchey name. I'll just do English. apply for a scholarship, ask my mother to pay or apply for a student loan.... all right
I''m gonna apply for a scholarship
fingers crossed! oh..
okay... ask my mother to pay. true love! your mother agreed to pay your university tuition!! thanks mommy I can do anything I want the
World is my little oyster so I think I'm gonna commit a crime. Oh murder someone damn never mind
I'm going right back to the main menu. you met a chick named Layla Brown let's ask her on a date. Oh....
Layla Brown rejected you she called you a loser
All right fuck you Layla brown. briefcase
while returning a movie to red box you find a briefcase
What will you do? keep it it's mine now leave it alone and turn it in honestly he beds mine now
Someone started arguing with you because you took, his briefcase
assault him walk away from him or argue back to him no why why isn't there just like a give back the briefcase option cuz
That's what I would do but since there's not let's assault you bruised his booty you poked his rump you scraped his chest
you socked his tooth
He died from the injuries shut the fuck up?
I literally just killed someone busted
Oh my god this is all happening so fast
You have been convicted of manslaughter and sentenced
To seven years in prison you've been forced to drop out of the University oh my god, oh my god
I'm in prison what do I do here appeal my sentence attempt to escape start a riot
Wow okay, let's start a riot
You started a prison riot one person died oh my god I killed someone else
24. Were injured why did I do that busted
oh
no
I'm in prison for another two five years by the time I get out I'm gonna be so old and wrinkly alright let's just age
9. Years so that I'm not
Oh my god. I'm getting hot in prison I'm a 51% good-looking
Wow, this is awesome. I love being in prison
I'm just getting hotter I just got hotter I went up to I went up one more sweet freedom yeah
So I'm not a prison now, which is so amazing like I'm 30 and I'm unemployed but I'm
64 percent good-looking so prison really did me wonders I think I should get a job the porn actor
Oh my god I bet I don't need an education for that one the salary is
sixty three thousand dollars should I be a porn star
I'm going to apply. Oh
Okay, whatever you guys porta potti pumper
Okay, perfect fit. Yeah. I'm asking porta potti pumper and an ex-convict, we?
I just realized I'm 30 and I've never even kissed anyone yet should I go like get a date or something
Let's try and let's try and get a date why can't I set up a threesome use the dating
Oh it cost some money
I don't have money for that I'll just find a date Michelle Ross on your way to an Iggy Azalea concert
What am I going there
You met a woman named Ella joiner okay, whatever asked her on a date?
Ramona Baker all right ask her on a date
What we do honestly I'm over looking for love I'm gonna find a hookup
Oh, my you a librarian named Penelope Hathaway confesses that she has been naughty and needs to be spanked
I haven't even had my first kiss yet
And I'm a 30 should I take her to bed in the spanker or no like I really don't know
I'll take her to that quickie
You had a one-night stand with Penelope Hathaway you threw out your back giving her the best you got
Oh No look at them look at the phone meter my enjoyment is so high and hers is so low Wow t oh
t well
Whatever age oh
my god drugs
nitrous oxide
you have been offered laughing gas what will you do honestly yeah let's let's go Ellison laughing gasps I don't even know that was a
Thing that people like did like do they bring like a tank like a gas tank. Oh
SOS situation you come upon a car wreck in which a woman is stuck inside a vehicle
Leaking fuel what will you do do I attempt to rescue her. I mean definitely call the fire department
Look the other way let's try and rescue ya here how you saved a woman's life?
Maybe that makes up for one of the people that I murdered
How crazy she is should we start dating her just for like fun yeah let's do it
Oh, I can set up a threesome now only
Bob let's do it you and your girlfriend honey have an
Opportunity to have a threesome with a lady named Sarah yeah let's do it yeah kingi I enjoyed it
Twice as much as honey did should I get married to her our relationship looks like it's not going too
well but I'm gonna propose oh
my god
oh
Yeah she rejected me all right you know what I'm gonna just break up with her for Sarah finger man
An unfortunate last name while playing chess at the park with an old man what you meet a lady named Sarah
Fingerman let's ask dude
we're dating
Yes, let's get married
She said yes yeah you married Sarah fingerman?
you went to Santorini Greece for your honeymoon hell yeah
Yeah, yeah I have a daughter your wife Sarah just had a baby daughter what will you name her pick random
Shauna all right I guess what's my baby all right let's keep aging. Oh my god
I had another daughter or let's pick a random name
Paisley oh my god this is so fun I have two kids and a wife
What do I do?
Oh my god abandon her? I took my daughter Paisley to a hotdog eating contest she's not
even a year old yet you have been diagnosed with hemorrhoids.
Oh yikes, oh no bowel incontinence no what is going on. Down there with me. Oh
My god, my mom died, but, also I just inherited
$200,000 Ah!
What do we do now that I'm 70 should I go come in a crime? Murder. Should I murder
someone like just for old times sake right let's see should I murder my ex, okay?
Yeah, I will should I commit the murder or no what am I thinking
I'm gonna do it just to spice up this video
Oh
what you tried to strangle your daughter Paisley why did I do that I literally did not want to do that what oh
no, oh
oh
my god it she assaulted you she
Squashed your eyelid oh no I did not mean to try and strangle my daughter, I was trying to strangle my ex.
Oh my god why did I do that, oh no well I have depression now. Oh
my God my life is really going downhill I shouldn't have tried to murder someone. All right, well I'm just going to age
I died, I fucking died, oh my god. I died. I died.
Alright guys well that, was my simulated life it honestly
Didn't go that well
But you know what that's why it's a simulation
Because we can do whatever we want thank you guys for recommending that I played this game it was really fun and I think this
video, is fun to make I hope you guys liked it and if you
Did then make sure to give it a big thumbs up but
Yeah I
Think that is pretty much it thank you guys so much for watching and I will see you all next
Saturday with another new video, bye.