can't stop masturbating here's why and what to do about it i'm dr trish leigh
cognitive neuroscientist and sex addiction recovery coach let's break this down together
number one let's discuss why you masturbate number two how do you masturbate and number three what
can you do instead let's start with number one why so there's a why behind your masturbation habit
so if the why is that you're using masturbation to relax and to de-stress to fill a void of a
sexual urge so you just get the compulsion or the feeling that you want to masturbate
you are using masturbation as mood regulation to make you feel better and if you've developed
a compulsive masturbation habit it may have become the tool the only tool unfortunately
in your toolbox to offset stress and to help you relax maybe fall asleep maybe take the edge off
the day or just to fill the void of boredom so the why behind masturbation is important because
you're using it as a tool for the wrong thing and when we get to the what can you do instead
we're going to put more tools in your toolbox okay so number two how do you masturbate i know
what you're thinking already and that's not what i mean what i mean is where are you going during
masturbation to create that arousal so likely you're going to fantasy likely you're going
to a mental recall of the porn images that you've seen before perhaps an ex-girlfriend or lover who
was willing to do some funky and kinky things that you want to experience at arousal again your brain
might be going to fantasy this is very important because if you're in fantasy while you masturbate
and if it's born out of a porn habit it is likely a compulsive masturbation habit that is like a
porn habit minus the porn so so many people that i talked to say i've been able to stop going
into the screen i haven't watched porn in a year but now masturbation i'm having more difficulty
getting rid of that habit that's because the porn images are internalized that's what makes porn
addiction so much more challenging than an alcohol addiction or drug addiction at least in my opinion
because the people that i talk with they say man i wish if i had a drug addiction you could put me in
a room for 30 days and i'll come out cleaner than when i went in because i wouldn't have been able
to get my fix but if you put me in a room for 30 days i can get my fix all day long by myself and
that's the problem so if you're going to fantasy if you have euphoric recall of porn images you
need to stop doing that because you're firing up the old neural pathways of hypersexuality making
it almost impossible for you to create these new neural pathways of healthy sexuality which
is a beautiful transition to number three what do you do instead well if you happen to be the rare
person in the world and on this channel who has found a way to create a healthy masturbation habit
then you can continue with your healthy masturbation habit and what that is it's feeling
the feelings in your body and connecting kind of at a self-spiritual level to having an experience
where you feel good but you're present and this is what we want you to accomplish while you're having
great sex with your honey in the real world so if you're able to do that in your body without going
to fantasy without heightening that arousal level to up here where you're getting that dopamine
deluge that unfortunately is frying out your brain it's desensitizing the reward center and
it's knocking your frontal lobe offline if you get that heightened level of arousal and stimulation
either mental from fantasy or physical from incredible masturbation stimulation that
you can do yourself through masturbation that you can't get with a partner so you're still
wounding your brain and that sensitivity which causes erectile dysfunction and another why for
so many people is they'll masturbate before they plan on being with a partner because
they can't get there without that heightened stimulation if that's you you really need to
back out the masturbation habit which leads us to the second part of what can you do instead what to
do instead is to develop a healthy relationship with sex where you're using it for connectivity
not for this high level intensity where your brain gets all this dopamine instead you're
using it for the perfect neurochemical cocktail of dopamine serotonin and oxytocin which connects you
to your partner doesn't mean you can't get it on absolutely you can get it on you're just doing it
in a relational way with somebody else you're coupling your brain neurologically to sex with
a partner not sex by yourself at these heightened levels of arousal so back out that masturbation
habit absolutely stay out of the screen get your head out of fantasy and back in the real world and
go enjoy sex with a partner now listen no partner no problem for right now i know that you may want
to continue to masturbate but if you keep using hypersexual neural pathways it will be much more
difficult for you to calm your brain down get it into that middle zone of electrical energy which
creates the perfect neurochemical cocktail that helps you attract a healthy partner so if you stay
in masturbation you're repelling a partner because you're using the wrong brain pattern so you have
to leave masturbation behind and start building intimacy in the real world with potential partners
that are like-minded and that you can connect with in a whole person way so sign up for those online
chess sessions that you've been dying to sign up for start connecting okay i hope this helps you
out and if you're looking for more help on your journey please go over to www.drtrishleigh.com,
i have programs of different shapes and sizes digital programs there's affordable ones there
for you so that we can help you out and as always control your brain or it'll control you