GUILLERMO AND I HAD AN ADVENTURE
COURTESY OF THE NORTH BROOKLYN
BOAT CLUB.
WE TOOK A CANOE INTO THE NEW
TOWN CREEK WHICH RUNS BETWEEN
BROOKLYN AND QUEENS.
AND TO MAKE IT EVEN MORE
INTERESTING, WE INVITED A
FRIEND, SOMEONE WHO LOVES NEW
YORK AND IS AN EXPERT ON THE
LIFE AQUATIC, TOO.
OH, HEY, IS THIS THE PLACE?
>> YEAH, THIS IS THE PLACE.
>> THIS IS NICE.
BEAUTIFUL.
>> THIS IS MY SUMMER PLACE.
>> Jimmy: SHALL WE CHECK IT OUT?
>> DID YOU STRAP YOUR GUTS ON?
>> I'M READY, MR. BILL.
>> YOU'RE GOING TO NEED ONE OF
THESE.
>> ALL RIGHT.
♪
>> Jimmy: HI, GUYS.
HOW ARE YOU?
>> HI.
>> WELCOME TO GREEN POINT.
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S HAPPENING OVER
HERE?
>> THIS IS RECYCLING IN ACTION.
IT'S COMING OUT.
>> Jimmy: I KNEW THERE WOULD BE
NATURAL BEAUTY, I DIDN'T KNOW
THERE WOULD BE SO MUCH
ARTIFICIAL BEAUTY AS WELL.
THAT'S THE CYCLE OF LIFE WHEN
THE RECYCLING BIN GETS RECYCLED.
>> WHAT'S THE NAME OF THIS
WATERWAY?
>> THIS IS THE NEW TOWN CREEK.
IT FORMS THE BOARD BETWEEN
BROOKLYN AND QUEENS SO
THAT'S --
>> STAY OUT OF BROOKLYN!
>> HOW YOU DOIN' BACK THERE?
>> ALL RIGHT, SO-SO.
>> Jimmy: SO-SO.
♪
>> THAT IS QUEENS ON YOUR LEFT,
BROOKLYN ON THE RIGHT.
>> HEY, CAN YOU GIVE US A PUSH?
>> YOU HAVE TO PUSH YOURSELF!
>> Jimmy: WE'RE PICKIN' UP
SPEED.
>> OH, SCREW THE BOAT WITH THE
MOTOR.
LIKE REALLY, WE CARE?
HE'S GOT A FLAG.
HE'S GOT A HORN.
HE'S PROBABLY GOT SOME BLOW,
HE'S FINE.
>> YOU GUYS ARE DOING A GREAT
JOB.
>> THE CREEK HAS ALWAYS SERVED
AS A KIND OF LIKE AN ALLEY, A
SERVICE CORRIDOR FOR THE CITY.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS WHERE YOU
WOULD DO LIKE A CRAIGSLIST
MURDER, YOU KNOW?
>> NOW EVERYBODY PADDLE!
>> YOU CAN SEE THESE GASOLINE
TANKS ON THE RIGHT.
>> Jimmy: YEAH.
>> NEW TOWN CREEK HAS ALWAYS
BEEN A CENTER OF OIL PRODUCTION.
>> ON THE LEFT, ALL THIS STUFF
HERE IS FOR THE BUCKEYE
PIPELINE, A MAJOR NATIONAL
PIPELINE.
IT GOES TO LAGUARDIA AIRPORT,
THERE'S JET FUEL GOING
UNDERNEATH THE CREEK HERE.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S GOOD FOR THE
FISH, RIGHT?
>> OH, IT'S EXCELLENT.
THOSE ARE THE DIGESTER EGGS OF
THE STATE-OF-THE-ART WATER
TREATMENT FACILITY.
>> IT CAN BE AS LITTLE AS A
TENTH OF AN INCH.
>> Jimmy: A TENETTH OF AN INCH?
>> I KNOW PEOPLE WHO SWEAT THAT
MUCH.
>> IF NEW YORKERS WANT TO HELP
THEY CAN AVOID FLUSHING THEIR
TOILETS WHEN IT'S RAINING.
>> Jimmy: I WOULD LOVE TO BE THE
FACE OF THAT CAMPAIGN.
>> WE WOULD LOVE IT.
>> Jimmy: HEY, FOLKS, IT'S JIMMY
KIMMEL, REMINDING YOU, WHEN IT
STARTS TO SPRINKLE, DON'T FLUSH
YOUR TINKLE.
OH, NO!
>> DO YOU HAVE SOME SNACKS?
>> Jimmy: I SEE SOME SNACKS
FLOATING BY.
>> ALL THIS GARBAGE MAKING ME
HUNGRY.
>> Jimmy: I CAN SEE WHY YOU'D
GET HUNGRY.
>> WE'RE GOING TO CROSS THE
CREEK TO THE QUEENS SIDE.
>> Jimmy: BEAR LEFT AND CROSS
THE CREEK TO THE QUEENS SIDE,
EVERYBODY.
PASS IT FORWARD.
>> YES, PADDLE.
PADDLE.
>> Jimmy: I FEEL LIKE WE'VE NOW
ENTERED LIKE THE NICE
NEIGHBORHOOD.
>> WAIT UNTIL YOU GET A LITTLE
FARTHER AHEAD.
THERE'S ROSE BUSHES.
>> AND DEFINITELY MIMOSA TREES.
>> WE CAN GET A DRINK?
I'M GETTING THIRSTY.
LOOK WHAT I HAVE HERE.
>> Jimmy: OH, THAT'S NOT WATER,
IS IT?
>> IS THIS SOMETHING I CAN KEEP
MY MOUTH FROM GETTING DRY?
>> Jimmy: THAT TEQUILA?
>> THAT'S TEQUILA.
I ALWAYS HAVE TEQUILA IN CASE I
GET THIRSTY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S A GOOD AMIMOSA.
>> I'M NOT SURE I TASTED IT
CORRECTLY.
>> OH, IT'S ALL YOURS.
>> Jimmy: EVERY TIME WE SEE
SOMETHING ESPECIALLY FILTHY,
WE'LL HAVE A TOAST.
>> HMM.
>> Jimmy: GRACIAS, GUILLERMO, IT
TASTES A LITTLE LIKE YOUR
MUSTACHE.
>> HMM, YOU ARE THE FIRST ONE TO
SAY THAT.
THIS IS SCARY.
>> Jimmy: YOU KNOW, THERE ARE
TWO KINDS OF PEOPLE IN LIFE,
GUILLERMO.
THERE ARE PADDLERS, AND THERE
ARE PASSENGERS.
>> YEAH.
>> Jimmy: GUESS WHICH ONE ARE
YOU RIGHT NOW.
>> THE PASSENGER.
PADDLING IS HARD, JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: YOU GUYS SPEND A LOT
OF TIME OUT ON THIS WATER, HUH?
>> WE BRING WEEKLY BIRD WATCHING
TROOPS BACK HERE.
>> YOU GUYS SINGLE?
>> NO, NO, WE BOTH HAVE WIVES.
>> THAT'S A SURPRISE.
>> SO YOU CAN SEE A SHORE BIRD
UP THERE.
THAT
THAT'S AN EGRET.
>> Jimmy: CAN WE FEED THE EGRET?
>> YOU CAN TRY, BUT THEY EAT
FISH AND KCRUSTATIONS.
>> DO YOU THINK THE BREAD IS NOT
THAT GOOD?
>> MAYBE THEY'RE ALLERGIC TO
GLUTEN FREE.
>> Jimmy: MAYBE THE BIRDS ARE
GLUTEN FREE, THAT'S A GOOD
POINT.
>> I ONLY MAKE GOOD POINTS,
JIMMY.
>> Jimmy: THAT SEEMS LIKE A BAD
SIGN.
>> WHAT?
>> Jimmy: PUBLGBUBBLING IS COMI
FROM THE EARTH?
>> THERE IS A PIPE.
>> Jimmy: THIS IS WHAT YOU DO IN
AN AQUARIUM BASICALLY.
>> YEAH, THE SEDIMENTS ARE
POLLUTED.
>> Jimmy: AND WE'RE BREATHING IT
IN.
YOU SAY I NEVER TAKE YOU
ANYWHERE FUN.
>> AYE AYE AYE.
>> IS THERE ANY WAY YOU CAN TAKE
A PICTURE OF THAT AND PUT NICE
MUSIC OVER THAT?
WHITE BIRD, BY "IT'S A BEAUTIFUL
♪
♪ ON A WINTER'S DAY
♪ IN THE RAIN
♪
>> MIMOSA!
>> Jimmy: NOW WE'RE IN THE EAST
RIVER.
>> YES.
>> Jimmy: NOW THE SITUATION'S A
LITTLE BIT DODGY.
IT IS BEAUTIFUL.
>> THERE WE WERE, A MINUTE AGO
WE WERE PADDLING AMONGST THE
RECYCLING AND THE SEEPAGE.
>> Jimmy: AND NOW HERE WE ARE.
>> NOW WE'RE OUT HERE TO THE
CITY THAT NEVER SLEEPS.
[ LAUGHTER ]
>> Jimmy: WHAT'S SO FUNNY?
>> WHEN HE GETS NERVOUS, HE
STARTS LAUGHING.
HE SAYS WAIT A MINUTE.
HEY, DON'T EVEN KID ABOUT THAT.
SEEMED LIKE IT WAS GOING TO BE
THE MOST DISGUSTING PLACE OF THE
CITY, AND IT TURNED OUT TO BE
KIND OF LOVELY.
>> IF YOU DIVE INTO THE UGLY,
EVENTUALLY, IT GETS PRETTY.
>> Jimmy: THAT'S WHAT I USED TO
TELL THE GIRLS IN HIGH SCHOOL.
AND IT NEVER WORKED.
IT NEVER WORKED.
THANK YOU FOR COMING ON THIS
TRIP WITH US.
>> THANK YOU SO MUCH.
AND THANK YOU FOR THIS, I GUESS.
THANKS SO MUCH.
>> Jimmy: THANK YOU FOR THE
TEQUILA, GUILLERMO.
AND THANKS TO YOU GUYS FOR
WORKING TO CLEAR THIS AREA UP.
>> CHEERS.
THANKS FOR COMING OUT.
>> Jimmy: TO THE EAST RIVER.
>> TO THE EAST RIVER.
>> Jimmy: ALL RIGHT, LET'S GET
OFF THIS WATER.
I'M GOING TO THROW UP.