(Thump Thump Thump Thump ahh, Thump Thump Thump Thump ahh) (Playing with spoons music.)
(In deep voice) This week's Kpop Music Monday will be the review that Korea deserves, but not the one that it needs... with Boyfriend's "Janus".
(Boyfriend singing) You're not a bad girl, yeah yeah, you're not a bad girl, yeah yeah.
It's about time, Boyfriend has been around for awhile, but we've never actually had the chance to speak about them before for a Kpop Music Monday,
and today is the day!
To celebrate, we bought a special copy of the special edition Boyfriend Janus CD, (Kids cheering: Yay!)
so stick around to the end of Music Monday to see how you can win it.
We're happy that we're reviewing this song because this is probably the first "Boyfriend" song that we actually like.
I think their past songs are very hardcore, cutey sounding, and the videos are heavy with the power of male Aegyo. (Maegyeo)
And it's just, not really our style.
Oh, wait, I did kind of like "I'll Be There" with it's weird synthesizer solos.
It's almost a really good song in my opinion, except for that orchestra.
I really like that trickling computer noise in the background of the chorus, and I would have really really liked the song,
if only they got rid of that orchestra.
I know the song is supposed to be all dramatic, but orchestras should be saved for something more epic,
not for breaking up with your girlfriend. So, for now this just seems to be a bit cheesy and trying too hard.
I kind of had the same complaint about not liking the use of the Spanish guitars in an MBLAQ song as well,
but Martina disagrees with me on that point. It doesn't seem to bother her.
C'mon Simon, that chorus is so catchy: I've been singing it all week.
Now, because this video was a bit confusing at first, we looked up the English translation of the lyrics online
to see if it could help us better understand the video.
Allow me, then, to read to you a section of it.
Are you ready for this? I don't think you are. Ahem.
Your small, trembling shoulders, your small lips, I'm sorry-- you collapse before me. You swallow me up hotly and shed tears.
Two thoughts here. Number one: did I just read an excerpt from an adult novel or did I just get trolled by an online translation?
For once, I'm very happy that the music video doesn't match the lyrics.
Second thought: how did the Ministry of Banishment not take this down? This is porn!!!!!
(The Ministry of Banishing All Fun) (Drums- Dun dun dun dun dunah dunah dun dun)
I already told you, you need to ghost Junsu's every move.
If he so much as touches a banana,
I want you to burn the whole forest down.
Do you understand me? I have spoken!!!
(Click) (Crickets Chirping)
(Sexy music) He whispered in my ear and said, [S] "I really want to touch myself because I naughty, naughty" ("Purple Line" TVXQ and Suju "Mr.Simple"!!!!!)
"Make a love baby, just make a love. Bounce me, oh oh. Don't take it in the butt" (B2St "Beautiful" and "Special" Super Junior's "Don't take it in the butt")
As for the video itself, you might be unsure about what happens. So, here's the basic breakdown.
The whole point of the video is to show the struggle between your inner reactions to a situation.
They guy in white is doing his best to not be upset and breakdown in front of his girlfriend, who has left him.
But on the inside, he's really utterly devastated and upset, which are the scenes with the fire and the black suits.
The guys that come in later, we're guessing are his conciousness or something, and they have mixed reactions to the situation.
Some are comforting him and some are laughing at him, by the way, your conciousness is a dick.
But, what we don't get is that there are literally no verbal communications going on between the guy and the girl.
They say nothing the whole time, and then she just walks away, and then he just falls to his knees in shock.
We're thinking maybe he just might have overreacted a bit. (I.. want.. your.. soul.. now!)
(Sad music)
(Starts sobbing) I don't know Mom, she, she just left me. I guess we have to have one less chair at Christmas this year.
Facebook status: Single. Send.
Ah, ah, what am I going to do with my life?
Why would I decide to watch " The Notebook" right now? This is the worst timing ever!
You are my only friend Professor Wigglesbottoms.
[M] Ummmm, what are you doing? [S] You've come back to me, my love.
[M] I said I was going to get a coffee.
[S] I thought you were never going to come back. [M] I was gone for like 5 minutes!!
It's freezing cold in here; I went to go get coffee.
[S] Five minutes is an enternity for me, my love.
[M] Alright, you're pretty much a weirdo.
(Cries again) I'm single again! Ahhh Ahhh. Ahhhh.
Ok, now we're starting to think that maybe she should leave him. He's like the suckiest boyfriend ever.
Hey! Want to go on a date? Great!
How about I take you to a creepy ass museum
with terrifying portraits that look they were set on fire?
And when the inside of the building starts snowing, (Pretty snow! WTF.)
not only do I ignore the fact that it's pretty freaky (Hahah! Wow! We need to leave this doomed, haunted castle. ASAP)
And we should GTFO out of there! (Mama didn't raise no fool.)
But I don't even offer you my jacket even though you're clearly freezing, since you're wearing just a dress. (Oh no! Are your wrists cold? *sigh* Another Korean drama wrist hold.)
I said I was a boyfriend; I never said I was a gentleman.
So, besides Boyfriend's need to work on their boyfriending skills, we think Boyfriend videos have some of the best info box descriptions ever!
What they wrote for "Love Style" a few months ago, was a gold mine of awesome.
This time around the info box is far more coherent.
But, I had a part that really stuck out in my mind.
In case you didn't know it, the info box tells you that this video shows and I quote,
The boys' dramatic transition into fierce masculine men! (BOYFRIEND reveals another face [JANUS]!)
Now, I would have understood if the transition was from boys to men, that would make sense to me.
But, it's more than that, not even that they're just plain men, they're the 'masculine' kind of men.
And then, just to up the ante, they are fierce masculine men!
The testosterone in this video is through the roof! Or is it?
I'll let you be the judge of that.
(Spoon playing music) (The English)
As for the English of the song, I'm giving this a... 4 out of 5.
There's only one line of English in the song and it's in the chorus, it's supposed to say: you're not a bad girl.
Instead though, it sounds to me like they are saying,
[Boyfriend] You're not a Batgirl. Yeah Yeah. You're not a Batgirl. Yeah Yeah.
Indeed Boyfriend, she is not the Batgirl.
Unless she is! Justice and protection!
For you stating the obvious, I give you a four out of five.
(More spoon playing music) (The showdown)
Last week we asked you who you thought should be added to Younique unit.
Max or BoA? Even though a lot of you said BoA was a much better dancer, you picked Max!
Obviously! Having Max in "Maxstep" would have made that video a bazillion times better,
especially every time he dance moved and the lights turned out, it would have been hot, fit, and lovely (hunk filled and lovely?).
For this week's showdown, we ask you which emotional breakdown you preferred,
Boyfriend's in "Janus" or MBLAQ's in "Cry"?
Leave your sissy baby votes in the sissy baby comments, and we'll announce the sissy baby next week.
Also, we're announcing the winner of the Block B's signed CD giveaway in our blooper reel.
So, make sure you check that out! (Boyfriend CD Giveaway!) (Harp!)
It's giveaway time, we have one special edition Boyfriend CD avaliable because there was only one left in the store.
So, we're gonna be giving that out to you, our YouTube Subscribers, since we just passed 250,000 subscribers, (Kids cheering: Yay!!!)
and we want to thank you all for being so awesome!
To win the CD, answer the following skill testing question, throughout this Music Monday we planted a whole slew of Batgirls,
we want to know, how many Batgirl images did we include in this video?
We're not going to choose someone who trys to spam their way into victory, so choose your answer wisely.
We'll announce the winner next week on our Music Monday Blooper footage which is located over here, (head nod) on our SimonandMartina Bonus page.
If you didn't know we had that,
it's right here. You should subscribe.
Lastly, because we give away so many awesome CDs to our subscribers,
don't forget to like and to favorite this video,
and to subscribe for more Music Mondays.
Take it away, sissy baby Spudgy!
Thanks for watching Kpop Music Mondays of EYK! (The end of the spoon playing music)
(I am the Batgirl.)