Hey, guys, do you know people can be really rude? Of course, on my way to work today,
I stopped by a food store to just grab a bite and I saw this lady who looked really familiar
to me. So, I went and asked her, hey did I see you at a bookstore in Delhi? You’re
from Delhi right, did I meet you before? And she goes; I don't go to book fairs. I was
so stunned. I was like, dumbfounded. What do I reply? She just sort of insulted me right
on my face and I didn't know what to say. My natural reply, you know, would be something
like, I guess, you need to take some classes for politeness. Of course, because she was
so rude to me. I decided to keep myself quiet and I decided to keep my composure and I told
her no problems, I'm sorry, I was mistaken. Guess what, I was surprised to see the results.
She goes, I'm sorry, I'm sorry, I was rude. We haven't met before, that’s what she told
me. I said, wow, so then I realized that all the keep calm memes that I see on Facebook
and Insta, all these pictures, where they right, keep calm and do good. Keep calm and
be polite, keep calm because it's your sister's wedding, keep calm and do not fight back.
All these things are actually meaningful and keeping calm is actually useful. So that was
a learning experience for me and I learned that keeping calm, when someone is rude to
you, actually works. So today, I have brought for you, a few tested and tried phrases that
you can use, while someone is talking rudely to you. You can reply to them with these phrases
and smartly put their impoliteness and rudeness to rest. So this is Michelle and you're watching
me on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills for the real world.
Do you know a simple thank you is more powerful than you think? From my experience, I think,
thank you is magical. Take for example, if you need to use the computer urgently at your
workplace and your PC has crashed. So you ask a colleague if you could share the computer
and they are like, I don't share my resources. Of course, that was very rude. If you respond
to them with a simple, hmm, it's okay, thank you. You will actually show the person, that
you are not angry and you were not at all affected by their behaviour. That’s the
way of a mature person. Your polite answer means that you see the person's rudeness and
you choose not to react. This shows that you are not affected and it's perfectly fine if
they are talking to you like that. This is the sign of a mature person and as I said,
and this will surely lead your Mr. or Miss. Rude to some shame. So say a thank you and
find your way out.
I have often been a part of a conversation where people sort of criticize me for my choice
to be a teacher. Like an English teacher or a life skills coach or a life skills trainer.
They try to belittle me by their comments. For example recently at a party, one of my
uncles, he told me, why are you a teacher? We don't need them anymore. You would rather
be a doctor and do some good to society. I was like, really? Well, I told him, Sir, I
appreciate your perspective but teachers are the ones who make doctors too, isn't it? And
the person was quiet. Wow, that was smart. So while I made my point smartly, I didn't
even sound rude at all. So because of the phrase that I used, I sounded really polite.
So the next time, you're commented about your appearance. Maybe your profession, your religion
or your race, your colour, you can definitely respond with a phrase like this which does
not sound rude and you can make your point as well. You could say, I appreciate your
perspective but whatever you wanna add. So use this phrase, and it will definitely help
you, find your way, away from a very rude conversation.
So just imagine that, when I told that person, Sir, I appreciate your perspective but the
teachers make the doctors too. For goodness sake, he was quiet and he didn't respond back
to me. But, just in case, if he had carried on with something like, uh come on, teaching
is old age stuff. You are paid for doing nothing. I would seriously want to give a rude reply
and I would be very furious. I would actually want to say, will you shut up? Or even worst
begin a fight. But I can't-do that, right? I'm at a party, I'm with my uncle. He’s
much older than me, almost my dad's age and this is not at all a polite way to behave.
I'm sure that if I say that, I would definitely regret it later. I would instead; you know
feel very bad about it. So instead of this, I chose to something like I think we better
stop this conversation now. So before the argument gets very heated and you know, you
begin to react with a rude reply. You could say something like this so that you are keeping
calm also and you are not feeling very frustrated. So you could say that it's okay, I think we
should stop this conversation right now. Well, you don't wanna burn the brides right? You
still wanna see that person again and you definitely will have to see them again. Then
why not just end the conversation on a good note? And save yourself of all the regret
you will feel if you go up to them ever for any favour or any help. So I'm sure you wanna,
face that person again. So take my advice and use this phrase that I've shared with
you to reply to a rude comment.
Sometimes, people don't think twice before they speak and they can even body shame you
mean give you some bad comments about your body or the way you appear in public. I have
often heard people saying, things like, hey what happened, you've gained so much weight.
Do you have a medical problem? And these are those people who don't even talk to you. They
don’t know anything about your life. They see you like once in a year over an occasion
and they ask you such a question. You could be like, yes maybe I do have a medical problem
but I don't owe an explanation to you for my weight gain. So the crux is, if you don’t
like what someone said to you, you can be clear and explain to the other person, exactly
what it is that you didn't like. So if you didn’t like them telling you, that you're
gaining too much weight and you know, if you have a medical problem. You could simply put
it across. By doing so, you will protect yourself from any future remarks like that. But how
to do it? So you could do this by, saying something like, these words really hurt my
feelings and then you could quote the words. So if someone says something way too rude
to you, or body shame you. If they tell you that you are getting more fat day by day or
anything like that, which hurts you. You could surely say these words. These words hurt my
feelings and please don’t say it again.
Okay, so I'm one of those people who have a real hard time accepting someone else's
point of view. I always want to put my point of view across over any topic. Like, I would
not give up easily in an argument. so after many heated arguments and debates that I’ve
had with people at my workplace in the past and sometimes in my family also, I have learnt
one good lesson that if you think, that there is some truth in what the person said which
often happens. Sometimes they say something and you feel like, okay maybe she's just a
little bit right. Then you have to eat the frog which means that you have to tell them,
that they are right. But say it as you mean it and not like you're right. Not like that,
you've to tell them, yes you are right and I accept your opinion. Most probably they'll
leave the place feeling like they’ve won the argument. So just go and use a phrase,
you're right, to cut a long argument short. Most people find it really hard to say this
but I think you should practise saying, you are right, a little bit more if you are one
of those people.
The next way to cut an argument short is, by saying I love you. Yes, you got me right
and even a warm kiss. I’m not joking of course now. Obviously, you won't do this to
your boss. But you can obviously do this to your spouse, right? There’s nothing wrong
with it. So instead of saying, I'm so sorry, if you tell your spouse, I love you that would
definitely melt them right before you. I love you work much better than I'm sorry with your
spouse. You can take me, by the word. As I told you in the beginning of the lesson, this
is a tried and tested phrase. So, definitely, you can use this phrase, with your spouse,
be careful, not to use it with everyone around you.
This one is the last nail in the coffin, which means that is the best thing to do and the
most ultimate thing to do in an argument if nothing works. Just laugh, most probably,
if you laugh in a heated argument, the other person will feel like why is she laughing?
Why is he laughing? They’ll be so confused and baffled that they would just leave and
you'll save yourself so much trouble. In another case, if you start laughing, they might realize
that they have said something wrong and they would even apologize to you. So this trick
is, laugh out the argument, okay with your best friend, with people you don’t even
know or people who are your acquaintance, laugh and finish the arguments.
So in the end, I'm here to remind you to keep calm and not be very angry, put your point
across, laugh much, say I love you if you have to, say I'm sorry if you have to and
say you're right if you need to say that. Use all of these phrases to end the arguments
in a good way and not to burn the bridges. So here are some ways to respond to rude comments
and too rude people. I will still remind you to stay in control and to be strong. So smile
and spread smiles and I'll see you all very soon on Skillopedia, the place to learn skills
for the real world.