- In this video, I'm gonna show you exactly what to do
to get them hooked in the early stages of dating.
And I'm gonna show you what you must not do,
which completely repels them
from being and understanding who you are
and feeling into that.
And then also, it literally will repel their energy
if you do this.
Now, when it comes to magnetic energy
and when it comes to dating,
one of the most important things to remember is,
people feel what you feel about you.
How you feel in your body is being projected out
and other people feel that.
And also, we are projecting out what self-esteem is,
it's a projection of who we believe we are
in our own self-image.
So if we have a self-image that says "I'm weak,
I'm not a strong person,"
or "I'm awkward" or "I'm insecure" or "I'm shy
and there's something wrong with being shy,"
which there's not.
Then what happens is we literally project that energy out
and people feel it.
And it literally repels love or people
from just resonating with us.
Now, the key is softening that up
and realizing your own sense of self-worth.
The more worthy and the more love you feel,
the more magnetic you will be.
Now, at the same time with this,
there's a book that I wanna share with you
that almost looks like it doesn't relate to this topic,
but I promise you, it does.
Now, I'm getting ready soon
to start, like, a membership community
slash, like, accountability monthly subscription.
And this is something that I'm growing
in certain, within the next month or two,
and I'm reading books about something called retention.
Now, retention is this idea of kind of getting people hooked
and not only hooked, but getting people to stay
'cause it's like, "Okay, if I'm gonna start this membership,
I want to get people in it
and I want people to stay in it for a long time
because it's awesome."
And it over-delivers.
And people love the community.
They love the accountability and all that.
While reading this book,
it talks about something called the retention point,
which very much relates to magnetic energy
and getting people hooked and staying.
So it uses this example.
Here's the example.
It says, there's a point.
It studied Netflix shows.
And when you're watching a Netflix show,
let's say you're watching Breaking Bad
or you're watching Ozarks
or you're watching some other Netflix show.
There's something called the retention point.
Now, the retention point is,
if you get to a certain episode in a certain show,
there's a higher likelihood
that you will finish the whole entire series.
So for example, in Breaking Bad,
it might be episode four or five.
If you watch Breaking Bad up to episode four or five
and you finish it, there's an 80% chance
that you will finish the whole entire series
because you have then been hooked
and retention throughout the whole series.
So that's called the retention point.
So think about it.
And when you're thinking of that,
of dating somebody, there's a point to where
if you're dating somebody and you show the real you
and you're in this energy with this person,
that once something happens,
once they're in a way energetically hooked,
they will then stay and feel it out,
and there'll be that retention.
So retention is something, it's a moment
in time when someone decides "This is my person,
this is someone I'm interested,
this is someone I'm gonna see through."
So in the same way
that Netflix shows might have a retention point
to when then somebody is really bought in,
to then they stay, the same type of energy exists in dating.
And what the goal is in.
Okay, so if I look at that retention point book or whatever,
I'm now applying that to the course I'm creating.
It's like, how quickly can I get someone
to the retention point inside this new membership
I'm creating to where they say, "This is awesome,
these are my people, this is where I wanna be."
And to do that, there's different things I could do.
I could do this event where I call people out
and I get people engaged with each other
and people feel awesome.
It's an emotion.
That's what the retention point is.
An emotion where people feel hooked
because they are vibing with it.
They feel the emotion of it.
Now, when it comes to getting people hooked
in the early stages of dating, the key is understanding
that the energy you feel they're feeling,
but if you can energetically and emotionally connect
with them in the early stages of dating,
they will then see it through
and they will then be interested
because it is based on an emotion.
People feel and they make decisions based on emotion.
Most people.
They say that people make decisions based on emotions,
but then they, what do you call it?
They verify it or they, what is that called?
Something it with logic.
I'm thinking VeriFLY.
(Aaron laughing)
I travel a lot.
They validate it.
They validate it with logic.
So don't try to logic your way
into dating where it's like,
"Okay, I'm gonna say the right thing at the right moment
and they're just gonna like me then
and they're gonna realize who I am."
No, this is not a game of logic.
They're only gonna validate it with logic.
You're thinking they're gonna look at you,
"Oh yeah, well, it makes sense.
We see each other this often and blah, blah, blah."
That's not what leads them.
Emotion leads people into when it comes to dating.
So here's another thing that I wanna show you
that I don't want you to fall into
because I did for a while.
When you read books on dating, a lot of times,
they're very performance based.
Say the word, say the phrase, get them hooked like this,
do this, do this.
And a lot of it's very manipulative.
Well, that is also saying something to get a certain result.
It's a means to an end.
I'm gonna say this line to you
and then you're gonna be attracted.
The key needs to not be manipulative like that,
needs to not be a means to an end.
It needs to be present to the moment.
Present to the moment.
An end of itself.
It needs to be values that are led with
that hook people in because it's who you are.
There's one way you could go about something
and another way you go about something,
and the only thing that can change is the energy.
Doesn't have to be what you do,
but it's the where it's coming from.
So one of the things I highly recommend you do when it comes
to getting people hooked into the early stages
of dating is to not be afraid
to polarize the person you're with or you're dating.
Now, polarizing means that you say something bold
or that you really vulnerably express the real you.
Because a lot of times, people that are empaths
or people-pleasers, they have trouble being vulnerable,
showing the real you, showing the real emotion,
showing the real physical intimacy,
showing the real, like, making a move.
That sometimes can be something that people fear.
But the goal is to express the real you
and to be vulnerable.
On dating, for me, this meant when I saw my girlfriend,
I first met her, I realized that I had this thing
where I would kind of put off showing my attraction
to somebody else for weeks.
And then people would be like,
are they even attracted to me?
And they wouldn't understand.
Because they'd be like, "Well, I like him.
We're hanging out."
But what I eventually had to learn is I had
to learn how to actually put it out there and
to show that interest through my body language.
And I did that with my girlfriend
and it's been very strong polarity ever since
because of that, because I led
and I was physically vulnerable in that way.
But one of the most magnetic things you could do is
to be either physically vulnerable,
emotionally vulnerable, socially vulnerable.
And as you are vulnerable in that way,
you're showing the real you.
That is attractive.
That is very attractive and really does hook people in.
So this is really about understanding the dynamic of energy
when you start dating somebody and don't play it safe.
So many times people play it safe.
I'm gonna say the right thing to get the response.
I don't want them.
And here's the thing too that people do.
This will get them hooked too.
Feel safe in your own body and say things
that are funny to you.
Say things that are real to you.
'Cause a lot of times, people will tune themselves
to someone else.
What are you feeling?
How are you thinking?
And when we tune or are just focused
on them, them, them, them
because you're trying to get the validation
or love or approval or whatever, or them to validate you,
they feel that and it's unattractive.
It literally will repel them.
Remember this, neediness is the kryptonite to love.
Neediness blocks magnetic energy,
neediness blocks attraction.
What you want to learn is how to develop an energy
of non-neediness.
Now, neediness and non-neediness, this is the difference.
Neediness is you value what someone else thinks
of you more than what you value what you think of you.
Non-neediness is when you don't tune yourself
to someone else to get their validation, love or approval.
Because you feel it within yourself.
Remember, people feel what you feel.
So the name of this game is how can you feel inside
of your own body?
How can you love and say things because you think it's funny
and hopefully they think it's funny as well.
Of course, there's a balance to this.
An extreme version of this is called narcissism
where you're like, "Only what I matters.
Only what I think is valid."
That's different.
But when you say things because it's fun
or it's more expressive of yourself
and it's a little bit more bold
and maybe it does polarize them one way or the other,
that's a healthy thing.
Holding yourself back will be the thing that blocks them
from actually hooking into that retention point.
So, one of the most powerful things you can do
to get them hooked in the early stages of dating is
to actually be vulnerable to express the real you
and to emotionally connect with them.
Not to emotionally connect with them so you get
to the retention point, but to be curious about them,
to actually listen.
That's also very magnetic.
To listen.
Well, you're still feeling inside of your own body
and being present and enjoying it.
Also loosen up when it comes to dating.
The more fun you have with them,
the more likely also they're gonna, you know,
people feel what you feel.
If you're having fun, they're gonna feel that
and that energy's gonna leak through
and it's gonna be something that's very magnetic.
Having fun is a very important part of the process as well
because people feel what you feel.
And if you feel needy, remember, neediness is kryptonite.
If you feel needy, it's gonna repel them.
And all needy is, is you value what they think more
than you value what you think.
Means if they don't like you
or they feel a certain way about you,
that really affects you.
It doesn't have to.
The key is not tuning to the external for safety
and validation, it's tuning to the internal.
It's knowing your own sense of self-worth.
And I'd encourage you to draw it from a state of presence,
not from a state of, "Well, I do this for a living
and I make this much money, so I must be worthy
or I must not be worthy."
No, you are worthy because you exist.
You are just worthy for being you.
Be present in your body.
Feeling your hands, feeling your feet.
I know these things sound simple,
these embodiment exercises,
but it really does change a lot.
When you begin to embody this energy
and you stop attaching to other people's frame.
Magnetic energy really is something that everybody has.
Once you let go of neediness and you start
to develop this energy of non-neediness
which is not dependent on the outcome, but also feels safe
within itself and expresses that on the inside.
Also, something new I'm doing is if you want me to coach you
or to answer your question, I'm taking questions right now.
So all you gotta do is click the link below
or go to aarondoughty.com/question
and put in your question there
or text me at 424-304-0104 your question.
I'll go ahead and link that below
so you can just click that link and you can go
to that and text me your question.
I'll be using those questions in future videos
and I'll be replying as much as I can as well.
So with that being said, there's also a video right here,
the three magnetic secrets that will make you irresistible.
One of my most powerful new videos.
Watch this video right here.
In this video, I'm gonna show you the three things
that magnetic people do to pull you in energetically.
I'm gonna show you how you can adopt them
in your life and how by the end of this video,
you're gonna have.