Honesty is the best policy, but if something you’re going to say is hurtful or upset
your partner.
It’s important to remember that some things are better left unsaid.
It’s important to remember before you say something.
To ask yourself, is this gonna strengthen the relationship.
Is it gonna help promote it’s growth?
If not you might want to rethink saying it.
Today on reaction reset, I’m gonna talk about five things that are better left unsaid.
Some people have difficulties sharing their feelings, and others share them so much and
have no filter.
In fact many clients who come, their main issue is struggling and feeling from something
their partner said that was hurtful and their partner had not evaluated what it would do
to the relationship before they said it.
While it’s not good to hold your true feelings in, there are some things that when they’re
said they were temporary feelings just passing by, and you shouldn’t have said them.
As a general rule, these five should be handled gently and delicately without forgoing the
truth.
The first one is if your relationship is new then it’s important to remember that anything
you say about the ex is probably left unsaid.
When you talk badly about your ex, it says something to your partner.
It can be hurtful to your partner and it may make your partner less trusting of you because
if all the blame and all the complaint is on your partner or you demonize your partner.
It’s not gonna look well on you.
Number two, it’s not important to tell your partner when you get complimented by the opposite
sex.
You know, it’s a form of flattery when someone says something nice about us, but feeling
like you have to go home and tell your partner maybe you’re trying to make them jealous.
Maybe you’re feeling like you’re not getting the attention you need from them.
It would be better to discuss those issues without bringing in any compliments you got
from someone else.
I’m sure your partner knows that in the world there are a lot of people who compliment
his wife or her husband.
If you find someone attractive, it’s not necessary to tell your partner.
It’s a real world and you’re always going to be attracted to other people, but when
you tell your partner that then you make your partner less confident in what the two of
you share.
They may even not trust you as much.
It’s going to end up causing more problems in your relationship, than if you just kept
it to yourself.
Fourth, you should not tell your partner a constant reminder of their physical flaws.
Everyone is flawed and everyone has areas they need to strengthen.
They need to work on it.
Anyone who is overweight knows it and a better approach is saying listen lets both go this
year in getting in shape.
Like we can start hiking.
These things are going to start enhancing your marriage, opening up communication and
making your partner feel supported.
Plus let’s face it, we live in a fast-pace world.
We all could do better to embrace healthy lifestyles.
Lastly, if there’s things you don’t like about your partner’s family or their best
friends those issues are probably better left unsaid.
When you talk badly about someone your partner loves, they’re going to feel a need to defend
themselves.
When they defend themselves, they’re putting a wall between you and them.
It’s never gonna go well and after the argument, your partner is gonna feel less understood
by you and you may start feeling more resentful because you feel like they’re blocking you
out.
That block was created because they felt like they had to defend the person they love.
If you’re married, many of your feelings are already felt by your partner.
They know who you like and who you don’t like, their family and their friends.
When you constantly talk about it, nag about it, complain about it.
You just reinforce your partner to retreat to a safe place.
Pretty soon, it’s possible they will not share any information and you could begin
feeling excluded.
The key to a healthy relationship is trust, if your partner asks you directly for feedback
then you should be honest and open with them.
If your partner knows you trust them and love them, then any information you share will
be done with care and consideration.
Remember change your reaction, change your world.