you have an interesting birthday your
birthday is november 3rd
now this year obviously that this year
november 3rd is going to be a
fraught day for a lot of people
regardless of your political orientation
it's going to be a tense day
filled with uh maybe anger uh anxiety
and it's your birthday you know what are
you
what are you going to do this november
3rd are you still going to try and have
a conventional birthday
no there's no way anyone's going to be
at my party not looking at the tv going
see this is what's wrong with our
country this isn't and i'm like hey
happy birthday no that's not going to
happen
i'm thinking about i'm thinking about
getting a cabin in the woods and taking
my girls out there so that when la's
done burning
we can come in and claim our balls
you know la can burn and it doesn't have
to be political it could just be
someone someone dropped a cigarette like
60 miles from here
you know so uh yeah don't worry i mean
but i i
i i i have sympathy for you that your
birthday is on november 3rd
i'm curious do you have a memory of a
birthday in your life that was a life
changer like a day that just stands out
to you
as that was the birthday that was really
important to me
yeah yeah it's not a good one but yeah
my 26th birthday
i just moved to new york i was saying i
was getting into stand-up i really
wasn't doing anything i was just
partying
and november 2nd we got really lit
because you party
up till midnight on your birth you know
that's how i used to do it
you say one does that uh i don't do that
but that's what you do
okay all right yeah and so i
i woke up really hung over to my phone
ringing and it was my dad
and i was on the couch like i was on i
didn't even make it to my loft bed
in new york i'm on the couch and i go
you know what i'm just gonna answer the
phone and let them say happy birthday to
me real quick and then i'm gonna go back
to bed i'm hungover
so i just grabbed the phone like hey
what's up i need just cause
you are a human piece of garbage
like yo what he was like he was like
he goes i just perjured myself i
just persuaded myself i was in court and
the judge said
hey how's your son doing and i said
great i lied
because i couldn't say your honor my son
is no humility he's a garbage he says
he's going to do something
and he doesn't do it and i go i go dad
it's my birthday he goes i know what day
it is
and he called you he called you human
garbage on your birthday
the first and he broke me down so bad
you have no humility i messed you up
you're just gonna be a party boy
you're the number one party animal keep
partying party boy i'll pay for it
you don't have to do anything you'll
never achieve anything in life you say
you want to be a comic you won't be a
comic
and then i i was like hey i how do i fix
this because you can't fix it you can't
you can't you don't have the capability
i messed up as a man as a father i
messed you up so just don't worry about
it go party your balls off tonight i was
like hold on
i said i need to fix this and he goes if
you want to fix this you go to that
comedy club that you've been hanging out
at
drinking beers and you tell them you'll
do anything you'll mop
up you'll that's how it works he goes no
that's not how it works for you
because you've been given everything in
your life because let me tell you
something some young black kid in harlem
is doing that today and he will succeed
because he has
he has what it takes to get to the next
level you don't have it i go okay i'll
do it
so i go that night i told my remember
tell my dad i can't do tonight i have a
party and he goes
you don't deserve a party what are you
partying for
and so i went i didn't go out that night
i went to the comedy club i
talked to the guy louis schaefer i said
hey um i want to be a comic i'll do
anything he told me to move back to
florida and i was like
okay i loved him whatever so i go back i
call my dad the next morning
he said how'd it go i said he told me to
move back florida he goes perfect
he goes you go to that club again
tonight pretend you've never had that
conversation
and start from zero say hey my name's
burt christo i'd like to be a comedian
and when he
shoots you down again you show up the
next night you show up you show up
persistent
and humble and that is how you leave
your life and i went okay
it sounded crazy to me and i did it the
next night and louis ever goes i thought
i told you move back to florida and i
said listen
yesterday was my dad my birthday my dad
called me a human visa garbage told me i
wasn't worth anything
i'm gonna be doing this until my dad
says i have to stop so i'm going to be
here every single night he goes listen
if you want to work the door you can
work the door if you bring in 25 people
i'll put you on the end of the night
and i was like for real and he was like
yeah i called my dad
i was so excited i go work he goes of
course it worked he goes you approach
stuff with humility
and i'm telling you conan six months
later will smith discovered me
i started doing television and if it
wasn't for that 26th
birthday break off my dad gave me it
hurts
so bad yeah i wouldn't be talking to you
right now you know i feel like i've done
a pretty good job in my career my dad
calls me
every birthday and says you're a human
piece of garbage
and then i'm like what and he goes like
wait oh i'm sorry and he's like i
thought i was talking
to one of your brothers