When we think of The Simpsons' holiday episodes, our thoughts immediately turn to Halloween
due to the wildly successful "Treehouse of Horror" stories.
However, Springfield's favorite family has starred in plenty of Christmas adventures.
In fact, here are 15 of them, ranked from worst to best, according to fans on IMDb.
Aired in December 2006, "Kill Gil, Volumes I & II" finds the Simpsons taking pity on
Springfield's eternally down-on-his-luck businessman, Gil.
They even invite him to stay at their home for Christmas.
Unfortunately, Marge has a hard time saying "no," and Gil ends up crashing at their place
for 11 months.
They're a hilarious 11 months to be sure, but they push Marge and the family to the
edge.
By the time Marge finally works up the gumption to kick Gil out, she discovers that he just
left on his own.
However, with a need for closure, the family drives all the way to Arizona so Marge can
tell Gil exactly how she feels.
Like most Simpsons episodes, this one is packed with great lines but there's one that stands
above the rest.
"Why did you let that loser into our home?"
"I'll tell you why: Christian Charity."
"Christian Charity?
What does a porn star have to do with this?"
In the episode "White Christmas Blues," climate change has made it far too hot for snow to
fall throughout the vast majority of America — except for Springfield.
As it turns out, pollution from the town's nuclear power plant combines with smoke from
its perpetually burning tire yard to create freak conditions allowing for snow.
So, an influx of tourists dash into Springfield to experience a traditional white Christmas.
The town becomes so overrun that hotels are turning people away.
In need of holiday money, Marge decides to take in some boarders, despite Homer's objections.
"Uh-uh, no way.
I'm not sharing my bed with anybody except you.
And maybe that guy.
Lincoln-style.
But that's it."
Eventually, the guests become so rude and demanding that they nearly destroy the Simpsons'
holiday spirit — but we all know that Marge would never let that happen.
"The Fight Before Christmas" would go down as a pretty standard Simpsons holiday episode,
were it not for the final of its four Christmas-themed segments.
To wrap the episode up, The Simpsons switches its format from animation to puppetry, and
the cast turns into full-on felt-and-stuffing Muppets.
This sudden switch was pretty stunning to some fans but the show had yet another surprise
lined up.
After being edited out of a Sesame Street episode for dressing in a way that some people
considered too risque for a children's show, Katy Perry drops by the Simpsons holiday special
for a live-action celebrity cameo.
Unfortunately, even that wasn't enough to impress some viewers.
"Last night, I had a visit from three spirits."
"I wish this show had a visit from three new writers."
Penned by O.G.
Simpsons writer and longtime showrunner Al Jean, "I Won't Be Home for Christmas" finds
Marge enraged when Homer stays out too late on Christmas Eve.
However, Homer only gets held up because Moe needs some company to help him through an
extra-difficult spell of holiday-related loneliness.
This season 26 episode makes plenty of gestures toward emphasizing the importance of family
and togetherness and all that, but without any genuine conflict, the story glides through
your brain without leaving much to remember it by.
Although, in one scene, Homer stumbles across Gil in a movie theater, which raises the question:
Why is Gil in so many Simpsons holiday episodes?
We're not even in the top ten yet, and he's already popped up twice.
Once again, Gil manages to find his way into yet another Simpsons Christmas special.
In "'Tis the 30th Season," Marge rescues Gil from being trampled at a Black Friday sale
and helps him secure a plush toy for his grandchild.
Later in the episode, Homer and the kids decide to give Marge a break for the holidays, and
the family heads to Florida.
The only problem is that Homer books them a room in a seriously dingy motel.
Plus, the nearby theme park isn't any better with its shabby Hall of Vice Presidents and
assortment of bizarre cartoon character mascots.
"'Tis the 30th Season" also marks another instance of the show's writers parodying the
famous "horse head" scene from The Godfather.
"I shot my best friend in the face."
"Simpsons Christmas Stories" stands as the second anthology episode on this list and
includes three holiday tales.
The middle story is the real standout here and focuses on Grampa reminiscing to Bart
and Lisa about why he wants to kill Santa Claus.
Without giving too much away, this 2005 episode features the first and last appearance of
Great Uncle Cyrus Simpson, who lives in Tahiti with his 15 wives and presumably several Simpsons
cousins and second cousins.
It also boasts an amazing flashback sequence of a young Grampa and Mr. Burns marooned on
an island, where Santa and his reindeer find themselves in some dangerous situations.
"I'm just missing Prancer and Rudolph."
In '''Tis the Fifteenth season," Homer demonstrates ample selfishness by buying an expensive gizmo
for himself, severely limiting the rest of the family's Christmas budget.
After watching a Mr. Magoo-inspired cartoon that mimics A Christmas Carol, Homer decides
to be the most charitable person in town, instead of a selfish oaf.
This development enrages Ned Flanders, because being charitable is his trademark.
Later in the episode, Homer pulls a "Grinch who stole Christmas" because Lisa tells him
everyone would be happier if society was a little less materialistic.
As a whole, "'Tis the Fifteenth Season" demonstrates how television writers can copy and paste
pre-existing pop culture and explain that their intent was satire or homage, as opposed
to exploring new ideas.
When Homer tells his family about the cartoon he watched, Lisa explains to him that the
storyline is nothing new.
"Dad, what you saw was a Christmas Carol.
It was written by Charles Dickens 160 years ago."
"Yeah, TV writers have been milking that goat for years."
After Mr. Burns pays for repairs at Reverend Lovejoy's church during season thirteen's
"She of Little Faith," the heartless miser insists that the place of worship be covered
in advertising.
Upset by the feckless capitalism and trivialized spirituality, Lisa converts to Buddhism with
a little help from guest star Richard Gere.
Once again, The Simpsons stumbles into the paradox that has sunk other episodes: It wants
to use religion for comedic purposes but runs up against an imperative to never suggest
that mainstream religion is funny.
Luckily, this episode doesn't feel like a cop-out.
"Ohhh, you'll get yours."
During the story's second half, Marge's campaign to lure Lisa back into the flock gets so manipulative
that even Homer gives her an incredulous glance, making this a rare Simpsons episode in which
Homer plays the voice of reason.
In season eleven's "Grift of the Magi ," "Kid First Industries" bails out Springfield Elementary,
and much like the narrative of "She of Little Faith," commercialization runs totally amok.
Quite unlike "She of Little Faith," this episode features a celebrity cameo from Gary Coleman
that feels inspired and purposeful, in contrast to Richard Gere's walk-on.
It's hard to say how many members of the television-viewing public under 40 years old have ever seen Different
Strokes.
But even if younger fans don't recognize Coleman, plenty of viewers know that he delivered one
of the best Simpsons cameos ever.
"I'm sorry Gary, there's no longer a place for you here."
"Whatchu you talkin' about, Miss Neagle?"
"That is so adorable.
You're rehired."
"The Way of the Dog" is a 2020 episode that finds Santa's Little Helper losing control
of his unresolved emotional issues, which leads to him getting a little bitey with Marge.
A dog behaviorist voiced by Cate Blanchett figures out that his problems are related
to trauma from when he was a puppy.
So, the Simpsons track down a dog trainer who proudly admits to separating their pooch
from his mother.
Of course, the family has a perfectly natural reaction to this news.
(Slap) "Ow."
(Slap.
Slap.)
"Here, Maggie" (Slap) "Ow."
The episode ends with the Simpsons bringing home Santa's Little Helper's mother, the perfectly
named She Biscuit.
Bart accidentally melts the family's plastic Christmas tree and destroys all of their presents
in the episode "Miracle on Evergreen Terrace."
Being Bart, he blames the whole fiasco on an imaginary burglar.
After a news report airs about the supposed break-in, the residents of Springfield rally
together to give the Simpsons a merry Christmas.
When the truth eventually comes out, there's an understandable backlash against the family.
The final few minutes, in which the town righteously loots 742 Evergreen Terrace, are easily the
funniest few of the entire episode.
"If you're heading for the medicine cabinet, I already been there."
In "Skinner's Sense of Snow," a blizzard traps Bart, Lisa, and plenty of other students at
Springfield Elementary during the final day before winter break.
Most of the jokes in the episode revolve around Principal Skinner's futile attempt to maintain
order.
Eventually, Skinner starts to lose his cool and takes his frustrations out on Groundskeeper
Willie.
That's the last time you'll slap your Willie around.
I quit."
There are also a few apparent lapses of in-story logic here, and not necessarily the kind we
can wave off just because it's a cartoon.
Lisa revels in anti-establishment chaos in a manner that clashes with the highly respectful
attitude toward the education system she usually displays.
Plus, Skinner spends much of the episode's second half stuck in a dodgeball bag that
doesn't seem like it should be able to bind an adult human.
Speaking of Skinner's adulthood, this episode aired in 2000 and states his age as 40.
But in a flashback, it also depicts him as an adult soldier during the Vietnam War.
For many fans, some of the most memorable Simpsons episodes and segments take place
in the future.
It's always fun to see how much Lisa has achieved and how little Bart has changed.
The 2011 episode "Holidays of Future Passed" is no exception.
Thirty years in the future, the Simpsons reunite to spend Christmas together.
Along the way, we learn that Lisa is a successful business woman and, with her husband Milhouse,
has an angsty teenage daughter.
Bart, of course, is a down-and-out divorced dad.
But the big surprise here is that Maggie is a world-famous rock star and she recently
gave birth to her first child.
The story also features ungrateful Simpson grandkids, dozens of adult Ralph Wiggum clones,
and an unusually optimistic vision of Homer as an old man.
But the emotional highlight of the episode occurs when Bart and Lisa have a few too many
drinks in their old treehouse and Bart makes a confession to his overachieving sister.
"You're the person I always wanted to be."
"Awww…" (hugs)
The series premiere of the longest-running scripted television show in the history of
the medium almost feels too historic to be contextualized as one of several holiday-specific
Simpsons episodes.
But then again, it is very much a Simpsons holiday special, even if it might also be
other things of equal or greater significance.
It took The Simpsons until roughly eight episodes into its second season to really figure itself
out and rise to the immaculate level we associate with the show.
But "Simpsons Roasting on an Open Fire" certainly contains hints of the absurdity, irreverent
self-awareness, and heart that was coming down the pipeline.
Maybe "hints" is putting it too lightly.
Homer's stint as a mall Santa is very absurd.
Bart's dialogue is already very irreverent and self-aware.
And the family's decision to give Santa's Little Helper a forever home, even though
he failed to win them a dime at the race track, checks off the heart box, for sure.
Ironically, the top-ranking Simpsons holiday episode according to fans isn't really about
Christmas.
To put it more precisely, "Marge Be Not Proud," isn't addressing boilerplate, generalized
themes about family or togetherness.
Instead, it's the definitive Bart episode, with Christmas functioning as a plot device.
In the story, the eldest Simpson child gets busted shoplifting a video game, and Marge
responds as if it's the worst thing he's ever done.
Sure, Bart caused an international incident as recently as the previous season, but in
terms of the kind of non-fantastical mischief that a ten-year-old boy could commit in real
life, ripping off the Try-N-Save is his greatest transgression.
Bart puts actual effort into reestablishing the doting mother-son dynamic he rejects at
the beginning of the episode when he claims that he's not a little kid anymore.
While he's happy to play the part of his generation's Dennis the Menace, he doesn't want his mayhem
to go too far and alienate his family.
Or, for that matter, his audience.
"Marge Be Not Proud" established a rule The Simpsons has more or less followed since:
Bart's shenanigans must remain either too cartoony for reality or too harmless for anyone
to take seriously.
His character walks that fine line and usually caps it off with one of his many catchphrases.
"Eat my shorts."
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