BRANDON PETULLA: I thought I would sell myself to Satan. I mean I was in a sense going insane.
That was my OCD.
BRANDON PETULLA: My name is Brandon Petulla, I am 22 and I am a freelance photographer,
as well as a graphic designer.
BRANDON PETULLA: I think the first time I ever, like, kind of, noticed OCD I
was about six and I had this weird obsession of whatever I do with my right hand, I had
to do with my left. So at first it, kind of, started with, like, handpicking and weird
habits of my skin and then it developed into me being incredibly cautious with food in
terms of contamination. Once I turned 17, that’s when it, kind of, went into overdrive.
BRANDON PETULLA: My OCD and food habits got, like, more severe than it ever was. I was
eating like a bird.
JIMI PETULLA: Around his senior year of high school he came to me saying that he was, he was
having anxiety at that time. He was starting to, you know, do these little ritual things.
He got a lot skinnier. He got smaller. It was a lot of crying. And he started to bring up
this devil stuff and, ‘Dad, am I going to go to hell? If I am gay or something does
that mean I am going to burn in hell?’
BRANDON PETULLA: So, a lot of my OCD as it started was centred around religious issues
but I had an extreme obsession with, like, the devil and, like, selling, like, accidentally
selling my soul to Satan. That’s, like, the reason why I stopped eating. So I would
get a thought in my head, take a bite of a sandwich and it would be like, ‘If you take
this bite, like, this means you are selling your soul to Satan,’ which is, like, ridiculous
but in my head I was like, ‘Oh, my god! Well, now I can’t eat this.’ And then
it started to get more physical when I would, like, go around the house and literally blessing
objects and, like, draw like a cross, I mean, like, weird, like, superstitious things like
that and I would start, like, reading the Bible and like reading verses and like writing
them down and put them on my wall and, like, I started sleeping with a crucifix. And, like,
it just got incredibly weird.
JIMI PETULLA: He didn’t have any kind of
religion thrown on him but yet he was having these sudden fears about hell and the devil.
I mean as a parent to see your son, like, this was, it was awful. When I finally brought
Brandon to Dr. Gorbis for treatment, it was, he looked bad.
BRANDON PETULLA: Dr. Gorbis obviously was, like, the main person to help me, like, through everything.
DR EDA GORBIS: May I, Brandon? BRANDON PETULLA: Hi!
DR EDA GORBIS: Brandon, how many years it’s been?
BRANDON PETULLA: I mean I haven’t seen you in, like, years.
DR EDA GORBIS: It’s fantastic. It’s fantastic. You are smiling. Your eyes are so alive.
DR EDA GORBIS: The type of OCD that he had is extremely difficult to treat because
a lot is hidden.
BRANDON PETULLA: It was always the same mantra in my head, like, ‘If you do this... you
are selling your soul.’ And, so, when I went into therapy I, kind of, had to, like,
reverse that way of thinking and actually, like, write it down. And then once I kept
doing it, like, I started getting comfortable with it.
DR EDA GORBIS: That’s the key because it’s chronic, it’s a medical illness and it’s
not going to go away anywhere and it will exacerbate. I love this. This is absolute,
you know, because people clean, right, with OCD.
BRANDON PETULLA: I think the funniest treatment I did with Gorbis was most of the sticky note
ideas. I am super artistic. So, they were trying to get me comfortable with the idea of
being uncomfortable. They would lock me in Dr. Gorbis’s room for sessions. They wanted
me to, basically, put sticky notes on the wall to create a mural or, like, something
pretty. I was like, ‘Okay, I can do that.’ And then they were like, ‘But on each sticky
note you have to write Satan or 666 or you are selling your soul to Satan.’ I just,
kind of, was learning that it’s just words that are just coming out of my mouth and they
don’t actually mean anything and it slowly, it became easier. But it took some time.
BRANDON PETULLA: Because my OCD was so object oriented, I started getting, like, back in
to the obsession of creating objects again.
DR EDA GORBIS: Amazing! So, even you are using the images and your talent now to combat OCD.
BRANDON PETULLA: Yeah!
JIMI PETULLA: I am very proud of Brandon that what he has done. You have got to be very
disciplined to do the work, to recover. Doing this therapy is... harder than writing a
thesis for college under pressure.
BRANDON PETULLA: It was really hard at first and then even today, like, I will still compulse
today. You know, it’s part of having OCD. Like, OCD will always be a part of me in a
sense, like; I can’t get rid of it. So, I have to live with it.
DR EDA GORBIS: Each person is like a diamond or snowflake, very individual. With Brandon,
he made an enormous success, definitely very fascinating.
DR EDA GORBIS: Brandon, you are unforgettable.