So it's probably because it's the first day of spring,
you're excited for that right.
[CHEERING]
[APPLAUSE]
It is a wonderful time of year, and one
of the popular spring activities in California is wine tasting.
Has anybody ever been wine tasting?
[CHEERING]
Any of you tasted wine yet today?
[LAUGHTER]
It seems like you've started early.
Wine tasting to me is really just an excuse to drink.
It makes it look like it's not a problem, because you
get lots of glasses.
And you're wine tasting.
And then we do it one time, and then we
go to a restaurant we think we're experts.
I don't know why this is, but when you order wine, especially
if it's a nice bottle if you go through the whole menu,
and you pick out a bottle, and then they bring you the bottle.
They don't just open it, they show you the bottle.
They present the bottle to you.
And you have to go, yep, you did it, you brought it to me.
You got it right, Mister.
Then they take the cork out, and then they
put the cork on the table.
And just stand there, and you're like, oh, I'm
supposed to smell the cork, of course.
And so then you're, mm, cork.
And then you put that down, and then they
pour a tiny, tiny bit in your glass.
And you swirl it around, because you know you've learned that.
And you swirl it, and you smell it, and you swirl it again.
You don't know what you're doing.
You're just swirling it, smelling it.
And then you taste it, and you're like, mm.
Yep, that's good.
And then they pour the rest in your glass.
And finally you do what you came to do, just get drunk and hook
up with a stranger.
You just-- that's what you want.
[APPLAUSE]
Drinking wine is an entire experience.
There are different notes you're supposed to taste.
It'll say like this note has a taste of chocolate.
I don't know what they're talking about.
I taste-- the only time I've tasted chocolate
is when I'm eating chocolate.
Then I know that there's chocolate there.
I've never had wine and go, I taste chocolate.
And then there's one that says it has hints of oak in it.
And I don't-- I've never had oak.
I don't know what that tastes like.
I'm not a termite, I don't know what that tastes like.
I found a couple of wine reviews that I want to share with.
You this is a real review for a bottle of Cabernet Sauvignon.
And it says tobacco, rich soil, metal.
And then pencil shavings are in there as well.
Further down, it says delicious.
It's like you're kissing a Home Depot employee, or something.
Here's another one for a Pinot Noir,
and it says smoke and toast.
So you don't know if you're having a nice glass of wine,
or a stroke.
You really don't know--
Isn't that you're supposed to smell when you're having a--
Here's what we're going to do today.
I got some wines and some wine reviews.
I want to see if anyone here can taste those flavors.
Nicolette [? Tavasole? ?] Where are you?
[CHEERING]
Come on down.
[MUSIC PLAYING]
Hi.
How are you?
I'm good, how are you?
I'm good.
All right, Nicolette.
Thank you, [? Xeni. ?] Appreciate it.
Come on.
Hi.
You love wine?
Yes, I do.
Well, this is a wonderful activity for you, then.
Look, we've got three bottles of it so.
We'll be here a while.
This is great.
OK.
So where do you live?
In Mesa, Arizona.
[CHEERING]
Oh.
A lot of people representing Arizona in the house.
What do you do there?
I'm a financial crime specialist.
I don't know what that means.
OK.
I want you to taste these wines, and I want you
to-- if you can guess one of the descriptions
that the wine has in it.
And then you can let me know.
All right.
Have you ever been wine tasting?
Yes, I have.
Oh, good.
So you know what you're doing.
Yes.
OK.
I'm a natural.
All right.
Nicolette, just-- Yep, that's right.
Mm-hm.
What do you taste in there?
Tastes like a Merlot.
It's not, it's a Bordeaux.
Maybe 1979.
I don't know the year.
I get-- I do not think it's a 1979.
I will tell you, I am not going to let you taste in 1979.
I'm taking that home with me, if there's a 1979.
Um, it tastes woodsy.
Woodsy.
Yeah, maybe oak.
Maybe oak.
There is oak in there.
Is there?
Yes.
Cherry, maybe.
Some berries, maybe.
You're just guessing things.
Taste it and tell me really what you taste,
because there's some things in here
that I want to know if you taste.
Mm.
Oh.
I don't know there-- it has a weird aftertaste.
That tastes like a little bit--
I don't know.
Like oak, maybe.
Like--
Well, you said oak already.
So you're obviously drunk already.
Maybe pine?
Well, no.
There's no pine and oak.
You can't mix your woods.
Everyone knows you can mix pine and oak.
Put that down.
Let's try the next one, and see what this one is.
But you know you guessed oak.
That's kind of just a broad generic guess.
So I don't really give you points for that.
I don't get credit for that.
But what-- do you want crackers or Ellen Water to--
I need to clear my palate.
Cleanse the palate.
Yeah.
Here you go.
You can have a cracker.
I got these at communion.
[LAUGHTER]
A little bland.
Yeah.
Well, yeah, that's the point.
Yeah.
Have some more Ellen Water.
You know the slogan.
It tastes funny.
All right.
OK.
All right.
That's the next one.
Tell me what that tastes like.
Mm.
This one tastes like--
definitely fruity.
Yeah, it's made with grapes.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't know if it's my lunch earlier,
but I tasted a little kale.
Like a little bit of kale.
No, it could still be-- you could maybe
have kale in your teeth that you didn't swallow.
No, there's no kale in there.
There's an interesting flavor in here,
they say, that I-- it would be interesting.
Do you taste any pickle juice?
It says a hint of pickle juice.
Oh, I love pickles.
Really?
Yeah, I don't taste pickles, though.
Dusty leather?
Do you taste that?
Dusty leather.
Like a couch?
Not just leather.
Dusty-- yeah.
Like a dusty couch.
Yeah.
It does taste a little antiquey.
Dark fruit.
You said fruit earlier.
Lilies, candy.
So this is a more expensive one.
This is $125, this is $89.
So this just last one.
Let's see with this one is, OK?
And see if you enjoy this.
What have you liked so far--
I shouldn't have told you the prices.
I should have just asked you what you liked.
I like the expensive one.
Of course you do.
Yeah.
All right.
Now taste this one.
OK.
Let's see.
Mm, this one smells good.
You're barely swirling.
[LAUGHTER]
I don't want to spill on your stage.
Well, if you swirl right, you don't have to-- it's like
flipping the thing, and then--
Mm.
This one--
What is?
I would say a little bit more crisp.
So probably like, more like the lilies, maybe.
Do they put roses in wine?
Mm-mm.
No.
They don't put lilies in wine, either.
It's just-- it's the flavor and the smell and the--
Yeah.
So this one has a blueberry, menthol, notes of violet,
and crushed rocks.
Rock?
Yeah.
I don't taste that.
Do you taste crushed rocks?
Maybe some boulders?
And I'm wondering who has tasted crushed rocks
to actually review this, to say what,
I did taste crushed rocks.
That's what it tasted like.
All right.
So which one do you like of all of these.
I like this one the best.
Oh, your second one.
Because I said it was more expensive.
OK.
Well then you can take that to your seat.
Oh.
Yes, you can have that.
I'm so excited.
And then you know what pairs well with wine?
Grapes?
A dinner.
A dinner?
Yes.
So wherever you're going to dinner tonight, within reason,
is on me.
Thank you.
[APPLAUSE]
You're welcome.