If you’ve set out to learn about the INFJ personality type,
you’ve probably come across the idea of the INFJ door slam through your findings. We’ve touched on
the concept here on this channel, but there seems to be some confusion as to how to really know
if you’ve been door slammed, and whether or not to take it seriously.. So today, we’re
talking all about the 7 ways to know if you’ve been door slammed by the INFJ personality type.
Welcome or welcome back PSYCH-Os! Before we get into it, we’d love it if you liked and subscribe
to our channel, as well as to click the post notification bell so you never miss a video!
Number 1: They’ve finally expressed every disappointment they’ve had
Arguably, one of the best qualities of the INFJ is the maturity they have when it comes to the words
they use. This introspective type understands the power words have and the rippling capability of
verbal communication as a whole. They think before they speak and rarely say anything
that they later regret, because when they do, it’s almost unbearable and nearly impossible to forgive
themselves. And so, not only is the INFJ unable to take spoken thoughts lightly but they rarely say
things in the heat of the moment like so many people are accustomed to. This makes the INFJ
door slam quite obvious and apparent.. Because they wouldn’t resort to communicating the fact
that they’re done with the connection in its entirety without really meaning it. Yet, since
their empathy is so often used against them, when it’s a real door slam, INFJs won’t hesitate to
calmly back themselves up with every single thing that they’ve mentally noted as toxic within their
wide array of mentally documented disappointments. So, if they’ve left you frozen and speechless in
disbelief due to the accuracy of their feedback, you can be sure there's no going back for them.
Number 2: They’re extremely calm and don’t spare a single explanation
While it may seem like they vanished out of the blue, you can be sure they’ve attempted to fix the
connection time and time again before resorting to the door slam. Some INFJs feel the need to
explain every little reason in great detail, while others get to a point of not wanting to spare
one single piece of reasoning. When this type of door slam is in place,
the INFJ can’t fathom spending anymore time convincing or assuring themselves
that this is the right move to make, and so they leave nothing up for discussion..
Well, in reality they don’t really leave anything up for discussion whether they're communicating
their disappointments or not, but when the INFJ feels as if the other person is a lost cause,
they won’t take the time to give them that parting reflection.
This may seem like an extremely cold approach, but you can be sure that they spare these particularly
savage door slams for the exceptionally abusive and manipulative connections.
So, if that’s you, congratulations.. you’ve made it to the INFJs ‘never again’ book of lessons.
Number 3: They get annoyed by inside jokes and past memories
In the perfect door slamming world, one the INFJ is done, they’re absolutely done. No if, ands or
buts. However, sometimes certain circumstances don’t allow the INFJ the clear-cut no contact
rule they want out of a door slam. Whether it’s a workplace connection, or even a co-parenting
situation, if the INFJ must remain in contact with this opposing opponent they mean business. They no
longer want any emotional discussions, reminiscing memories or deep conversations with that person,
especially at the beginning. This isn’t because the INFJ is afraid they may change their mind
or reconsider, but because they are taking the appropriate measures to entirely forget that
person as best they can. They want to sever that energetic tie that once drained them of all their
mental and emotional mojo, leaving past memories as nothing but lessons learned in their eyes.
Number 4: You’ve done them dirty
One sure way to know if an INFJ is in fact door slamming you, is to self reflect. Of course,
some people are completely oblivious to the fact of just how controlling, manipulative or abusive
they’ve been within a connection, but for the people that can see it, you better believe that
the INFJ has finally reached their breaking point. The thing is, INFJs want to communicate in a calm
and collected manner, but some people take this emotional maturity as nothing but passive games.
Some people can’t take the INFJ seriously because they don’t get revved up and offensive when they
feel threatened. They don’t soop to the level of immaturity they’re experiencing because
they rather sit back, take mental notes and thoroughly understand behavioral patterns before
making any sudden judgments or initiatives. Yet, once they’ve observed and organized every last
piece of this behavioral puzzle, they’ll make sound judgements and act accordingly.
Number 5: They’ve moved on (rather quickly)
While it may seem obvious, once the INFJ has moved on, you can be sure there's a 99% chance
they’re never going back. In fact, compared to most personality types and in spite of their
sympathetic nature, the INFJ is able to move on considerably quickly from the time they actually
take the plunge to door slam. Well..at least it seems that way from the outside looking in.
In reality, the day the INFJ considered the door slam approach is the day they began
considering alternative futures, including the possibility of being with someone else entirely.
As soon as they feel a lack of security within a close relationship their minds begin to wander,
giving them a sense of hope and courage to leave and look for something better.
Yet, it’s not for the means of filling a void, as INFJs would never sign up
for something they wouldn’t consider being long term. Instead, it stems from the fact that INFJs
just have a lot of love to give..and that love mixed with their elaborate imaginations gives
them the push to not feel guilty if they know a new connection fits their standards.
Number 6: You lose access to the INFJ you once knew
Loving, sympathetic and always there for the people they love, INFJs show up to relationships
with the intention of giving their all. However, once an INFJ is sure that the connection no longer
serves their highest good, don’t expect any of the perks you once experienced with this personality
type. Sure, this may seem like an obvious aspect in most breakups, but for the empathic INFJ can
seem especially out of character because it’s not always backed up by feelings of anger or anguish.
They don’t always take back their caring ways out of spite, but rather in hopes of
regaining back all that they feel they’ve lost in emotional and mental energy. When something as
big as a door slam occurs in the INFJ’s life, they take it as an opportunity to reinvent themselves,
turn over a new leaf, and focus on nobody else but themselves. It’s like they exit chaos and enter a
period of deep reset and recharge, leaving no room for catering to the needs of the opposing person.
Don’t expect a reply if you text them out of the blue,
don’t expect a phone call claiming they miss you or have made a mistake,
heck..don’t even try to find them on social media, because they probably have you blocked.
Number 7: They were taking subtle steps away before the door slam occured
Like we mentioned, the infamous door slam is never as spontaneous as it may seem to the other person.
After exhausting all of their options with no avail, INFJs will be left contemplating for weeks,
months, even years on end, knowing there’s no other approach than to step away entirely.
Although it may seem easy, this is an incredibly heartbreaking realization for the INFJ
who never wants to give up on their ability to help another person. Yet, slowly but surely,
they’ll begin the process, sometimes without even realizing it. It’s as if their
subconscious reaches the conclusion before their conscious reasoning, and so when the time comes,
they begin to realize that they’ve been taking the appropriate measures for some time. Simple
things like forgetting the quarks they used to admire about the individual,
forgetting things like their favorite foods or the little things like how they like their
eggs cooked. They check out slowly, day by day, until they are nothing but a stranger.
Well that’s it for today PSYCH-Os.. Before you go, let us know in the comments below
whether or not you’ve been the door slammer, or the door slam-ee of an INFJ connection
and if you recognize these 7 signs. Also, make sure to leave us a like, share with your friends
and also subscribe to our channel so that you never miss a video!