- What's up?
It's Roy Wood Jr.
Time for another episode of
Stand-Up Playback.
I'm taking the stars of comedy today
and we're digging in the vault
and finding old clips of them from God knows how long ago.
Helping me do that this week,
this gentleman just had a one man show on Broadway.
That's when your standup elevates,
to one man show status,
and then one man show status on Broadway.
He is my good friend and standup comedy veteran
Mr. Mike Birbiglia.
How the hell are you doing?
- I'm good, man.
I'm glad to be here.
I'm dreading watching this old footage.
This is like looking at photos of yourself from high school.
- Yeah, when you're all awkward.
It's basically comedy puberty.
Maybe that's what we should have called the show.
First and foremost, quarantine,
your new special on Netflix, "The New One,"
- Yep.
- Details the birth of your child.
- That's right.
- And now you're quarantined with this child.
- And I'm quarantined with a child.
- How was that going? - She's five.
We're doing a lot of arts and crafts.
The other day Oona painted on the wall
like it was a canvas.
And then the first thing my wife said was,
"That was when you were in charge."
I had no defense.
- Y'all are both terrible prison guards.
(laughing)
So, in the spirit of fairness,
what I try to do, Mike, is roll a clip of myself first.
- [Mike] Okay, I get it.
- So that you can decimate me.
- [Mike] Okay.
- And then we'll roll in some of your goldy oldies
from back in the day, all right?
- [Mike] Let's do it.
- Let's go into my first clip.
This is from a Comedy Central contest called
the Laugh Riots that they used to do.
Back in the days kids, you send in a VHS tape.
- VHS tape.
- That's how you got on TV.
You mailed a VHS tape to a white person in New York,
and if they liked you enough you got to show up in Atlanta.
And this is what happened in the year 2000.
This is back in my suit wearing days.
- Daddy was cheap, y'all.
Dad bought me my first car.
Decent car.
'87 Dodge Aries, y'all.
Zero to 60 in four miles.
(crowd laughing) (Mike laughing)
You just know all the raggedy car people
are making noise, man.
If you got a raggedy car that's fine, don't be embarrassed
or be ashamed or be shamed about it, man.
- Pause it, pause it, pause it.
The true sign of being an amateur in comedy
is wearing your lanyard on stage.
- Oh my God, that's great point.
For the uneducated, in the festival universe
the lanyard is the thing you're wearing
around your neck, which is how you get in backstage.
But if you're wearing it on stage,
it means you don't even really belong on the stage.
- I was done before I walked out on stage.
I know the judges were like,
"He's wearing his damn lanyard."
Let's keep rolling, but I want you to pay close attention
to my belt line.
See if you can see the suspenders that go with the suit.
(chuckling)
I'm dressed like an 80 year old.
- But if you got a raggedy car,
you ain't allowed to decorate that damn car, all right?
(crowd laughing)
I've seen those people in raggedy cars decorating them,
and they get creative.
You know who the most creative people
are on this earth, y'all?
Them duct tape plastic people.
(crowd laughing)
Y'all know the ones I'm talking about?
They got the window knocked out of their car four years ago,
but they used the insurance money to buy a TV?
(crowd laughing)
So what they do,
they put a clear piece of plastic on the window
and wrap it up in duct tape so no wind get in the car.
I had one friend, y'all, cut a hole in the plastic
so he could get food in the dive-through.
(crowd laughing)
And if you ain't got no windows, you have to go inside.
That's it.
I had one friend, y'all, took his whole back window out.
Laid down one layer of clear plastic,
laid down a black trash bag.
I said, "Now, what the hell are you making?"
He said, "Tinted windows."
(crowd laughing) - I'm done.
All right, that's enough.
- That tinted windows punchline is strong.
- Yeah, I more so hate the suit.
The problem that I had in those days was this.
I had to wear suits to look older
so that people would take me seriously.
- Yes.
That's a really good point.
- I was scrawny.
I was 6'2", I'm probably 6'2" 170 in that picture.
I'm like 240 now.
- No one wants to listen to comedy
from a little scrawny kid.
- Yeah, what they want to listen to comedy from
is a fucking youth pastor wearing his lanyard on stage.
- And by the way, sorry to ding you on this,
but also the drink.
- Oh, that was my Steve Harvey swag.
I stole that from all the black comics on Comic View.
- But you know, the desperation of you holding a glass here
is you're only on stage for five minutes.
You really need a drink in your five minutes
that you're on stage?
Come on.
- Yes.
Yes, bitch, I did, 'cause I was nervous
and that's my crutch.
We'll get into performance crutches later.
Let's jump into one of your goldy oldies.
This is from 2001, Comedy Central Premium Blend,
which is the comedy showcase.
So Live at Gotham, Live at (mumbles) is what we do now,
but this was that version of that show.
This is 19 years ago. - Oh my gosh.
- All right, before we even play it
what's going on with the polo?
'Cause that's not how you dress now.
You're much more dad.
Sometimes you're a hoodie, sometimes you'll do a jacket.
I've seen all of your various hour specials
and none of them did you ever--
- Sometimes when I do the fundraising show
that you and I created on Instagram live,
Tip Your Waitstaff, the commenters will say
that I have, "Big dad energy."
Which is ... (Rloy aughing)
That's a big comment.
That's I think I'm wearing the sweater,
I'm wearing the big blue sweater.
If you do, and you can do this in post,
if you do a side by side of me now,
like I'll do the pose like this
and you do that, and it's just night and day.
For starters, chest hair.
You can see some chest hair coming out of the shirt.
- Is that your sex symbol years?
- I think it was a sex symbol.
It was an attempt at sex symbol years
as a failed attempt.
And also short sleeves.
Get them out of comedy.
Short sleeves don't belong in comedy.
- I think there's a certain persona that can pull it off,
but I have a strict no shorts policy.
- No shorts.
- With the exception of Gabriel Iglesias,
because he's always done it and that's his thing
and he's funny enough to pull it off.
Plus he's good times, and shorts are for good times.
It matches his persona. - That's right.
- This is Mike Birbiglia 2001 Premium Blend.
(crowd cheering)
- Yeah, wow, I like that love.
I'm a pretty sensitive guy, I am.
Hey, I was on the subway the other day
and the guy next to me was crying over a book.
He was actually crying.
So I leaned over, I go,
"You don't know how to read either, huh?"
(crowd laughing)
- Nice, nice.
- He was like, "Uh-uh."
- That still stands up.
- Shouldn't say bad stuff about illiterate people though.
I should write it.
(crowd laughing)
- Yo.
That one still stands up, Birbigs.
- Yeah, yeah, the joke stands up.
The joke stands up, the delivery is fraudulent,
and fake, and nothing like how I speak.
- Are you serious?
You wouldn't perform that joke the same way now?
- No, it would be completely different.
I would say, "The other day I was on the subway
"and there was a guy next to me."
Which is a true premise, by the way.
It really happened to me when I moved to New York.
There's a guy next to me crying over a book.
He was actually crying, and I leaned over and I go,
"You don't know how to read either, huh?"
And I shouldn't say that,
I shouldn't make jokes about illiterate people.
I shouldn't tell jokes about illiterate people,
I should write it.
It'd be an undersell.
My current sell of that same joke would be an undersell.
But you're right, the joke itself, I'm good with it.
I'm good.
- Yeah, yeah, I don't know,
there might be people in the illiterate community
that may say, "Eff you, disrespect" and try to cancel you.
But the joke still stands.
Give me a little bit more of this,
'cause we got one more of you that I want to watch.
- By the way, hold on, one more pause.
Tucked in shirt, get it out of comedy.
(laughing)
- Really, no more tucks.
Okay, keep going.
Braided belt still stands up.
- So I got a girlfriend.
(crowd cheering) Thank you, yeah.
She's a little bit older than I am,
so she's starting to get into that age
where she's thinking about having kids, you know?
Which is exciting, 'cause we're gonna have to break up.
(crowd laughing)
Yeah, it's just I've decided I'm not gonna have kids
until I'm absolutely sure that nothing else
good can happen in my life.
- Why are you nodding no?
- That was the first joke,
the I'm not gonna have kids until I'm sure
nothing else good can happen in my life.
I wrote that when I was 19 years old.
It was the first joke I ever wrote that was autobiographical
and a confession, which is what I do now.
All of what I do now is confessional comedy.
Admitting something to the audience you don't want to admit,
and that was the first time I did it and it worked.
In this I'm like 23 or whatever,
but when I wrote it I was 19.
So yeah, I think that joke holds up.
I'm cringing at the delivery
because I'm so like wide eyed and it's just so--
- But that's what comedy was 20 years ago.
It was much more chipper.
There was more energy.
- Yours is similar too.
Yours, you speak much faster in your clip
than you speak now. - Yeah, yeah.
I don't care now.
I can slow down a little bit.
I know that this might be funny,
but in the early days you're always talking fast.
Then let's jump ahead to 2006.
This is you more polished now,
because this is your Comedy Central half hour special.
Now, let's just start with the set design.
That's an arctic fox or is that a wolf?
- It's an arctic fox.
- Okay.
What does that represent?
For the people who don't know,
when you're a comedian and you get a half hour
or an hour special, the network and the producers
come to you, "So, what do you want to put on the stage?
"What speaks to your (mumbles)?"
And you replied, "Arctic fox."
why?
- I had a joke that was a signature joke,
which is I said to my girlfriend,
"What do you fear most?"
And she said, "I fear you're gonna leave me
"and I'm gonna be all alone."
And she said, "What do you fear most?"
And I said, "Bears."
I was really into wildlife at the time
and I just thought of myself as being this
sort of wildlife focused comedian.
- Said, "I'm just gonna be the animal comic."
- Yeah, I don't know.
(chuckling)
- Also, the guitar, let's see what happens with the guitar.
You don't know the guitar as much on stage anymore.
We can get into that after we see you play this guitar.
(crowd applauding)
- I just started playing guitar this year.
I had a lot of ... (crowd cheering)
Thanks.
I had a lot of time to kill in hotels,
so I'm just a beginner, so I'm not very good,
but I love music.
But sometimes when I'm driving--
- Now, let's pause real quick.
We've got the hoodie, no more short sleeves.
Your shit ain't tucked in.
I respect the evolution.
- There's evolution.
- I respect it, let's keep rolling.
- Listening to the radio for hours, you know?
And I'll listen to Christian rock by mistake
(crowd laughing)
because it always starts out
as like a Bon Jovi ballad, you know?
(crowd laughing) (strumming guitar)
It'll be like
♪ I woke up in the morning ♪
♪ And I got myself some oatmeal ♪
♪ And I put some raisins on it ♪
♪ And Christ is God ♪
♪ Christ is God ♪
♪ God, God, God ♪
(crowd cheering) - God, God, God.
- Whoa, that's great.
All right, pause it, pause it right there.
So, as you became more biographical,
I'm gonna guess why you quit playing the guitar on stage.
You tell me how close I am.
- Okay.
- More often than not, guitar based material
you have to write an original song.
The original song usually is about observations.
Most guys that are music acts on stage
are observational, they're not introspective.
And as your comedy evolved and became more introspective,
you can't express the intricacies of what's going on
inside your heart through music
because that's too complicated of a joke writing process.
- Yes, and building on what you're saying,
my skill level as a guitarist had a ceiling.
- But you don't think that just by sticking with it
eventually there would have been some level of skills?
Because you don't have to be fucking Bon Jovi on the guitar,
you just need to be the best comedic guitarist.
If you go to a show,
you go to a show and a guy pulls out a guitar,
and you're better than that person at guitar,
you're like, "How come I bought a ticket to this?"
(chuckling)
- Okay, fair point, fair point.
Do we have a little bit more of Mike on this guitar?
- I love playing guitar,
but I think there's a danger in playing guitar too much.
- Truism.
Truism by the way.
- There's always that guy who just shows up
at the party you're at - That's funny, that's real.
- And just starts playing guitar for no reason.
- This is my friend Chris (mumbles) in college
this was based on.
- Everyone knows his motivation for doing it,
and so I wrote a song this year just for that guy.
(crowd cheering)
- "Guitar "Guy at the Party."
- It's called, "Guitar Guy at the Party."
(crowd cheering) (strumming guitar)
♪ I'm the guitar guy ♪
♪ At the party ♪
♪ I'm the guitar guy and I ♪
♪ Think I'll drink a coke and Bacardi ♪
♪ It might seem like I'm just having fun ♪
♪ But I'm actually not ♪
♪ I'm trying to sleep with your girlfriend ♪
♪ Listen to me as I play this song ♪
♪ 'Cause I'm gonna play it regardless ♪
- Good use of regardless.
♪ I'm only playing three chords so ♪
♪ I can make eye contact ♪
♪ With different women in the room ♪
♪ I'm gonna try to sleep with your girlfriend ♪
♪ But I'm gonna make it sound like ♪
♪ We have a really special bond ♪
- I feel like this, pause it, pause it.
- Wait, I have one ...
Hold on one second, because I have something.
- All right, keep going, keep going.
- One more second.
(crowd cheering)
- You know, I think your boyfriend
really takes you for granted.
When was the last time he told you
that your eyes look like space crystals?
(crowd laughing) (Mike laughing)
- Good cut away. If you want to come by
my place later that'd be cool.
It's not gonna be like last time.
- All right, stop it there.
Stop it there. - All right.
- Space crystals.
- Your eyes look like space crystals.
- Space crystals, John Mulaney wrote that.
- Really?
He just gave you that tag?
- Yeah, because we were on tour.
This is the Media Man on Campus tour
for Comedy Central, this was a college tour.
We were on a tour bus.
This was I think 2005/2006.
We were living on a bus together,
and you know when you're with another comic
there's a lot of cross-pollination.
What about this?
What about this tag?
And that was his line.
He was like, "What about something like
"your eyes look like space crystals?"
I was like, "That's funny as hell."
And I put it in and it exploded.
I think it's the best line in the song.
- On that song, not as a whole,
but on that song some Sandler vibes.
'Cause people forget Adam Sandler--
- You're right, I love Sandler.
- It was in the octaves.
♪ Guitar guy at the party ♪
Really dope man.
Before we wrap, man, let me tell you thank you
for just having the initiative to start
tipyourwaitstaff.com.
- Thanks, man.
- For the people who haven't gone to this website,
it's a collection of GoFundMe's where we are supporting
the wait and bar staff of all of the various
comedy clubs across the country.
Go there.
If you see your club in the city that you support listed,
send some money those people's way.
Even if you can't, send the link to somebody who can.
- So we can up with Tip Your Waitstaff,
it was your name that you came up with,
and I do most of these Instagram live.
If you go on my @birbigs handle, I do a few a week.
We hit a milestone this week.
We linked to 45 different club campaigns,
and that number is over half a million dollars raised
from 7,000 different donors.
(clapping)
- Wish I could clap faster, man.
(clapping)
- Isn't that cool?
- Yeah, dude.
(clapping)
Over half a mil.
I can't thank you enough for kicking back
with a little bit of Playback with me.
- So fun.
- Do you own any of these old clothes
that you performed in?
- Hell no.
Hell no.
- [Roy] You still have that hoodie?
- Are you kidding me?
I don't even have the guitar.
The guitar got crushed in an airplane baggage claim.
I saw it through my window get smooshed
and it's got cracks straight through it.
- And so that was the day God told you
to start writing about yourself.
- That's right.
- I think that's what it was man.
Well, look, man, thank you so much for coming on.
He is Mike Birbiglia, the special is "The New One," Netflix.
- There's a "New One" book coming out
June 16th for father's day.
It's a great father's day gift.
(clapping)
So, yeah, check that out too.
- Somebody's keeping busy during quarantine.
- (laughs) Yeah.
- Must be nice.
- Must be nice. - Thanks, Mike.
- Thanks, Roy.