- If for some reason I lost my memory,
what's the first thing you'd tell me about us?
I like this.
- Well, I guess then it would be a good thing
that you have all of those
photo albums.
(both laugh)
That I complain about so much.
(both laugh)
When do you feel the sexiest around me,
and what has it taught you about yourself?
- I don't know,
I feel like I said this to you recently.
- Recently, yeah, mm hmm.
- I don't know.
I think that we both can agree
that we stress about our weight and our health.
And I think, when I was dating and I,
you know, before we were together,
I was like obsessed with thinking like,
oh, you gotta keep it tight,
or dating is gonna be hard.
Like, I don't know.
I feel like I had a lot of insecurities about my weight
when I was dating and how people like, you know,
how people would perceive me.
And I felt like you never,
I don't know, I never felt like my weight was a thing,
and I've never had that.
I don't know.
You know, I think I've never also had someone
to like talk about my weight with.
I like never had those conversations with anyone.
I almost feel more attractive
because you and I will have conversations about,
you know, frustrations,
or you know, wanting to get in a good like healthy routine,
or like working out or healthy eating or whatever.
And then you still tell me,
you know, we'll have a conversation
where we get very vulnerable and just like,
oh, we both like, ugh, I feel like crap right now.
And you'll still go out of your way
to tell me that I look good or that I'm pretty.
And that has been one of my favorite things about you
that I, you know, I wanna get my weight in order for myself
but I never have to worry that you're less attracted to me
or you've never made me feel that way if anything.
Even if I've gained some weight,
you even make me feel prettier.
And you go out of your way to let me know that I look good.
So it's always been special for me.
- Yeah. - It's nice.
Love you for it.
(both chuckle)
Okay.
What are we always carrying with us
that we should let go of?
- I don't know.
I think we both have baggage from previous relationships
that would be nice to let go of, I guess.
- Yeah.
- That definitely kind of play into some insecurities
for both of us.
- I think you and I kind of had the same hurdles.
- Mmm hmm.
- A lot of the same hurdles.
- Yeah.
- I think it kept both of us
from opening up in the beginning.
- I agree.
And I also think you
were not more ready to like
jump over them or through them
or whatever you do with hurdles,
but I think you were more intentional with like,
these are the mistakes that I've made in the past.
These are the things that have bothered me
before that I didn't speak up about,
and I'm not going to let that happen this time.
- Like early, when we started dating?
- On the earlier side, yeah.
I think you were understanding
and patient,
but it was, I definitely had the feeling of like, okay,
if I don't come around on opening up more
or telling you how I feel,
then this is not gonna like move forward very well
or at all.
- Yeah.
- I definitely felt the intentionality from you
of like being able to look backward
and want things to be different.
Where I felt like I was just kind of floating along there.
- Yeah, before.
- Yeah.
- So.
When was the last time you considered ending
this relationship and why didn't you?
- I don't think, at least since we've been more serious,
I don't think I've,
I've ever been like,
I don't know if I can do this.
I don't think I've gotten there.
- Yeah.
- But I mean, when we, before we became official,
I think that's like the last time where it felt real.
I'm actually surprised I was able to recover from that,
just because I
am not good at, you know, I didn't know if I could give
the whole situation a blank slate.
I'm glad I did.
- Yeah.
- Obviously, I don't know.
I think when that happened, I was battling between like
am I being super gullible like to stick around?
Like, should I believe you?
Just because, you know,
I've only had one other serious relationship
in my life really,
and it ended with an infidelity, so.
- Yeah.
- I think that is something I carried into dating you,
where I felt like I, it was like, okay,
I feel like there are some lingering trust issues
for me when I would date new people.
Honestly.
I mean, you and I have been through rough stuff
and great stuff,
but there's never been a moment since then
where I'm like, I can't, that I'd be willing
to give up on this.
- Yeah.
- What are you hesitant to tell me?
I like this one.
- What am I hesitant to tell you?
I think I was surprised like at the, in the moment, I guess,
just like the first time that you say, I love you,
is always gonna be kind of a like, weighty moment,
but not, I wasn't like, oh, really?
Do you?
At that point, I was ready to say it,
I don't know, it just sucked going first.
It was like okay, good, I got it, yeah, I do too, yeah.
- I'm glad I wasn't so stubborn about it.
- Yeah, no, it definitely was,
I remember being like afraid of it
at a certain point.
- Saying I love you?
- Of feeling like you want to say it
maybe before I was ready to
and being like, oh God, like to try to say it,
I feel it's going there, I don't know,
and feeling relieved of like the feeling
in the moment of like, yeah,
I want to say it back.
- I think you still struggle to articulate yourself
sometimes.
- Yeah, I think that's more of a like overarching
thing for me in general,
but I feel like that's gotten a lot easier for me.
- Yeah.
- So, yeah.
I can't think of anything now.
I think over the course of our relationship,
it's been really hard
for me to express how I feel about you, because it just
makes me uncomfortable to express how I feel in general.
But I feel like that's something
that we've worked on together a lot.
Yeah.
I don't feel like, I don't know.
I feel like we're on the same team.
I don't have anything to,
to hide from you or,
or that I don't want your input,
or help with or just to like be there for something.
So I can't really think of anything.
- Last one.
- When were you the most in love with me?
- I think just now,
as you were answering that question.
- Really?
- Yeah.
That's a good answer.
- That's really sweet.
You're going to make me cry.
- I can't.
I just like had a, you know, I don't know.
I was really scared to come here and do this.
I don't know, like having a moment
like that just was really.
- I told you.
- I got you on the last one.
There you go.
No, I'm gonna stick with that one.
- Yeah?
- Yeah.
- I like that.
- I love you.
- I love you too.
- Okay.
- Hey everybody.
Thank you so much for being here.
It's Nick from The Skin Deep.
And I just want to let you know that, you know,
these conversations are all facilitated
by our questions and we've taken those questions,
and put them into a card game.
So if you want to have more meaningful conversations,
if you want to start deepening the connections in your life,
go to shop dot the skin deep dot com
to check out our card game
and all the other stuff that we're doing.
So thanks so much.