[Disclaimer read by Burter]
[Please keep these captions clean for those who need them. Funny extras can be added to the English (Canada) subs. Thank you!]
BURTER: Yes best time!
GOKU: Finally! I'm on Planet Namek.
KRILLIN [off-screen, distant]: HELP UUU-UU-UUS!
GOKU: So *serene*...
KRILLIN [o-s, distant]: OH GOD, HE'S KILLING US! HE-E-ELP!
GOKU: I think I hear a duck... but this far out in space? That doesn't make any sense!
KRILLIN [o-s, distant]: QUAAAACK!
GOKU: Oh, no! That sounds like Krillin!
I'ma COMIN'!
[♫ "Sanjō!! Ginyū Tokusentai!!" ♫]
Eriito Senshi - Ginyū Tokusentai!
♫ Tokusentai! ♫
"Kono bangumi wa TeamFourStar Soda to goran no suponsaa no teikyou de okurishimasu." (This program is brought to you by TeamFourStar Soda and the following sponsors.)
FREEZA: I can't believe we came all the way out here and spent a week in the space boonies for nothing!
Seriously, I'm surprised that we didn't hear banjos on the way in, because everybody's inbred
AND LOOKS THE F***ING SAME!
Not to mention I lost Dodoria *and* Zarbon,
the latter of whom spent 400 credits making long distance calls to his girlfriend,
WHO I AM CONVINCED IS NAMED CHUCK!!
CAPTAIN GINYU: Lord Freeza?
FREEZA: WHAT!?
CPT. GINYU: There may be still be a few holed up somewhere.
Perhaps you should check your Scouter!
[Various Scouter beeps]
FREEZA: Well, would you look at that. Three in that direction!
Good work, Ginyu.
CPT. GINYU: All in a day's work, sir.
And now... The Dance of Solitude!
[♫ "Vogue" ♫]
BURTER: So, are we just waiting for this thing or wha--?
JEICE: 'OLY DOOLIE!
BURTER: JESUS, THAT WAS *FAST*!
I-I-I mean not as...
not as fast as me, considering I'm the fastest in the... i-in the Universe...
...but compared to the average person--!
JEICE: We get it, mate. It's cool.
GOKU: Gohan!
Hey, Gohan!
Gohan!
Gohan?
Maybe he'll wake up if I shake him some more...
KRILLIN: GOKU! JUST GIVE HIM A SENZU!
GOKU: OH, right! Eat up Gohan!
RECOOME [indignant]: HEY! Recoome was in the middle of a match here!
So how about you--
GOKU: Sir? I am *talking*... to my *son*.
RECOOME: Oh; Recoome apologizes.
...Wait, what am I apologizing for?! RECOOME'S GONNA KILL YOU!
GOHAN: Dad?
DAD!
Oh my God, you're here! I love you, Dad!
GOKU: That's right, Gohan. I *am* here!
Hey, Krillin! Ya hanging in there?
KRILLIN: Oh! I've had worse. You know, when I died...
This is definitely a close second though....
RECOOME: RECOOME WILL NOT BE IGNORED!
GOKU: SIR! I am *trying* to talk to my friends!
Hey Vegeta, we're friends now, right?
VEGETA: F*** off.
GOKU: The best! Now have a magic bean!
But make sure you chew it, or else you'll grow a beanstalk in your belly!
KRILLIN: Goku, it was terrible! We landed here,
and then there were these really strong guys,
and then there were these really strong guys, and there was even more strong guys,
and then there were these really strong guys, and there was even more strong guys, AND THEN OUR SHIP BLEW UP,
and then there were these really strong guys, and there was even more strong guys, AND THEN OUR SHIP BLEW UP, AND THEN THERE WAS *EVEN MORE STR*--!
GOKU: Bored now! Reading your mind!
KRILLIN: Wait wha--?
GOKU: Haha! That thing was a guy!
KRILLIN: Goku, did you just read my mind...?
GOKU: Yuh-huh!
KRILLIN: But how could you--??
GOKU: Muffin Button.
KRILLIN: ...What? GOKU: Huh?
RECOOME: *THAT'S*! *IT*! Recoome has had enough!
Feel the strength of the
Feel the strength of the REEEEEE
Feel the strength of the REEEEEECOOME...
Feel the strength of the REEEEEECOOME... ULTRA
Feel the strength of the REEEEEECOOME... ULTRA FIGHTING
Feel the strength of the REEEEEECOOME... ULTRA FIGHTING MIRACLE--!
GOKU: SIR!
{THWACK}
I will fight you in a minute.
VEGETA: 'This... This is impossible...!'
'Kakarot was nowhere NEAR that same level when we fought on Earth!'
'The only way he could've obtained this strength, is...'
No... it can't be...!
The legend says it only happens every 1,000 YEARS!!
Has he become...
Has he become... a SUPER SAIYAN?!
GOKU: So, anyway Vegeta, what happened to you?
Did you get beat up by this guy?
RECOOME: (Gurgling)
VEGETA: Ahh, n-no! I, ummm... uhhh--
GHOST NAPPA: You fell down some stairs.
VEGETA: I fell down some stairs.
KRILLIN: No you didn't, you--
VEGETA: Shut up before I throw you down a flight.
GURU: So, Dende...
sucks about your family--
DENDE: We've gone over this.....
GURU: But do you know who also lost his family?
Batman.
DENDE: I don't know who that is...
GURU: See!? This is why we need TVEEE!
DENDE: Why?
[Loosely singing to the rhythm of the Batman theme (1966)] GURU: ♪ Nananananananana Dende! ♪
♪ Nananananananana Dende! ♪
♪ Dende! ♪
DENDE: Guru--
GURU: ♪ Dende! ♪
DENDE: Nail's here...
GURU: ♪ Naaaaaaaaaaillll! ♪
♪ Why are you back? ♪
NAIL: I never left, sir. I was outside hitting my head against the wall for 20 minutes.
[Flashback]
{THUMP} NAIL [o-s; muffled]: Ugh!
{THUMP THUMP} NAIL [o-s; muffled]: Ugh! Unh!
{THUMP THUMP THUMP} NAIL [o-s; muffled]: Ugh! Unh! Unh!
{THUMP THUMP THUMP THUMP} NAIL [o-s; muffled]: Ugh! Unh! Unh! Ugh!
[Flashback ends] GURU: So that's what that was...
GURU: So that's what that was...
Why have you ignored my order?
NAIL: *Because*, Lord Guru, I can't leave you unguarded, no matter--
GURU: TUWAHHG!
CLEAN THAT UP!
[Batman transition]
JEICE: What the *bleedin'* 'ell?!
We were havin' a right rip snorter 'ere,
and then this piker shows up,
and just like that, it's Goodnight Irene!
KRILLIN [o-s]: We *get it*, you're from Space Australia!
BURTER: He's making fools out of us, Jeice!
JEICE: You're bloomin' right, he is!
We'd better bust out our special technique!
JEICE: SEIZURE PROCEDURE!! BURTER: SEIZURE PROCEDURE!!
[♫ "Sandstorm" ♫]
GOHAN: Krillin! What ever you do... don't look directly at it.
Krillin?
KRILLIN: (Gurgling)
{DING} KRILLIN: (Gurgling)
KRILLIN: (Gurgling)
JEICE: No way! No one resists the Seizure Procedure!
BURTER: PLAN B!
JEICE: Alright, you bastard! Prepare to feel the wrath of the GINYU--!
{THWACK} GUOGH!!
D'AAUGH! You *goddamn wanker*!
You punched me in the--!
{THWACK} D'UOGH!!
D'AUGH! You did it again!
{THWACK} D-- D'AGH!!
STOP IT! STOP I--!
{THWACK} DU--!!
*PIIIISS*!!
'Auugh, what did the Cap'n tell us to do in this situation?!'
CPT. GINYU: Jeice, if you ever find yourself being punched repeatedly in the face, always remember to--
{THWACK} JEICE: D'OHH!!
OWW, HE CUT OFF THE CAP'N!
GOKU: So... are you gonna *dodge* any of these?
JEICE: Ohhhh, THAT'S what the Captain--!
{THWACK} (Wailing)
*BURTER*!! *SUPPORT*!!
BURTER: Well, you've got very nice hair,
you're a beautiful shade of red,
and honestly, you're the only guy I can rely on on this team.
JEICE: AH MEANT *PUNCH HIM*, YA DAFT BASTARD!! Ugh...!
(Inhaling)
Oh, but, thanks ya know? Th-that really cheered me--
{THWACK} OHH... GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
OHH... GOD, I THINK HE BROKE SOMETHING THAT TIME!!
BURTER: YEGH!
[♫ "U Can't Touch This" ♫]
GOKU: Goku Time!
JEICE: OHHWW!!
Alright - this is just bloody stupid!
BURTER: Calm down! We gotta come up with a plan.
Listen - if you use your Crusher Ball on him, I can rush him the moment he tries to dodge.
He may be fast, but he's not faster than the fastest guy in the Universe!
JEICE: OK. Mate, we need to talk...
About this whole... "Fastest in the Universe" thing...
First off, the Captain's got a higher power level than you.
BURTER: Yeah, so?
JEICE: Well then, correct me if I'm wrong,
but a higher power level means he's faster, yeah?
BURTER: Well, okay, maybe--
JEICE: And Lord Freeza's got a higher power level than all of us...
BURTER: OK, that's just not fair!
JEICE: *And*, if you think about it, Guldo can stop time!
BURTER: Hurrh...! JEICE: *And*, if you think about it, Guldo can stop time!
So that technically makes him faster than--
BURTER: *NO*!!
BURTER: *NO*!! NO!
BURTER: *NO*!! NO! NO, OKAY?!
BURTER: *NO*!! NO! NO, OKAY?! I am not!
BURTER: *NO*!! NO! NO, OKAY?! I am not! Slower!
BURTER: *NO*!! NO! NO, OKAY?! I am not! Slower! Than f***ing
BURTER: *NO*!! NO! NO, OKAY?! I am not! Slower! Than f***ing *GULDO*!!
JEICE: Burter, calm down!
BURTER: NO! SHUT UP!! You shut your stupid red face!
BURTER [mockingly]: "Oh, don't worry mate, you're just slower than Guldo!"
GOKU: 'I wonder if there is a Denny's on this planet...' BURTER [o-s]: I don't want to hear it!
GOKU: 'I wonder if there is a Denny's on this planet...' BURTER [o-s]: You!
GOKU: 'I wonder if there is a Denny's on this planet...' BURTER [o-s]: You! Don't!
GOKU: 'I could really go for a Grand Slam!' BURTER [o-s]: You! Don't! Get it!
GOKU: 'I could really go for a Grand Slam!' BURTER: You don't know what it's like!
BURTER: You don't know what it's like!
Everyone has something special! I don't!
What am I?! The big blue snake guy! That's all I've got!
That's all I've go-oo-ooot...!
JEICE: Geez, mate, I'm-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to hurt your feelings...
BURTER: I just... I just want to be special!
Something to call my own, you know?
JEICE: Mate, mate, you DO got something special!
You're me mate.
BURTER: Aww, dude!
JEICE: No, no, really!
Remember when I had to move me piano into me flat?
And Recoome was too busy with his match? And Guldo...
[snide] well, he was Guldo,
BUT YOU! YOU got those ivory keys up those five flights in no time at all!
You're me best mate!
BURTER: Thanks, Jeice! You're my best friend too!
You know? After all this is over,
what do you say we head off to Spacey's and just... have a good old time?
JEICE: Sounds good, mate!
BURTER: But remember, you still owe me that space soda!
JEICE: HAHA! You're right I do!
Now! Let's go show that bloke what for--!
BURTER: GAH!
[Brutal impact]
GOKU: Say, do you know where there is a Denny's around here?
JEICE: BURTER!!! NOOOO!!!
GOKU: Butter! That'll go GREAT on my Grand Slam!
JEICE [tearful]: You just killed me best mate!!
I'm... I'm gonna get the Cap'n, and he's gonna BEAT YOU UP!!
CAAAAPTAAAAAAAIN...!!
GOKU: Well, that was fun. Now where are the fighters?
I really wanna deck that Freezer guy!
VEGETA: You've got to be kidding.
*This* is a Super Saiyan??
GOKU: A Super wha...?
VEGETA: Nothing, just... lamenting my crushed dreams.
KRILLIN: Goku! I can't believe you're so strong!
GOKU: Well, I did train at 100x normal gravity.
VEGETA: FU--!!!
[900Hz sine wave tone]
KRILLIN: Man, no *wonder* you killed them so easily! [900Hz sine wave tone]
VEGETA: --CK!
GOKU: Krillin, I'm not gonna kill them!
[Mass Effect 2 Renegade Interrupt SFX] GOKU: Krillin, I'm not gonna kill them!
[Mass Effect 2 Renegade Interrupt SFX] They're hardly even a threat!
{THWACK} BURTER: Huehg!
GOKU: Vegeta! That was *not* very Paragon!
VEGETA: Renegade for life.
♫ Tokusentai! ♫
You think that's bad? Seriously, if you hit him hard enough, you can play a song.
BURTER: ♪ Hueh! Hu-hu-hueh! ♪
♪ Hu-hu-hueh! ♪
♪ Hu-hueh! Hueh! ♪
♪ Hueh! Hueh! Huehg! ♪
VEGETA: Ha-ha-ha! I don't even know what that's from!
KRILLIN: I think that was Tetris.
VEGETA: Isn’t that what you get when you cut yourself with something rusty?
GOKU: Nope! That's rabies!
GOHAN: Actually, Dad, you contract rabies when you’re bitten by an animal with a disease.
GOKU: Silly Gohan! Animals don’t eat people; people eat animals!
Silly Gohan!