- [Narrator] What's keeping you
from living out your sex fantasy?
- There's a lotta shame and stigma.
- So much stigma.
- A lot of like shame or stigma.
- Shame and like terror.
- Around sex and relationships.
- [Narrator] This could be because
according to a recent study
of the past three decades of sex education literature,
more than 80% only covered pregnancy and disease prevention.
This negative teaching around sex
can lead to intimacy issues, which aren't partner exclusive
and can keep you from getting in touch with your own body.
- Everybody has like their own dogma
that they've internalized,
and some of that dogma has taught people,
okay, like, I'm not supposed to look at my body.
There's a lotta shame and stigma attached to body,
especially if people have like STDs or STIs,
like, that reality can make people adverse
to wanting to see themselves
or wanting to connect with themselves.
- [Narrator] So how do we remove the stigma attached
to talking about sex?
Well, you may not realize it,
but COVID has helped normalize language
that could help destigmatize
one of the most shamed parts of sex, STIs.
- COVID is oddly giving us these opportunities
to have these deep, authentic discussions with our partners.
And I'm not even sure if people are aware
that they're starting to have parallel conversations.
You know, COVID and STIs, they both have viruses,
they both are stigmatizing.
Some people are afraid to disclose if they test positive
for risk and being shamed,
and just the language we use, even around getting tested,
have you been tested today?
It's a safe place, I'm safe, I'm clean, I'm this, I'm that.
- And so maybe now, this is a step in the right direction
of making sure we just normalize asking about your status,
whether that's your STI status or your COVID status.
We just normalize having these conversations with people
in a way that's just healthy and accepted.
And so to me, it's like, people shouldn't be shamed for it,
people shouldn't be embarrassed about it, but like,
what does it look like to just say like,
hey, here's my risk factor profile, you wanna have sex,
like, what does that look like?
- [Narrator] It probably looks like a world
where we're more comfortable exploring our own bodies.
- It's very important that we understand
we don't have to ask our partners
or anybody for that matter for permission
to be able to get in touch with ourselves and our bodies.
That's something, I think,
that is healthy to share with a partner,
but the best way to really like, be able in a relationship
to say, hey, I'm gonna masturbate
is by being respectful and you can be polite,
but there's not really much of a reason
to be apologetic in my opinion.
- [Narrator] In a world where we're more comfortable
getting professional help to explore our desires.
- If you do feel like there's something
that you would like to change that,
there are resources out there, there are sex doulas,
there are people who are sex therapists,
so you don't have to sit in that shame.
- It can be really hard to ask for what you want.
There can be a lot of like shame or stigma around desires
and being able to have the structure
of a professional domination session
provides space for you to ask for what you really want,
and like an opportunity for you to get it,
and to practice asking for what you want.
- [Narrator] And when we practice
compassion and openness with ourselves,
we can bring it to our community.
And not to get all kumbaya here,
but that's really what's going to have an impact.
- When we can talk about it in community
and share in community,
then we have the balancing acts of,
oh, hm, that doesn't feel quite right.
How do we talk about this differently
or approach it differently?
And so I think it's really important
to be very open and to receive people,
and when people say something
to actually say to them, okay, well, tell me more.
Where is that coming from
and how do we kind of get to the place
where we're meeting in the middle?
- [Narrator] So try a little tenderness
and you could find yourself
tied up in exactly the position you want to be in.
Are you shameless about sex?
Tell us in the comments below.