The gender landscape is changing what it means to be a man or a
woman or a non binary person means something completely
different in today's society than it ever has before. And
what it means to be an alpha male is changing to in this era,
we have redefined femininity, relationships, even the
construct of gender itself. But have you redefined what it means
for yourself to be an alpha male at its core, being an alpha
means being a confident, successful high performing man.
And I do know a thing or two about what it takes to make that
happen. In fact, if you are a man learning how to live in the
world today, and juggle dating, sex and relationship, I have a
whole host of classes and courses that I made just for you
more on that in a moment. For now, here are the four things
that make a modern alpha male, as well as some things that
definitely do not, number one, know who the you are, the modern
alpha male knows who he is. And he accepts himself for it. He is
not trying to press himself into the mold of his like World War
Two fighter pilot grandfather version of Alpha Man, he is his
own versions. I mean, if anything, that's what we're
learning about gender and sexuality anyways, is that each
of us have our own version of it. The modern day off, a man
understands what his shortcomings are, he works
towards becoming the best person that he can be. But he does so
out of self care and respect, not wanting to be someone he is.
One of the things I love most about living in today's society
is that we press people all the time to do better and be better.
Like people get called out all the time for being problematic
for having behavior that we are no longer accepting. I think
this is awesome. I like the pressure on all of us to be
better people like, yeah, all right, but what about you? What
if you're a timid, soft spoken, dude? Well, it's not about
changing your demeanor, to be some like macho beefcake,
knowing who you are. And sticking to it is macho,
alright, and it is also incredibly sexy. But how do you
get to know yourself? Well, it all starts with showing up for
numero uno, aka you, but actively asking yourself what
you want from life. It comes from taking a good long look in
the mirror and assessing what is working and what is not then
actively making decisions in your life that are guiding you
towards being your best, most empowered version of yourself. I
think what it comes down to is that the Alpha Man is not lazy,
he doesn't wake up every morning and go, This is who I am, take
it or leave it because he recognizes that that kind of
fixed mindset is not actually contributing to the growth of
himself or anyone around him. And that shit is very
unattractive. You also can figure out how to become better
by listening to the people who you know, and surrounding
yourself with people who inspire you. Instead of people who hold
you back. It is often said that you are the average of the five
people who spend the most time with take a look at your five
people and ask yourself, are these people inspiring you to do
your best? Are they making the kind of money that you want to
make living the kind of relationships that you want to
have? Or are these people who are quite frankly, bringing down
your average and moving backwards or staying perfectly
still and not growing at all? All right, number two, you see
yourself as a winner. Now I already can tell that some of
y'all are gonna get into the comments and you're gonna tell
me every single reason why you cannot see yourself as a winner.
And I'm here to tell you that reality as you see, it is not
the most important variable to whether or not you see yourself
as a winner. I don't care what you see around you. Do you see
yourself as the winner? Are you willing to invest the thought
work, the hard work, the emotional work to seeing
yourself as more than you are today. Because the modern alpha
male sees every outcome as a win or learn he's not stacking up
losses, he's stacking up lessons. You know, sometimes in
life, we have cut and dry wins, you get a promotion, you reach a
goal. Maybe it's a fitness goal, you know, you finally get that
six minute mile. But no one succeeds at everything all the
time. Take it from someone who tries to succeed at everything
all the time. It's not possible and every loss comes with an
opportunity to learn, win or learn that is what the modern
alpha male knows and lives by, you know, problematic human
being but interesting author Jordan Peterson equates people
to lobsters Okay, so
hang on. I know that people got a lot of opinions on this, but I
think he makes a really excellent point. Lobsters live
in a hierarchy. They have a hierarchical order, and they
know which one is alpha and which one is not. And the way
that they figure that out is a good old fashioned fist fight or
in this case, claw fight. When lobsters fight the winning
lobster gets a surge of chemicals telling him he is
higher up on the totem pole than his opponent who lost and guess
what the losing lobster, on the other hand gets a chemical rush
that tells him that he is Now below the winner, his brain
starts taking him down a notch bringing him down peg by peg
loss by loss. Now the good news is we are not lobsters, lobsters
are crustaceans are like one of the oldest living forms of life
on this earth. And that is not us. But there is something that
we can really, really take away from this analogy. And that is
if you are constantly perceiving yourself as a loser, constantly
stomaching losses, then your brain is going to start kicking
you down. And you are going to start losing yourself inside of
the hierarchy feeling that you are lower and lower. The good
thing about this is that since you're not a lobster, you
actually have the ability to shift your mindset and begin
choosing things that you know that you can win at it is that
simple. Do things to give yourself wins. It is that
simple. You know, the problem is that too many people when you
feel like a loser, you stopped even taking chances and giving
yourself things that you can win at you just throw your hands up
and say like this is it for me this is this is who I am this is
nobody's ever going to love me. I'm a loser. I'm never getting
married or late again or whatever. Think about all of the
things that you can turn into a win in every single day. Can you
get up and make your bed? When can you get to work on time and
really do a stellar job even if you don't love your career? When
can you hit the gym and counted as a win no matter how many reps
who did or what weights you lifted? When can you do the
things that you know you're good at practice your guitar, fix
your car, clean up your house, volunteer at the neighborhood
homeless shelter, do things that make you feel like you're
winning, and you will train your brain just like that lobster
trains heads by winning again and again. And again. This is
the gift of being a human being and not a tasty crustacean that
goes great with clutter. I mean, you may go great with butter, I
don't know, I don't know what you do. When the doors closed
and lights are off. If it involves butter, I'm game good
plays awesome different video though. The moral of the story
is as long as you're learning, you're winning, as long as
you're taking every opportunity. And I mean every opportunity,
not just the ones that show up with your girlfriend with your
friends at work or with your money or whatever. I'm talking
about every single opportunity all day long, making those into
wins for yourself and then patting yourself on the back.
Because you won. And that actually helps to integrate it
quit going around telling me that you get to stay a victim
because you're a victim, as long as you want to stay a victim and
defend yourself in the comments saying that you're a victim,
you're a victim. Great.
That's, that's, that's what you have to look forward to. I'm
here to deliver the hard truth because I want better for you.
Alright, number three, my alpha males, you know what you want,
and you go after it probably the sexiest quality in masculinity
of all time, is the goal and the getting. Now what's important to
know about this is that alpha males do not live in fear. This
wasn't the case when your granddaddy was up in the sky
fighting for his country. And it is not the case today. This one
ties into numbers one and two, because it is about knowing who
you are, knowing what you want. And knowing that you're always
winning, as long as you are always going after it. It also
means you're not afraid of the potential loss that comes to
trying, you know, risk is the only way that you ever move
things forward, you have to get out of your comfort zone, even
just winning or acknowledging that you're winning might be
outside of your comfort zone. But if you are going to ever get
the life that you want, including the girl that you
want, including that paycheck that you want, then you are
going to have to take some risks, and you are going to have
to implement your will in order to get your way the key to going
after and getting what you want is believing that you deserve
it. And guess what that is not something that I can give to you
or any YouTube video will ever give to you. It's something that
you have to give to yourself believing that you are worthy of
the dreams that you have. And then going out and putting in
the work to make it happen every single day the alpha male sees
reaching his goals as an investment in himself. And he
knows that he's worth investing in Take it from someone who has
taken out more than their fair share of college loans to get
through their master's degree and to get into a Ph. D program
that they didn't actually finish. That's me and I have
invested since then probably over $100,000 in personal
development, maybe more more than I invested in college,
that's for dang sure. I've invested so much money in
myself. I'm not saying this to brag, I'm saying that because I
know I'm the safest investment that I can make. Because you
know what I can't control the stock market, my job, my boss or
any of the other things the car that I could buy the house that
I could rent, I can control those things. But when I put
money and time and attention into myself, I know that I can
control the outcome because I can work harder, I can work
smarter, I can sacrifice more than anything outside of my
control. And alpha men get that too. They are willing to invest
in themselves and they don't let fear get in the way they don't
let the fear that it's not going to work that you're not going to
mess it up that you aren't good enough that you're not going to
get the partner that you want because you're going to get up
because she's going to realize that you're useless you do not
let the fears get in the way of living the life that you are
wanting. worthy of you invest in yourself and you do not let
those nagging fears stop you before you even get started.
Number four, you have clear boundaries, and you speak up
when they're crossed. I hear from men all the time, that of
all of the amazing free content that I have created for y'all
that learning about boundaries has changed your life more than
anything else. And if you don't believe me, stay tuned because
one thing has been consistent about alpha males from the dawn
of time all the way up to today. They are not pushovers. They
have spines, sometimes rockhard spines, sometimes spines of
steel, that doesn't mean that they don't compromise. It means
that when it comes to the important things, the things
that are in conflict with your core values, your self worth,
you know how to draw the line, you don't let anybody no matter
how hot she is, no matter what the opportunity is, no matter
how much you want to be his friend, or hang out with his
friends or have his fame or his girls or whatever,
you do not let anyone step over your boundaries, including
yourself, and you tune into your internal compass. And you use
that to make decisions. Sometimes this actually means
leaning into your feminine side and being in touch with your
emotions. By the way, anger counts as an emotion. So when
you start feeling these emotions, that means that you've
got to stand up for yourself, maybe saying no to someone,
maybe saying hold off, I got to go. Maybe saying this is no
longer working for me, we got to reset or end this relationship.
Drawing a boundary means admitting that you've taken on
too much, or you've gone too far, or you need help, or you
need something to stop in your life, for you to be your
happiest, best version of yourself. And it means knowing
where you stand when you've been crossed or hurt or taken
advantage of. And simply putting a stop to it as a modern alpha
male, you understand that once in a while, you have got to be a
little vulnerable both to yourself and to others. And
you're not afraid to show that side because you don't see it as
weakness, you recognize that it is strength. It is part of the
strength of being a full human being and not a shell of one
that can't actually acknowledge the vulnerability that is
universal to all of us. There's been a lot of pressure on men to
be stoic, steely eyed, to have a stiff upper lip and do not show
any one weakness, such as emotion. But there's so much
more to being successful, there's so much more to being
confident, there's so much more to being the man who is alpha,
then being stoic. And this is one of the greatest gifts. So if
you are worried about the feminization of society, or if
you think that women are stepping too far out of the
kitchen, and taking too much control in the boardroom,
listen, this is not just a win. For women, this is a huge win
for you because it means that you now are allowed to be a full
human being, you are allowed to be an alpha and cry, you're
allowed to be an alpha and be vulnerable, you are allowed to
be an alpha and have boundaries and say no to that which doesn't
work for you, you get more freedom out of this deal to and
every step that women and gender warriors and non binary folks
taking the direction of claiming more and more space for all of
our different identities to show up and be respected. The same
happens for you, you are getting more and more freedom, all of
the time to show up as your full self and your full self can
absolutely be the modern contemporary version of an alpha
male, which personally I think is so much more attractive and
appealing, and frankly, magnetic and then your dad's and your
grandfather's versions of an alpha male. Now, if you want my
help at transforming from an average performer to a high
performing man, I have a whole host of online courses and video
programs where we can get deep together, there's only so much I
can show you on a YouTube video. One of the ones I'm most excited
about is on having an epic relationship and learning how to
actually communicate with the women in your life, not because
communication is for softies but because communication is
literally the only way that you get everything that you want in
and outside of the bedroom. And I guarantee up leveling your
communication with women is going to uplevel your
communication with your boss with your bros with the guy
that's flicking you off in traffic, etc, etc. And mostly
it's going to make you a happier and more stable version of
yourself. Check out all of the links in the description of this
video. I would love to be by your side and coach you through
having better erections. Being better communicating, having a
better relationship. You've got it all check it out below. I'm
Caitlin V. Make sure that you are subscribed so that you can
get more free content from me here on YouTube every single
week and I will catch you in the next video.
Bye