- But here's what's good about 30
is that you drink through your mouth
instead of pouring alcohol into a funnel into your butt.
(laughter)
That's the new craze.
(upbeat music)
- I don't consider 30 old, per say,
I consider it on the way up.
- 30 is midlife crisis and then you find yourself.
- When I hear the age 30 I think of better,
you know, more wisdom.
- I don't, I don't want to be 30.
- It seems old, it does. - 30 seems old.
- It does.
- I know. (cries)
- It's okay.
That's the scary part, is that you go to bed 29,
you wake up 30 and it's the same life.
- Everyone said midlife crises, that's not...
- Yeah, that's the weird ones.
- It's funny, what they don't realize is
that the quarter-life crisis I feel like
is actually pretty true.
You get out of college and then you're like. . .
- [Man] What am I doing with my life.
- [Woman] "oh shit."
- I think the quarter-life crisis is just
you have to pay rent.
- Parties will be irrelevant because I'll be too old.
- The parties will be ending early.
- Parties will be boring.
30-year-olds just drink wine
and let's have a night watching SVU.
- Parties at 30 actually get a lot better.
- Yeah
- Because the parties that you're going to now
are just loud music and skunk beer.
- Oh, and sweat
- And sweat. - And shame.
- Maybe this is good or bad but I still host
a lot of parties that go 'till 4 am.
- Where did you get that we all drink wine all the time?
- I've had wine before.
- Wine will become your best friend in your thirties
if maybe ditched the boxed wine.
- When you leave the party's over.
So it doesn't really matter what time it is.
- When I leave.
- Hopefully boys will be men by the time they're 30.
(laughter)
That's gonna be the best, or not.
I mean, maybe they need to be, like, 35, I don't know.
- I feel like by the time I turn 30 I really wouldn't care
what people think, at all.
- Depending on how cool my twenties are,
maybe I'll be married.
- But nobody will know that I am 30, when I'm 30.
Everyone's gonna think I'm still 29.
- Like right now I'm still kind of in that teenage mindset
where I feel that everyone's criticizing me
- But when I'm 30, I just wanna live.
- We'll be the wine-night 30-year-olds who are like,
"Ugh, those 20-year-olds don't know what they're doing."
- Uh-huh, but they sure are hot.
(laughter)
- The only thing that I've learned from 20 to 30
is that I don't know anything.
Once you realize that you don't know shit,
- Then you know shit. - Then you know shit.
- Yeah, you definitely come into your own
and you feel so much more comfortable just being yourself.
- If you think that women are gonna get better by the time
they're 30, just wait 'till you have a 40-year-old.
- The answer is you're not gonna be where you think you are.
- Yeah. Totes. - Deep.
(laughter)
- [voiceover] There's one last thing I'd like to say:
fireball is-- - [ Man in hat] Delicious.
- [Man with beard] Awful. - [Man in hat] Oh.
- None of these fools know what the f***
they're talking about.