anyone noticed yet today that my voice
sounds a little different does it sound
a little different to you a little
sexier a little lower thanks a lot
um
there's a reason for that I haven't
actually felt well today uh
you bastards yeah
[Music]
we're talking about my physical health
you can want ring spin but when I say
I'm sick
what if this is my lead into I have a
terminal illness
you don't know where I'm going with this
do you
all right well anyway
it is a want one because because
basically uh you know I I just have some
kind of virus or something and I uh I I
last night I was up all night really
sore throat I woke up today achy just
don't feel well come to work because the
show must go on
um or they'll fire my ass uh
so I got got through most of the day and
then this is true just about I don't
know like two hours or two and a half
hours before we tape tonight's show just
just a little while ago I decided I'm
just gonna go see a doctor so I went to
the NBC Medical Center here in the
building to visit the doctor and I know
my fans worry about me so uh I just
pretend and so so I asked someone to
grab a handheld camera and come along
with me while I visited the NBC Doctor
and we just shot this and uh and well
here's what happened
uh this is Tanya bennison she's the
associate medical director here at NBC
Universal Medical Services General
Electric subsidiary medical unit of GE
NBC NB server so now a Viacom
distributor
um thanks for seeing me no problem the
last two days I felt not great and last
night feverish
sore throat drank a lot of Nyquil a lot
of NyQuil and woke up with my pants
around my ankles in an alley actually
did you feel better I felt better sort
of the guy I was with
busy uh no I don't feel dizzy I'm mostly
I just feel sort of uninvolved in the
political process I don't really care
about who wins do you feel comfortable
talking about the stomach stuff that was
going on like was it nausea diarrhea
like what was uh what was that symptom
you really want me to talk about
diarrhea and television
I like the word diarrhea I think you
like to wear diarrhea too talk about it
you like to talk about diarrhea you're
an amazing woman do you ever find
yourself talking to patients and they
mention that that they've had diarrhea
and you start laughing
not anymore maybe when us that's sad
when all the joy goes out of your life
uh I think I'm in in great shape I think
I'm an amazing male specimen does anyone
ever say that anymore like you're an
amazing male specimen I think so maybe
ingest if this somehow could all end
with you saying well you're an amazing
male specimen and I had that on camera
that would be great but that's you
decide right should we go into the
examining room let's do that okay let's
start with picking your temperature all
right
this will be very exciting
foreign
how bad is it
you know your canals like this you're
almost 100 occluded with surprised you
can hear anything
always works that one one two three
let's take your tongue out ready uh do
you hate this oh good oh gag
what are you feeling there I was feeling
first of all in lymph nodes glands
anything tender
all right
there's a tattoo there
it says REO Speedwagon rules
1978. I thought Ben was gonna go the
distance oh my God two more
I want as much medication as I could
possibly have really do you have you
know sometimes you hear about like oh
there's a cool Tylenol that they only
sell in Sweden that has Codeine in it a
little bit of cocaine right you know and
marijuana is that something that I mean
I know that you can actually go help you
yeah no can I have it anyway
so badly do you need to listen to my
heart for any reason I don't but I'm
happy to would you like to listen to my
heart why don't you listen to my heart
what if I don't like what I hear you're
gonna like what you hear
like a tank
are you getting a good read on that
yeah
a little bit you haven't said anything
for a while
so completely unrelated to
sore throat um do you have much of a
prolapse
prolapse it's uh one of the valves in
the heart's just a little bit floppy I
just came here to shoot lights I'm
totally I came here to shoot like a
silly little I've got a cold and we're
gonna just screw around you're telling
me something real oh yeah but it's
nothing you don't have a murmur or
anything
um
I have a floppy heart I have a lot of
tension in my job I have a lot of inner
rage
uh I'm Irish Catholic stock I'm wearing
we don't do well in the long run we're
not people that live a long time would
you like to see me do some push-ups
right now
a little petite
all right what do you think I'm pretty
good man yeah yeah really fantastic I
think maybe replace male specimen
you think maybe I'm a male specimen now
if you say I think you're a male
specimen it means my gender is a little
in question
yes please yeah thank you
let's get this stuff for you this is the
sort of wimpy Sudafed because we can't
really get the real Sudafed anymore
because of the crystal meth problem so I
can't make crystal meth out of this
that's okay then do you think I'm gonna
be okay
I think so okay in the floppy heart I
mean that was a bit of a bump on the
road what I thought was going to be just
a quick fun remote uh I need a new heart
if anyone's watching no you're okay and
I think you'll live at least to 65. 65.
yeah wow that gives me four more years
Conan O'Brien is a fantastic male
specimen
all right
how do you feel now
I've got a floppy heart
all right everybody get a little break
me come back you gotta see this the
great prodini everyone