Hey, guys!
I'm Tracy!
And I'm Andy!
Hold on, hold on.
You're back!
I'm back!
Yay!
I know I was not invited, but I wanted to bring you these.
ABC-- Always Be Corey.
Oh no!
Oh my god.
Well, better late than never.
I know!
Always Be Corey!
I'm back.
Boom.
We missed you.
Isn't it funny that we actually work here?
And sometimes you can't be here?
It turns out that we actually have real jobs sometimes.
Last week proved it.
I know.
Yeah.
Well, because we have you-- and who
knows whenever somebody is going to get called,
we just need to get right into it.
We're getting into it.
Because I got lots of opinions.
Episode 2!
There's a lot to cover.
OK.
Lots of guys still.
Very cringe-worthy.
Yeah.
Very cringe-worthy.
What was fun about this one is it was our first set of dates.
We got our two group dates, our one one-on-one.
And we start off with the group date.
Which I actually thought this group date was really fun.
It was the Mr. Right pageant date.
It's my worlds colliding, though.
Because my two favorite shows on television are The Bachelor
slash Bachelorette franchise.
Right.
And Ru Paul's Drag Race.
Everything about that date was just so fun.
Yeah.
Because one, they had to wear speedos, which like--
And who doesn't--
Thank you.
Yeah.
OK.
So then the talent portion comes of the competition--
You could-- I don't know if you could call it that.
Luke, he's like, oh my god, what's my talent going to be?
Exactly.
What's my talent going to be?
What is your talent?
Yeah.
So what he does is he says--
he's like, I just am going to be me
the whole time, which is exactly what Hannah wants to hear.
The moment I saw you--
And yeah, the moment I saw you, I knew.
And I knew before I even met you I'm starting
to fall in love with you.
Goes right up to her, gives her a kiss.
They didn't show all the guys' faces,
but you know that there is this full-on group cringe of like--
Right?
Yeah.
And Luke P is crowned Mr. Right.
Yeah.
Maybe.
He's got the crown and the sash.
And then they go to the cocktail party.
So then Mike, who I called at the beginning, who I love Mike.
I love Mike!
Corey, you weren't here last week.
We love Mike!
Do you agree with our love for Mike?
I agree with your love.
I don't know about your prediction just yet.
I want more episodes.
But I do like Mike a lot.
Mike on Instagram posted a clip from our cubicle
of us saying that we think he could be the bachelor.
No!
Wait!
I DM'ed him.
I'm sorry, you what?
I DM'ed him!
I slid into his DMs.
OK.
I said Mike, that's me!
This is for real, I'm not joking.
I said, I stand by what I said.
Come in the cubicle some time.
And what'd he say?
He replied, and said, I'd love to come by sometime.
And truly appreciate the fun and kind words.
You're this year's cubicle Cam slash Luke P.
Yep.
I agree.
Just a little, you know, extra.
I was worried because when he started, like,
confronting Luke, I was like, oh no, is he going to become--
But I wanted someone to do that!
Because I was so annoyed with Luke.
Yeah, someone needed to.
That was too much!
Yeah, but I don't know about Mike doing it.
That's what he says, he's like-- he's like, dude, really, like,
how are you already saying that?
And Luke's like, you guys, like, I'm just,
like, that's what I am.
No, no, no, but then he went and said,
I want you to-- isn't that where he said I'm here to--
I'm here to-- when I want something,
I do everything I have to.
I do whatever I have to do.
Yeah.
Which is like, for me, that's all about the victory.
And then she gives the group date rose to Jed!
So then we go to the one-on-one date.
And it's with Tyler G. Who I have to say,
I didn't remember him at all.
I was like, who?
No.
Do you remember?
Like who is he, even?
I was like, what is his job?
This is what I think.
I think Tyler G got the one-on-one date
because so much more drama would have had with the other guys.
So they go ATVing.
And then they go to dinner on the top of the Hotel Roosevelt.
I know, that was a lot of fun.
We've been there.
We had a wrap party one year.
Little breezy up there.
Little breezy.
A lovely view.
But he gets the rose in this moment.
Great, wonderful.
Later.
OK.
So then we get to the second group date, which was--
Roller derby!
Roller derby.
Say it again.
Roller derby!
Is that your John Paul Jones voice?
No, that's my roller derby voice.
Oh. cute.
I was excited about roller derby.
It was fun!
By the way, these coordinated guys.
Can no one roller skate?
So then they go to the cocktail party of the date.
And the first person that Hannah pulls is Dustin.
Because he, like, kind of hurt his ankle.
And we're not sure.
Oh, broke his ankle, right?
Yeah.
They said, which was like whatever.
Yeah, broke his ankle but was walking fine.
Didn't go to the hospital.
He sure recovered fast.
And she talks to him.
So Cam decides-- he gets flowers probably from Ralph's.
And then he shows up at their group date, which
I will say, in my memory, I don't remember
anyone ever doing this.
I don't either.
I thought it was really--
That's what I'm saying!
He broke the mold.
You're not allowed to do that!
It makes for great TV.
But I was out of my mind, I was so irritated.
It was a ploy.
They needed to create some drama on that date,
because it was such a milquetoast date.
But you guys!
You know, you just got to ABC.
You got to always be--
You always be Cam.
You got to always be Cam.
He talked to her.
And I felt bad because I didn't know she--
I wish she would've been like, you're not allowed to be here.
She didn't seem happy to see him.
I know.
But she didn't, like, kick him out.
I think she was just so caught off guard.
So Cam goes outside for his little post interview.
And then as he's out there, guys start coming out.
One by one.
Which I'm like, go get your time with her.
What are you doing?
I was waiting to see the line-- next!
I know!
I know.
Next!
They all had a ticket.
And they all confronted him.
And he was like, look, you know, I'm just like, you know,
always being Cam.
Hey, this is a competition.
You got to get the time when you can get it.
I mean, to me, I'm not really investing much energy in him.
The rose goes to Dustin.
Hurt his ankle.
And fine.
He's super cute.
He's handsome.
I was OK with that.
All fine.
I thought it was a safe choice.
Yeah.
You roll up the ankle, you have the reason.
Yeah.
OK, so then we go back to the mansion.
And now it's time for the actual cocktail
party for the rose ceremony.
And Hannah comes in crying.
And I didn't know why.
I thought it was going to be a whole thing.
I thought she was going to say that someone died.
So did I.
I was-- I was like, wait.
I was like, oh no, someone died.
Something happened!
But nope.
I kept being like--
She rambled.
And she was like, where is it going?
Where's this going?
It's building, it's building.
And she's like, I just--
I'm so grateful to have all you guys.
I think it was a stress cry.
They could go outside and scream.
She does that with Kevin.
He's like, just let it out.
And that was a moment!
She was like, that's fun.
I think she needed that!
Because she was so pent up and it's really a weird headspace.
The nuggets.
So then Cam comes in.
I want to bring you two over here.
And pulls Kevin as part of it.
I was--
Poor Kevin!
--dying.
He was like, remember how I told you I was a picky eater?
This nugget's for you!
Here's a chicken nugget.
Here are some chicken nuggets.
And then he presents her with--
Honey mustard!
I was like, what is going on?
So then Kevin gets so upset.
Rightly so.
I'd be pissed.
He had this look on his face like ugh!
But if I was that upset, what I wouldn't do
is go and throw those chicken nuggets at him.
No, what a waste.
I'd eat them.
Eat them!
And be like, well, you can't have your chicken nuggets
because I ate 'em.
Here's the thing-- throw honey mustard at him.
Yeah!
It leaves a stain!
Then it looks like he did something!
Nuggets bounce off!
And they were on the floor and it was a waste.
Yeah!
And then you just waste it.
No one's going to eat a vat of honey mustard.
But the nuggets.
There's starving people.
So then the Luke P moment happens.
And he brings her over to a massage table.
Oh my god.
It was so uncomfortable.
So then Jed's like doo, doo, doo.
I'm going to go see my girl.
And then meanwhile, it's like boom-chicka-boom-chicka-boom.
I know!
It's not what you think!
And then the worlds collide, and he walks up.
It was so bad.
And he really is just like--
What's going on?
And Hannah literally goes, it's not what it looks like!
Yeah.
So then, she's like, can you give us a minute?
And Jed's like, uh, yeah.
Sure.
He walks away.
But then she felt guilty!
And she's like, how are we going to get out of this?
Of course!
She should!
That was a look at the producer moment.
She literally was like, what do I do?
What do I do?
I know.
But then she even said, she's like, how am I
going to get out of this?
What do I say?
Her guilt was tangible.
Like I can feel it, that I was like, ugh.
She rounds the corner, and Jed's waiting by the fireplace.
And honestly, he handled it as well as anybody could.
They didn't say anything!
Well, he made a joke about it.
He's like, I thought I should walk in with no pants on.
I was like, yeah!
And we were, woo, woo!
OK.
So then we have our rose ceremony.
And we--
It's pretty uneventful.
Yeah.
I mean, they tried to make it dramatic.
It seemed like Cam wasn't going to go home.
Keep cutting away.
And the last one is Cam, and that's always
the producer's choice, correct?
I just think that this year there's more than one villain.
I think she wanted to keep Cam, truthfully.
But I think the producers put it in
that order because he's going to be the villain.
Sure.
I think she's going to find out soon.
So we end up saying goodbye to Connor J. Oh yeah,
well, come on, obviously.
Daron.
Daron went home.
Sorry, Daron.
He was all right.
And we lost Matthew, which--
you hardly knew him, but he was very handsome.
Oh yeah, yeah.
Bye, Matthew.
Yeah.
And after the rose ceremony--
So we think that's it.
All right, see you, guys!
Good night, guys.
He knocks on Hannah's confessional room.
But he basically says, I just want
you to know that everything I've said has been 100% the truth.
He's just got good game.
I do think that this is going to backfire at some point.
I think it's going to backfire for Cameron.
Cam, I think it's going to backfire for him.
So then we get the tease.
Which the tease-- I will say this
was the first tease that got me excited about upcoming things.
I feel like the teases haven't been--
And Connor gets a date, right?
--super amazing.
Yes.
That's where they're in the bed together.
They're in the bed.
So then there is-- what's good about the tease is there is--
there's good moments with Peter.
It looks like her and Peter get more moments together.
He's like--
On the wings of love.
Which is cute.
I'm excited about.
I like him, he seems really nice.
He looks good.
And then--
We got good stuff coming.
Yeah.
And then Luke P.
Ugh, I hate it.
There looks like there's some drama with Luke P. He
looks like he tries to cut in.
And she's like, you need to slow your roll.
Well, it's just a lot.
Here's the thing.
I know there are like-- this is kind
of like what felt like a different season than before.
Because she is so young.
Definitely!
She's young!
She's vulnerable!
She's a novice.
Yes!
Yeah!
She's very vulnerable.
So there's different things to be excited about than, say,
like, in seasons past.
But I'm still excited.
I still love the show.
A big thanks to y'all for watching!
Big fan!
Always make sure to tune in next Tuesday for our recap.
It's time where I do this, and I talk a lot.
And you're going to comment below
to tell us what you think.
We might read them this time.
All right, I'm going.
[HONKING]
And we got new mugs!
I know!
Ellen shop!
Go to ellenshop.com.
Oh!
[CLUNK]
I'm all right!