and then there are these rumors that the
first family was considering adopting a
cat
oh yes and that is true can you confirm
that he's waiting in the wing
she she is waiting in the wings was this
your idea mr president
he doesn't know what a cat is
[Applause]
keep clapping what's your problem all
right the thing about rebellion
much like doing whippets it's only fun
in small bursts
let it go unheated or even sympathize
with it it only grows
and like my bikini line during lockdown
it turns on you
reminds me of the time i rescued a poor
kitten outside my apartment
only to learn a few months later it was
a raccoon
whatever was initially adorable now evil
it's like relationships some women date
the bad boy with the face tattoo
because she's fun and dangerous but it's
not fun a year later when he sold all
your furniture and he's passed out in
your living room which is also where he
keeps his bike
and his meth lab
which brings us to antifa and ted
wheeler the mayor of portland oregon
last july he stood with rioters after
100 nights of mayhem
or as cnn called it peaceful protesting
as they tried to injure the police
he tried to play the hip stepdad
promising he'll buy you beer if you
promise to drink it at home
i stand with you no matter
what and if they launch the tear gas
against you they are launching the tear
gas
against me um to save his thin white
skin
there he was standing side by side with
nuts
as if he was competing in the
three-legged race at a manson family
reunion
and yet they kept rioting remember it
was wheeler
who rejected help from the trump white
house and slammed those who wanted to
restore law and order to a once great
city
the words and actions from president
trump and the department of homeland
security
have shown that this is an attack
on our democracy keep your troops
in your own buildings or have them leave
our city okay braveheart
yeah how brave is that rejecting
life-saving help from trump just so you
can maintain
street cred with the scum and yet the
rioting didn't stop
so what did the mayor do next the same
thing
a month later i'm going to do the work
that i need to do here in my local
community
with my local officials to take
accountability for what's happening on
our streets and i'd appreciate that
either the president
support us or he stayed the hell out of
the way
well like charlie sheen's teeth that has
not aged well
now a year later even a dumb ass like
wheeler would realize he chose the wrong
allies who knew you couldn't trust a
bunch of angry dweebs wrapped in
bandanas torching buildings
while roaming the streets playing
pokemon go his new friends even
showed up showed their respect by
chasing him out of his very own
apartment
but wheeler thought hey maybe if i pet
the crocodile the reptile won't eat me
not so they continued
i know you'd think anarchists would
listen to the pleadings of a weak mayor
who seems more at home teaching massage
therapy at a strip mall than running a
city
so finally like a mob rat working with
the fbi he announced he needed help
getting his old allies arrested and
unmasked
and asked the public to get their names
and license plates to do the work that
he refused to do
our job is to unmask them
arrest them and prosecute them these
people often arrive
at their so-called direct actions
in cars and they're all dressed in all
black
if you see this call the police
if you can provide a license plate if
you can do so safely
that information can help later okay
rambo so now we want citizens to risk
their lives
as if he backed them up when they hits
the fan but we've already seen
how he turned his back on the cops but
no surprise annaphos still went on
damaging schools and churches
and of course their chances of ever
having success in life
and now they release a video in which
not only do they dox the mayor
they threaten to kill him
that you reside if you ignore this
message outright
the destruction to your precious way of
life is going to escalate
blood is already on your hands ted but
next time
it may just be your own
you know i know that's supposed to sound
scary but you know the person behind
that phony voice is a doritos stained
blob
who had to peel himself from his gaming
chair for the first time in months
and maybe that is his real voice he's
just breathing heavy from standing up
too fast
he likely has a hygiene problem because
he only showers once every moon phase
still they threatened a political leader
with death
then again so did madonna and johnny
depp and it didn't really matter
but it should but they're now
threatening a democrat so maybe it might
matter for once
i suppose you would call this terrorism
but they aren't trump supporters or
white supremacists
sorry that's redundant according to the
media
by the way if you want to see white
terrorists take a look at the mugshots
of portland rioters
even for a city that's 75 white they're
suspiciously pasty
apparently student loan debt causes
green hair and acne
i'm starting to think the cure for
antifa is getting laid
so i get no joy over wheeler being
threatened and i hope he
learns something from this other than
that it's not appropriate to wear a
cardigan to a riot
but maybe you should side with the
citizens before you side with those
who want to hurt them this is on page
two of how to be a mayor handbook you
thought that by
courting the barbarians they would stop
at the gate they didn't they correctly
surmised you had less balls than a
bodybuilder on steroids
and they ran you into the ground like a
rental car
that's what happens when you pretend
that you could be a mayor of a city but
you look like you're suited to be
manager at circuit city
so we're here for you ted you need help
america's got you
even if you don't get us
let's welcome tonight's guests
they created a morning show to make him
think he has friends
fox and fred's co-host brian kilmee
the only kennedy we trust for a ride
home
host of kennedy on fox business network
kennedy
he's so smart einstein copied his
homework former white house press
secretary and fox news contributor harry
fleischer
and every picture of him is the big
picture
a massive sidekick and host have not set
up fox nation tyrus
so brian uh you've been a long-standing
supporter of antifa
for years right uh i bet you feel pretty
gross right now
all right i regret uh if i had to pick a
terror organization i picked the wrong
one
but i found out it's not just antifa
it's also blm together destroying the
city
which i think is important one thing was
pretty clear and only this show put it
together
the aging of ted wheeler i have never
seen somebody age
faster yes than a man with a hundred
plus days of rioting
and there's one other thing i learned
from ted wheeler that you should
probably keep in mind and the country
should learn from
you have spent your life not pleasing
people that's true that has worked for
you
and it's every day you don't please
anyone and that ted wheeler tried to
please
and he ends up embarrassed so the great
gut-felt mantra is
please no one make no one happy and the
rest of the country can live happily
ever after
i think my wife might agree with that
okay good job your sidekick does
[Laughter]
this is deeply hurtful i want you to
know that i'm spending this weekend
crying kennedy
this is like every other weekend yes
that's true you know kennedy whenever we
talk about this you always say
ted wheeler is awful but the alternative
is
worse so there's actually you could if
you say like they got to get rid of him
the next
choice for mayor is usually like a
squirrel with a methamphetamine problem
that actually would be
an improvement yeah the the the woman
that ran against him
and and they were neck and neck going
into the november election
was actually an antifa supporter right
so maybe they're trying to get him to
resign
and they're dum-dums and they think that
the order of succession
is just the next person who almost
almost got the most votes
in the last election that's not
necessarily how it works but it's really
sad
to see the city where i grew up and
devolve into this yeah and they have
been
on a long slow decline for quite some
time
and it's not surprising and this is what
happens when you try and appease
a group of domestic terrorists yeah it
doesn't end well
and this truly is and and i was reading
uh this article today to my 12 year old
daughter and i was telling her this is
what domestic terrorism is
when you're threatening someone's life
when you're threatened to kill someone
for a political outcome
when you're trying to scare them into
changing their behavior
that's textbook terrorism mm-hmm yeah
you know all right your daughter's gonna
have nightmares
i mean you're who you're reading to her
well she's already living in new york
city so she's like
sounds like a vast improvement mom five
kids i'm never gonna read to them
good idea unless it's on prompter yes of
course
what's that mean all right uh enough you
uh
all right okay we all agree that
terrorism of any stripe
is bad but for some reason this type of
terrorism is kind of almost excusable
by our mainstream media well of course
it is because the left is tolerant
so when you tolerantly threaten to
murder somebody you're still being
tolerant
it just is the cloak that you get to
wear when you come from the soft
side of the left yes and the precise
rolls right along with it but you know
all of this nonsense began in
minneapolis after the george floyd
murder
the mayor of minneapolis said the
solution was radical
love if you remember that and then it
spread to the summers of love
in portland and seattle which of course
just opened up the floodgates and the
doors for the hatred the looting the
violence the mayhem
and the riots and this is brought to you
by the left and
i'm glad you condemn it i'm glad you
bring attention to it and i'm glad the
mayor has flip-flopped after
a hundred nights of riots yeah you know
uh tyrus i need to ask you
if you were mayor how would you solve
this problem now or is it too late or
would you oh it would have been over a
jump
it would have been over here first of
all i would have supported my police
department from jump i would have made
sure they had raises
and all the facilities they needed and i
would have the national guard in there
like that like what like that
there should have been he had a he had a
moment though where he should have known
that he was on the wrong side of it
if you watch the video when he turns to
me and my constituents and there was no
one behind him
he watched that video back when he
motioned to the back it was empty chairs
even the
even the sign language guy was like
it's on the tape watch it but you know
it's that old
that old story the the frog and the
scorpion yeah doesn't matter how you
carry them or what you promise them
eventually they're going to sting you
this this isn't even a political group
they don't have enough
depth to have a political agenda it's
just give me free stuff or i'll burn you
down
if they're just children that need a
good old-fashioned spanking and who
better
than the boys in blue and our national
guard to get things right down there but
they they
are arrested but the the d.a will not
charge them with anything so it's a
catch-and-release program
and mike schmidt who's the d.a in
portland has done an incredible
disservice to people who live there
and businesses in the entire community
and not to mention people who would ever
go visit there why would you
see if i was married be catch and catch
yes catch and keep
catching keep would be my philosophy and
that that that general would have been
out
by i would be catch and release but from
a bridge yes no no no a short little
bridge so they land
comfortably in water it is the city of
bridges what it's the city of bridges
it is a beautiful city of bridges lots
of fog too hard to identify
yeah that's just putting that out there
speaking of hard to identify
what happens like in the okay so at some
point this antifa thing is going to die
down
how do they get jobs do they get jobs
are these just do we end up just taking
care of these
idiots no one's working and now antifa
all you have to do is apply for it you
get your unemployment plus 300
at least until they're going to happen
until at least september yeah so they
can't wait or they can't get that bus
boy job they aspire to
it's not going to happen no no no no
yeah go knock the bus boys i'm sorry i
apologize
you fox and friends elitists right with
their curvy couches
and your cooking segments think you can
come up in here
and bash the bus boys right yeah
you know neither juicy would do that
one or the other one
[Laughter]
you are you are angry about the busboys
than you are about antifa
i am no you don't know his back story
you know it was years of bus but i was
raised by bus boys
fantastic but i'd like to see those
adoption papers we're missing the point
though these they're not looking for
jobs
they get elitist to donate gofundme
pages yeah they get invaded
no you know what they want to be you
know they get so there's no point to
work no no no no when they grow up they
all want to be social media influencers
that's their job well good luck with
that hey sean hannity here hey
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