- I meet people all the time
who say things like,
"My boyfriend doesn't make me happy,"
"My wife makes me stressful,"
"My boss causes me so much pain."
And I tell everyone the truth,
it is your job to make yourself happy.
It's no one else's job to make you happy.
You are the only person who can change your life,
your job, your body, your relationship.
So if you give someone else a job,
"Hey, it's your job to make me happy,
it's your job to make me feel good."
If I give someone else that job
you know what else I give them?
I give them the power to make me unhappy,
to make me feel bad.
(upbeat digital music)
If I depend on someone else for how I feel
they can make me feel good or bad.
But then I remembered it is my job,
my job to feel happy,
my job to change my life,
to change my job,
to change my feelings,
to change my relationships,
to change my health.
I don't go, "Hey doctor, here I am,
I'm not well, can you make me better?"
I go, "Hey, I've got to make myself better."
You see responsibility, that word
"responsibility" means
an ability to respond.
And if you want to be response-able,
be able to respond to all the stresses
and like, "Okay, I can fix this,
I can get over this,
this too will pass,
this will go,
I can choose to be happy."
Happiness is an inside job.
There is no journey going "Hey, I've got on a train,
I'm going to arrive at happiness."
No, no, no.
Happiness is the destination
all along the way.
I was at my daughter's amazing wedding last weekend
and I chose, I'm going to be happy on the drive down.
I'm going to be happy the night,
I'm going to be happy getting ready.
"Oh, I bet you're so nervous."
I'm not nervous.
I'm excited.
My baby's getting married to the best guy in the world
and I'm choosing to go.
I'm so excited.
"Are you nervous about your speech?"
No, I could be.
And choosing to be so happy.
I'm going to share that happiness.
And all through the wedding, I remind myself,
"This is a choice."
My daughter's saying, "Mommy, it's going to rain."
I'm like, "I hope it doesn't.
If it rains, it'll still be an amazing day,
because we are going to choose
to love that."
One of my great friends got an amazing picture.
She's holding an umbrella,
see through, and she and her husband are under the umbrella
having their first kiss in the rain.
It's so romantic.
You can choose,
I wouldn't let rain spoil my wedding.
I'm going to let something spoil my day.
When you understand that you can use these words.
"I am choosing to feel great about this.
I'm choosing to understand it's just traffic,
it's just a delay,
something's going on at the airport."
I was flying
from LA to London,
a couple of months ago,
I turned up at the airport,
and my flight was delayed seven hours.
I'm like, well that's a bummer.
But you know what?
I'm going to sit in the lounge and work on my emails.
If you've got a phone, there's hundreds of things to do.
And then, when I was leaving Amsterdam,
got to get to the airport four hours earlier.
I said, "I'm going to go on Eurostar."
That was canceled.
Four hours wait at the airport.
But I chose to think
"Hey, don't we always say I'd love some time to myself?
I've got four hours.
I can read,
I can make calls,
I can go into my emails,
I can get a lot of stuff done."
That six hours at LAX, I got so much work done.
My husband went to sleep,
we got on the plane, went back to sleep,
arrived in London, missed all our meetings,
rescheduled them.
But we didn't go, "Oh, this is a nightmare,
this is hell,
this is so annoying."
When you have a phone you ring someone and say,
"Hey, I'm delayed,
I'm late, something's changed."
We have a choice every day
to choose what something means.
And when you choose to remind yourself, "You know
it's my job to make myself happy,
it's my job to go after the success I want,
it's my job to make this relationship work."
Even your job to be orgasmic,
it's not someone else's job to give you an orgasm.
It's your job
to work out what your body likes.
How does it? Just say, "Hey, you know what I love,
I love this and more of this,
that thing there doesn't really work for me,
but this really works."
It's your job to say,
we say we're all going out for pizza.
"Yeah, I don't eat pizza.
I don't do great with gluten and cheese
but I'll just eat all the toppings."
My daughter's third day of her wedding,
it went on for four days
was a pizza party around the board.
I didn't go, "Oh, that's not fair."
I just picked out all the toppings.
I had tuna fish and olives, and I found
lots of things to eat
because it's my job to think,
"No, I'm not great with gluten,
I'm not great with dairy, but I can find something else."
And I took some stuff with me just in case.
And when it's your job to take some food on a flight
to have some nuts and seeds in case there isn't any food.
When it's your job to be organized.
I travel all over the world.
I literally last month went from
LA to London,
straight to Amsterdam, straight back onto Jordan,
straight back to Carolina, literally onto LA back to London.
and the next day I was in a training,
RTT® in Rushton.
How do I do that?
I have everything packed in advance.
When I left LA, I had my stuff packed for Amsterdam.
When I left Jordan, I had my stuff packed
to go to Carolina
and I don't moan and complain because I'm organized.
I'm going to Ibiza in the morning,
coming back for three days, going straight to Estonia,
coming back, going straight to Germany.
I could go, "Oh my God, this is hell."
But I go, "Wow, I'm so lucky.
All my friends are retiring.
I'm having the best time.
I'm going to amazing countries,
I'm being paid to go,
I'm speaking to people who like me
and it's fun.
I don't want to retire."
I love this expression,
when hope dies, old age runs to meet you.
It's never running to meet me
because I'm responsible for thinking,
"Hey, I want a full life."
I love traveling.
Also love coming home and seeing my daughter,
my new son-in-law,
my family,
but I am responsible.
I plan ahead,
I organize things ahead.
When I'm going to be in LA, I call all my friends
and I fill out my diary
because I'm responsible for my social life,
for my career.
I'm responsible for booking things.
I go, "Oh my God, I forgot to book the dentist,
I forgot to do this."
So when you decide,
"I am responsible," you start to make calls,
you start to organize,
you start to plan ahead.
When I'm going to an event
I usually take some healthy food with me.
I don't go, "Oh my God, there's nothing to eat but donuts?"
It's not someone else's job to feed me the food.
It's my job
to pick up the phone and go, "Hey
I'm coming to speak at your event,
what's the catering?"
"Oh, we've got donuts and hot dogs."
"Okay.
I'm going to bring my own tuna fish and hard-boiled eggs,
and maybe you could get me some tuna fish
and hard boiled eggs."
I'm not a princess. I don't want a big deal.
But it's my job
to plan ahead, organize my life.
You know, I love that song by Bruce Springsteen,
called "Dancing In The Dark."
"I want to change my job, my hair, my clothes, my face."
Well, you can do that,
you can change your job,
you can change your clothes,
you can change your hair.
You can change your face by being happy.
When I do, RTT® people say, "Wow,
this person they look 10 years younger."
My cameraman was always saying, "Gosh
every person you work with looks younger. Why is that?"
All the stress drains out of their face.
You look amazing.
So you can change your face.
Smile a lot, laugh a lot,
reframe things.
Don't say, "I've got an awful memory."
Say, "I've got an amazing memory."
Don't say, "My kids are driving me crazy."
Say, "My kids, are age-appropriate.
This is normal.
One day they won't even be here,
and I'll long for them to be back
smearing peanut butter on my fridge and
dropping juice on the floor.
One day, I'll miss that." Because it goes so fast.
So remember you, only you,
you and you alone are response-able
to change your life,
change your job,
change your career,
change your attitude.
There's a great song I love by The Pointer Sisters.
"I've got a new attitude, I'm feeling good."
Change your attitude,
change your thoughts,
change the way you look at things,
change the way you talk about things.
And guess what?
When you change what you're looking at
and when you change how you talk about it,
what you're looking at changes.
So when I looked at my daughter's wedding, it was joy,
it was excitement.
I was amazed; people saying, "Oh, you must be so nervous."
No, anxious.
I'm happy.
When I had my baby, this little girl who just got married,
a nurse came out and said, "Well,
you might have postnatal depression."
I went, "Oh no, no, no.
I'm having postnatal euphoria.
I've already signed up for it.
I'm having postnatal."
This baby,
I call her my nonstop.
I never said, "Oh my God it's hell."
So that she was my nonstop driver.
Said I could never have a baby, ever.
I could never get pregnant.
If I did, I wouldn't carry a baby to full term.
I didn't go from doctor.
I thought, "Hey, I'm going to have a baby.
It's up to me."
I hypnotized myself,
I told my body, I got pregnant,
I talked to that baby every day.
I was told seven times was going to lose it.
It's not going to go to full term.
But I knew that it was my job to talk to that baby.
I thought, "My body's going to grow that baby.
And I'm going to grow the baby emotionally,
while my body grows it physically
by connecting all the time
to how much she was wanted."
When she was born, she was perfect.
And I thought, "Wow.
All those things they told me, she'd be underweight,
she'll have something wrong with her."
She was great,
because I didn't give someone else the job.
And, and when you are going to see a doctor
if you ever have to go to see one,
do not give them the job.
"Here I am."
"Oh, that's terrible."
It's your job to be,
"No, I'm not letting that in.
I'm not going to let that,
I'm not going to believe that."
"Well, you see your family's got the depressed gene."
No they haven't,
they're just all super negative.
"Your family's got the alcoholic gene."
They absolutely have not.
"Your family's got the fat gene."
Well, maybe they just all eat really badly.
Do not give agency to a doctor, a nurse, a teacher.
My teacher told me, "You will never amount to anything."
My daughter's teacher said to her,
"Do not apply to a good art school,
you'll never get in
because your art is average."
I was so cross that she said that
because my daughter is an amazing artist.
You could never look at her work and call her average.
But I taught her, don't let that in.
And one of the things that has changed my life
and can change your life is
do not
let in destructive criticism.
People can say horrible things about you.
Some people go onto YouTube
and say horrible things about me.
I read it and go, "That's a sad person."
Nobody wakes up and goes, "Hey, I'm so happy,
my life is so great,
I think I'll go online and troll someone today."
"I'm having such a good time,
who can I bully at work or at school?"
So if people are mean, they're telling you
they're not happy.
Be happy, it's the best revenge,
the best success and do not let
destructive criticism in.
And one of the best ways to be response-able
is to praise yourself a lot.
"I'm a good person."
"I'm a nice person."
"Who cares if I'm five pounds heavier?
Does that really matter?
Do these wrinkles matter?
Does the fact that some idiot
I thought I liked who left me matter?
No.
What matters is, if somebody loved me once
then I have all the template for love
and I'll have it again."
So, really look at how you dialogue with yourself.
Fall in love with yourself.
How do you do that?
It's actually really, really easy.
There are three things to do that show
that you are loving you.
The first is,
how you're talking to yourself.
Be nice,
be kind,
praise yourself, focus on your good points.
The second is how do you treat yourself?
You drink water.
Do you eat some healthy stuff?
Do you get enough sleep?
If you are staying up all night eating Pringles
and drinking beer,
then you're not loving yourself at all.
And the third way is how do you let people talk to you?
If they're rude, if they're abrasive,
I just say, "I'm sorry,
I don't let people talk to me like that.
You're being very rude
and I don't like that.
You're being mean, and it's not, not right."
"I speak to everyone like that."
"Well, that's their choice, here's mine."
I don't let people talk to me in a rude way.
I don't let people speak to me using
harsh, hurtful, critical words.
And I never
speak to myself using harsh, hurtful critical words,
because that is how to invite depression.
So be nice to yourself,
treat yourself with care.
Let everyone else treat you well.
And now guess what?
You've just succeeded a thousand percent
in being responsible for your health.
So discover how you can create
and manifest alternate confidence
by listening to my hypnotic audios today
and let me know how you get on.
I know they can help you immensely.
Thank you.