Good morning Hank, it’s Thursday. Pizzamas is hurtling
toward its conclusion which means that all the amazing
Pizzamas stuff including this truly extraordinary t-shirt is available
only for a couple more days at pizzamas.com front load the promo.
It’s question Thursday, the day that I answer real questions from
real Nerdfighters. Let’s get right to it. Favorite pizzamas merch? I mean,
it’s all incredible. But this Pizza John zine where all these people drew
Pizza John from memory? It’s magic. Also, I absolutely love this blanket.
I mean, sometimes I marvel not just at the existence of Pizzamas
but at its longevity. How is a 10 year old joke getting funnier?
Would you rather have one John-sized pizza, or 100 pizza sized
Johns? I feel like the 100 pizza sized Johns both have more potential risk
and more potential reward. Like on the one hand it might be stressful to
have 100 tiny, neurotic people inside my house all the time. But
on the other hand maybe they could do some of my work for me?
Actually, the more I think about it, the 100 pizza-sized Johns are
gonna be way more trouble than they’re worth. I’m gonna pick the pizza.
I should always just pick the pizza. Do people ever tell you that
your head looks bigger in person? Not that I can recall. Most people
when they meet me for the first time don’t comment on my
appearance at all, which by the way is probably the way to go
in such encounters. What does your late night Youtube look like?
I watch a lot of this guy sanding cow hooves. I don’t know why,
I’m not particularly interested in the field of sanding cow hooves.
But I also can’t stop watching. How’s your brother Dave?
Ah, you know Dave. He’s just kinda doing Dave stuff. I used to feel bad
for Dave because he didn’t have a Twitter and a Youtube and all that.
But now I think he just achieved enlightenment. Is there more to love
than just chemicals? Probably not? But you know, really good chemicals.
Why did you stop making videos about unerotic giraffe sex?
Ok so first off, there is no other kind of giraffe sex. But secondly, this gets
at something which is pretty personal and deep, which is that I look at
myself from 12 years ago and I think, oh goodness. Did he want to be
popular. And then I got enough of that to want it less. Best fact
you learned this week? I signed up to have Hank text
me a terrible pizza joke for every day of PIzzamas and in the
one from yesterday I learned that the musician Pink worked at
Pizza Hut which is like not a particularly interesting or important
fact, but it’s also the only fact I remember learning in the past week.
Why do I know the color of the rented Lamborghini that Justin
Beiber was arrested in a decade ago but I don’t know the name
of like my children’s classmate’s parents? Like, I look at them and
I’m like, I know that we’ve been introduced countless times, and
your name is… Jim? I always think it’s Jim but it’s never Jim. What was
the question? Pink worked at Pizza hut. Favorite art assignment in
Sarah’s book? I use a lot of them, I use them to find quiet, I use
them to decide what to write about, and also kind of what
to think about? The one I use the most is this
one: never see never will. In which you are asked to articulate something
that you know exists but that you have never seen and probably
will never see. Because for me, it’s a way into thinking about the
fact that I don’t know almost everything. Do you have any recommendations
for breathing exercises? I do. Life on the internet often moves
so fast that we forget that we’re breathing. Like check out how long
this breath takes: [breathes].
That’s an eternity in Youtube time.
Here’s what I find personally helpful, I try to take a few conscious breaths
and then I remind myself of the strange and lovely fact that my lungs were
made for this air. It’s not like a metaphor or live, laugh, lovey to say that my
breath is deeply interwoven with all life on this planet and with the basic
chemical makeup of Earth. And I try to remind myself of that. Alright, that
got a little serious. Steer it back to Pizzamas. Hank I’m gonna miss
Pizzamas so much when it’s gone. I’ll see you tomorrow.