This week, an incredibly damning new book
about President Trump came out
by renowned journalist Bob Woodward.
And that's the third,
third negative Trump book out this month alone.
There are two others
from Trump's former attorney Michael Cohen
and Melania's former best friend.
I cannot think of another president
who's had this many negative books come out
while still in office.
Andy, do you have any of these books?
Actually Conan, I have all of them.
And you can, too by joining the Trump Book of the Day Club.
Every day you'll receive a new book
about the President and his family
often written by someone with deep inside knowledge
and always painting a devastating portrait
of an unfit lunatic let loose in the White House.
You'll get titles like these.
"Oval Office, Square Colon:
The Medical Records of Donald Trump."
"Destroyed! 600 Trump Jokes that in the End, Did Nothing."
"Imagine You're a Walrus and Other Ways to Get Through Sex"
by Melania Trump.
"Remember Me? No? That's Okay,
I Still Have a Lot of Dirt on Trump" by Omarosa.
"Not Proofread: Just Trying to Shit This Book Out
Before the Electoin" by Carl Bernstein.
"What a Douche" by Pope Francis.
"A Lifetime of Unthinkable Abuse"
by Donald Trump's gold toilet.
"I Went to High School with Ivanka.
Not the Same Year, but I Heard She was Kind of Mean"
by Jennifer Flack.
"Becoming" by Melania Trump with Michelle Obama.
"Of Course I'm a Lunatic" by Donald Trump's doctor.
"Selt and Pooper: Melania's Weird Mispronunciations
of Common Spices" by a White House chef.
"He's a Terrible Person, and That's Coming From Me,
the Literal Devil" by Stephen Bannon.
"Wasn't Doing Much, Thought I'd Write a Trump Book"
by Dean Cain.
"7 Melanias" written by the seven identical septuplets
who play Melania Trump.
"I'll Make You a Star, Kid:
The Pep Talk I Gave to the Coronavirus"
by President Donald J Trump.
"How to Make a Rose Garden Racist Somehow"
by White House gardener Steve Gillis.
"Girl, Interrupted" by Mike Pence.
And finally, "Mushroom Penises Make Mushroom Clouds"
by Stormy Daniels.
The Trump Book of the Day Club, it never stops.
Never, even like when you think,
well, this is the one that will totally sink the guy.
Surely this is the last account I'll see of his corruption,
cruelty, and total incompetence.
No, there is no bottom.
Happy reading, everyone!