Hey Youtube, Jim here!
Welcome to Top10Archive!
Anyone who likes stories of True Crime looks to them for a dark curiosity of all things
menacing.
From criminals with no regard for others, sociopaths, analytical and strategic murderers,
we watch these crimes with fear.
Sometimes, however, we find criminals that just didn’t have it in them.
They spook easily, they don’t know how to lie, or they simply aren’t good at being
delinquents.
What’s even better is when we catch these hilarious criminals on camera!
These are the Top 10 Dumbest Criminals Caught on Tape.
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10.
I'm A Barbie Girl, In A Criminal World.
This woman is by no means a hardened criminal.
If I had to guess, I’d say someone in her house took her car out and she had to resort
to whatever worked.
Those errands aren’t going to do themselves!
She did look like she was enjoying it too much, laughing even when she got pulled over!
We hope her fine wasn’t too bad, because there's a good chance it costs more than the
vehicle she was pulled over in.
All I want to know is if the cop asked her “Do you know why I pulled you over?”
while maybe she pretended to roll down the window.
9.
What does “possession” mean?
In case you were wondering, when a police officer asks you if you have a weapon, your
brother’s 12-gauge shotgun tucked next to your seat definitely counts.
This man seems to not have known that, because when drilled about why he had lied about his
possession of the weapon, he simply said: “that’s not mine, that’s my brother’s”.
Of course, it does play in your favor to act dumb when you’re not supposed to legally
have a weapon, and to play confused as to what exactly “possession” means.
He was asked if he was a criminal, to which he responded “no,” but when his history
was pulled up, it was, in the officer’s words “quite lengthy.”
What did the man have to say?
“I mean I’m not a criminal right now”.
After this guy completes probation, someone needs to give him a Netflix comedy special!
8.
Real Sneaky In our next lesson of delinquency 101, our
top tip is, if you’re hiding something, please be chill.
If you’re getting cuffed at that exact time, maybe don’t break free to dive into your
glove compartment.
First of all, that officer will not feel great about the move you pulled.
Second, as soon as they catch you, which will be seconds later, they’re going to go straight
for the glove compartment.
As we can see in exhibit A… this will lead to a struggle which will inevitably end with
you being thrown to the ground and your shirt being embarrassingly lifted from your less-than-fit
body.
So, whatever it was that this guy wanted to reach, not only do they have it, they also
have him on camera trying to grab it, he’s gained experience in honking with his face,
and he’s probably pretty scuffed up as a result.
Class dismissed.
7.
"He Said, She Said" Goes Wrong Ah, nothing like a scuffle between two lovebirds
under the influence.
As if the video knew exactly what the viewer was feeling, the cop narrates “well, I don’t
know what happened, I just got here” and so did we.
Something happened, a woman is walking away, and a man is being held against the squad
car shirtless.
He, unprompted, says “she said I assaulted her, I didn’t touch her.” and then moves
to “she wanted me to assault her” pretty quickly.
Soon after he’s in the backseat on his way to be processed and makes just one last attempt
at a deal.
“If you let me go I’ll be nice” Who could say no to that?
Oh yeah, anyone in their right mind.
6.
DOPE IN THE CAR?!
This criminal, though his time in the spotlight is short, has to be one of the biggest stars
of our list.
Clearly, he understands that the louder you shout back an accusation at an officer, the
more innocent you look.
He gets pulled over and searched against the squad car when the officer asks him “you
got some dope in the car?”
And he proceeds to loudly ask him “DOPE IN THE CAR?” it was so loud, that the officers
actually shushed him while he apologizes with a look like “sorry, it’s just outrageous.”
He continues the act saying he had previously run because he had been accused of “raising
a hand to his deputy” when in reality he had raised his hand as one does in disbelief.
He’s got potential, I’ll give him that.
His parole should include acting classes.
5.
A Drunk Retelling When cops are called in after a bar fight,
they have to be ready for anything.
Most of all, they have to be ready to talk to some really dumb people.
This can, as it did here, result in comical dramatizations of what happened.
In this case, both the assailant and the “victim” are pretty stupid.
The cops first approach the aggressor who starts to tell the story in a totally snicker-provoking
way.
First, we need to note that he’s wearing a shirt that says “broke and violent.”
“Broke and violent” calls his victim “this dude” and claims he was roommates with “some
old girlfriend” of his and he’s been looking for him at the pubs.
He’s asked about the fight “just fists?” to which he responds “yes,” like a child
who’s been asked if he just opened the cookie jar without taking anything.
“Did the knife come out?” he said “no.”
And that was that until they spoke to the other guy, who starts play-acting what happened”
“he comes to swipe at me and I’m like that” he dramatizes jumping out of the way
speedily.
Then we circle back to “broke and violent” who’s informed that the victim has a puncture
wound in his back.
To this, he responds with a quiet “what?” and then he probably woke up hungover in jail
the next day.
4.
Don’t Bite A Cop Ah, another great lesson from another dumb
criminal.
There are many ways to get thrown to the ground by a police officer.
We could make a list just about that, but let us be clear that this is a guaranteed
way of making it happen.
If you are mid-arrest, for whatever it may be, your domestic disturbance, your breaking-and-entering,
if you try to bite the arresting officer you will be thrown to the ground immediately.
This woman, clearly not quite in her right mind, might not have known that... the first
time.
She asks the officer, who is holding her by the arms to let her go, which of course he
will not.
She then takes her teeth to his forearm, not quite catching him, and he throws her down.
He explicitly says to her “let me tell you something, you are NOT gonna do that.”
but did she listen?
No.
When she’s sitting, cuffed behind an ambulance, she attempts it again and gets her head pushed
down hard.
Meanwhile, the paramedic watches with, clearly, some amusement.
I mean, come on, you already tried this, Stacy.
3.
Drops All His Money This criminal may be stupid or just paying
for his bad karma instantly.
It appears from where the video starts, that he just committed some sort of robbery.
He must have hit it big, too, because whatever wad he just stole, he starts throwing bills
out into the street left and right.
Unfortunately for him, it was quite a rainy day and his loot is blowing away quicker than
he can ever stand to watch.
He knows he can’t really run after it, cars are starting to line up in the street waiting
for him to make a move and it’s getting suspicious.
More money flows out of his coat pockets and we see his desperation get worse as he realizes
he will probably not see even half of what he just reaped.
Maybe he got caught, maybe he didn’t, but he certainly didn’t get off with what he
wanted.
2.
Is It Worth It?
Resorting to crime may be a last-minute option.
Maybe you lost your job or your debt payment is due.
Whatever it is, it’s not worth stealing the large apparatus in the office worth pennies.
Sure, the machine may be worth a few bucks but listen, Timmy, that isn’t going to pay
your rent.
This criminal has gone all-out in his attire and his approach, but miscalculated just a
few small details.
He appears to be alone in some sort of facility after hours trying to steal a prized possession
that’s going to be his big break.
Here’s the thing though, who knew this thing was so huge?
It’s heavy, it doesn’t fit through the break in the door, now he can’t seem to
break the door well enough for it to fit.
In the end, he has no choice but to go through a separate door and throw it over the electric
fence surrounding the premises.
He’ll pick it up later.
1.
Sir?
You can’t do that.
At least our number one is actually a super young guy.
We can blame all his naivety, all his stupid criminal tactics on it being probably his
first attempt at real delinquency.
This kid is at an electronics store trying to walk away with, well, free electronics.
But, see the store has kind of thought ahead here.
I’m not sure if this is his first time at an electronics store, but he seems to have
not known or forgotten that they’re tied up with wires!
Also, it’s all super sensitive and constantly sounding off alarms for no reason, so even
tampering with them is a bad idea.
It is just incredibly entertaining to watch him try, loudly, while breaking a ton of laptops
and coming away with nothing.
Man his parents must have been so embarrassed.