All right, guys. Let's talk a little bit
about loneliness. How do you overcome
loneliness? How do you deal with it? I
know there's a lot of people out there.
They struggle with a feeling of being
alone? In fact, one person sent me the
question. They said, "Stefan, how do you
overcome the feeling of being alone, the
loneliness on the path of success?"
Because in order for you to achieve your
goals and dreams, there's going to be times
in your life were you might have to take
that road that's less traveled. You might
have to leave people behind. You might
have to grind things out alone by
yourself for months on end. You might
have to make sacrifices at different
points in your life and and spend less
time with some of your friends and
family or take that lonely
road, that narrow path.
How do you deal with it? To be honest
with you, guys, I don't really feel lonely
in my life. I can't actually remember the
last time that I did and I have a hard
time relating to this because
many years ago that I can recall feeling
the emotion of loneliness but I haven't
felt it in years and it's not that because
I'm not alone.
The truth is I'm alone a lot. I spend most of
my life alone. I've got great friends and
family, I got a great girlfriend, but most of
the time I'm alone.
I've got a team. I've got staff, virtual and
local, but most the time we work from
home and I work alone.
I work from my apartment. I've traveled
alone for months on end. I've been single
at different times in my life for
several months. It's not because I'm
not alone.
I spent a lot of my time alone and
I'm actually more, by nature, an
introvert. I think extroverts
struggle more with this because
extroverts they always need to be around
people. When they're not, they can feel
alone. Introverts tend to be more
comfortable being alone because they got to
recharge. I think the core belief
that I have that really helps me with
this and ensures that I never feel
lonely is I actually believe that's
impossible to really feel alone and to
be alone because the truth of the
reality is is that you're never really
alone. You're never alone
and I think
the reason for that is, number one, you
have a relationship with yourself, which
I think is one of the most important
relationships that you need to have. Then
also based on your spiritual
beliefs, also relationship with the
universe, God, your Creator, or whatever
you want to call it. I believe
that you're never really alone and I
think loneliness is when you have
certain needs that you're trying to meet
externally through other people that
aren't being met internally. I think
that you can meet your needs in an
internal way.
For example, someone that is lonely it's
because they have a need for connection
and love that's not being met. My
question for you is, is why do you need
to meet that need for connection to love
through other people? In fact, why can't you meet
that need with yourself? Why can't you
connect with yourself and give that love?
Whatever you're needy for, you're trying
to get through other people, why can't you give
that to yourself first? Because if you
can fill up yourself with these emotions,
these needs that you're trying to meet,
then you'll be able to give them more to
other people and you're not going to
have to put that pressure and stress of
the expectation or obligation of your
partner or your friend or someone else
in your life to try to fulfill that need
for you.
One thing that I often think about and
ask people is if you're
needy, if you're all alone and you're
trying to meet the need for love or
connection,
why not give that to yourself. In fact,
how can you give yourself love? How can
you connect more with yourself? For me,
there hasn't been many different ways. Number
one, what about just spending
time with yourself. Just like
if you're in a relationship, how do
you let someone know that you love them?
You're going to spend time with them.
How often do you spend time with
yourself and maybe do fun
things with yourself? Just like
you might take out a partner on a
date or an adventure, why not take yourself
on a date or an adventure?
Why not take yourself and treat
yourself and connect with yourself in
that way? If you can give more to
yourself, then I think what you'll find
is that you'll actually be less
dependent on other people for that
feeling of connection and love.
Besides spending time with
yourself, how else do you let someone
know that you love them is you might
tell them? You might say that to other
person, "I love you." You might
complIment them or praise them but why
not give that to yourself? Why can't you
compliment yourself just by looking in
the mirror each day, looking directly in
your eyes and giving yourself love and
saying to yourself how much you love yourself,
how proud you are of yourself and what
you admire about yourself and praise
yourself. When you can learn to give to
yourself and meet your own needs, then
you're less dependent on other people to
meet your needs for you. How else, maybe
you might let someone know that you love
them as you might give them a gift.
Why can't you give
yourself a gift?
Now, when's the last time that you
treated yourself or bought yourself
something to reward yourself in
some way?
See, for me, I believe that my rituals
that I do every day, what I do all
through the day is a way of connecting
with myself. In the morning when
I do my morning ritual, I'm connecting
with myself. I'm spending time with myself
before I spend time with anyone else
because my ritual is a place for me to
fill myself up so that I can be
filled up and rip open the
world with whatever it is that I want to
give. I approach the world in each
day from a place of being full and
giving and contributing as
opposed to be in the position of trying
to take and trying to fill myself up. My
ritual: gratitude, asking myself questions,
journaling, reading. These are all things
that I do to connect more with myself. Prayer,
meditation, these are all great ways that
you can connect with your Creator as
well. My challenge for you
would be, to overcome loneliness, is to
build a better relationship with you, is
to spend more time with you and change
your perception about how you're
spending that time and to give more to
yourself. Whatever that might mean
for you because we all have different
rules of what it takes for us to feel
connected, to feel fulfilled, to
feel in
love. Based on your beliefs about
what that's going to take for you, you've
got to make sure that you set yourself
up to win and you give to yourself in
ways that you're going to be filled up
and never feel that feeling of being
alone or disconnected. I think it's
actually very useful to spend time by
yourself. I think it's unhealthy to be
so dependent on someone else.
Sometimes people they build that
codependency in a very unhealthy way in
a relationship or whatever might it be with
your kids. I think it's important to
have that time alone even though it
it might be uncomfortable. I actually
remember years ago. I remember I
went on a travel by myself for a weekend.
I was very young at the time and I
was very scared to do that. I was
very uncomfortable. It really
strengthened me in a lot of different ways
to be more independent in my life.
While I could give you advice, like
spend more time with friends and family and
get a dog or a cat or something like
that, I think those are great things to
help you connect with people but I think
you're missing the point of connecting
more with yourself and developing that
relationship more with yourself and your
Creator. Talk to yourself. Connect
with yourself. Do whatever you got to do
to create that feeling because all
loneliness is or connection or love is
just a feeling. It's just an emotion.
You can create that feeling and emotion
at any moment that you choose.
Sometimes you have to condition it.
Sometimes you've got to create a ritual,
take time for yourself, make that
appointment first thing for yourself
because you deserve it and you're worth it
and you got to condition that every day
and that's where a morning ritual can
really come in and really change your
life. For me, that's why I love my
morning ritual. It's a time for me to
connect with myself. If you don't have
one, you need one. If you still struggle
with this, you really need to revisit
that and create a ritual that can help
support you in that way. You
can check out my Morning Ritual Mastery
course and MorningRitualMastery.com. I
have a link below. Take that
time for yourself and change that
perception and create that relationship,
cultivate it because that's the ultimate
relationship of all.
That's the most important one that you
have and you got a treasure it, you got
to nurture it every single day because
relationships do take work and you got
to make sure that you build it and it's
always growing for you.
Hopefully, this video can help you in
some way in overcoming loneliness. If
it did, hit the thumbs up button. Hit the
Like button. I appreciate any support that you
give. Subscribe for more videos like this.
Of course, check out my Morning
Ritual Mastery Course if you want to
create your own empowering ritual in
your life.
Thank you for watching this video. I'll
see you in the next one.