- Today we find out which hot dog is the top dog.
- Let's talk about that.
(upbeat electronic music)
(fire crackling)
- Good mythical morning.
- It's a new season of laughing.
- Whoo!
- It's a new year, 20 one seven, yeah!
(both laugh)
- No Link, it's 20-17.
- I just, but, it's a 20 and then a one seven.
Anyway, here we are, we're doing this
and you know how we like to start new things off,
eating a lot of hot dogs!
- Yeah we do!
Now sometime back in ages past,
somebody thought it would be a good idea.
- When was that?
- To just take the intestine of an animal
and then take some meat from that animal
and put it inside the intestine and then cook it and eat it
and somehow here in America, we thought
that was a great idea and we basically made it
our national dish.
- Mmhmm, but the question is, which one of those
that you can grab off a shelf pretty much anywhere
is the best one to grab.
Let's get to it.
It's time for Which Hot Dog is
the Tipity Tipity Tipity Tipity Top Dog?
- Okay, so this is gonna be a tournament style taste test.
We will pit two dogs against each other
in each round.
We will taste both of them, just the dog,
no buns, no sauces.
This is an unadulterated experience with the wiener.
That's all it is.
- And we're not gonna know which dog we're tasting
at which time, but we do know all of the dogs
that we're gonna be tasting over time.
So that's Hebrew National, Ball Park franks,
Applegate, Vienna Beef or is it vie-ee-nuh,
that's how I used to say it--
- Whichever one you prefer.
- Where I'm from.
Oscar Meyer--
- Or is it Oscar Mee-er?
- Oscar Meyer.
Nathan's, Kirkland, and Snake River Farms gourmet wagyu--
- Oh, expensive.
- That's an expensive one.
You know but this is great because one
of my New Year's resolutions was eating a whole
bunch of hot dogs this year (laughs).
- Yeah, more hot dogs!
- And I'm kicking it off right.
- Now I do wanna say, you know me man,
personally, I love hot dogs.
I don't eat them a lot because I know they're
not good for me, but growing up I would just
go to the cupboard, or actually to the frig,
and grab a hot dog, put it in the microwave,
and just eat it straight just like this.
This was a regular occurrence for me.
- This is a good smelling dog.
- But these weren't microwaved.
They were grilled as you can see the grill marks.
- This is--
- Tastes good man.
They're all gonna taste good to me though.
That's the problem.
- Nice tasting dog.
But the beauty is you get to go head to head
right against another dog, so you can quickly tell
one from the other, even though these look very similar.
Hmm, this one is a little redder than this one.
- This one tastes cheaper.
- Mmhmm, this one tastes much cheaper.
- Cut corners on this one.
- Mmhmm.
- You cut corners on this one, I know what you did.
- We have a clear winner for round one.
- Clear for round one.
- It's this one.
- That one.
- Okay, I've cleansed my dog palate with some cola,
and I'm ready to go in for a new head to head.
- I'm just noticing that people can make some memes
out of these images here.
Don't do that.
- Well, you saying that kind of invites it.
Okay, let's start over here with the skinnier one, okay.
- Oh, full of flavor.
That takes me straight to flavor town.
Um, but it's starting to taste weird.
It took me to flavor town, but then flavor town
was compromised real fast.
- Flavor town going down hill quick.
What kind of flavor is that?
- It's like a different animal.
- I don't want to eat any more of it.
- What did you just do?
You're not gonna learn anything doing that.
These look a lot like what I would have called
the Ball Park frank.
- Okay.
- It has the flimsiness of a Ball Park frank.
- Mmhmm.
- I've done this.
This is how I test, this is one of the things that I do
- [Link] You're outta the park.
- You just do that.
- Well I should've done that for the first round.
This is soft on the outside.
- This is a relatively cheap dog as well.
- It's pretty good tasting, though.
- It does taste good, I like it.
- Mmhmmm (laughs), makes me happy.
- Hold on.
(audience laughs)
I don't know man.
- That other one, I'm not going back.
Flavor, taste-- you just ate half the dog in one bite!
For something you didn't even like.
It's not good, man.
- Go back to it now.
Go back to it now, I dare ya.
- It's trying too hard.
They've injected some flavor that's unnatural.
- This is the much more traditional dog.
I'm a little bit split on this one,
- We gotta go--
- But if you feel that strongly, I'll go with this one.
- I feel strongly that we gotta go with that one.
- Alright.
- Now judging by the size of your wieners over there,
uh, I need to slow my roll a little bit.
I've been eating way too much of these.
- Yeah, you will. - I mean, look at that!
- Now, once they start getting the twisty little thing
at the top there that makes me think about how it was made,
I don't love that as much.
- Well, I do.
- But, I'm just gonna go on and taste.
- Come on.
- Dink it.
- Oh, we're gonna dink this one, huh?
That's a quality dog, don't make that face, man.
- (laughs) I don't like a dog this big around.
- But the taste is exquisite!
- I can't get over the presentation.
- You mean you're telling me if you can choose
a thicker dog, you don't want it?
- Yeah, uh, yep.
I like a nice efficient package of a dog
that hides itself in a bun.
And welcomes ingredients.
- Oh, oh, oh.
(audience laughing)
That's the worst hot dog I've ever had
in my entire life.
(audience laughing)
I don't know what this is.
I don't know who we're getting in trouble right now.
This is the worst tasting hot dog I have ever had.
Not a sponsor, ever.
- You think this is like Costco?
- Costco?
- Costco.
- I don't know if it's Costco, but that's not
one of our choices, man.
- Costco is where you buy Kirkland dogs.
Is this a Kirkland?
- Uh, it's a bad one.
I mean, I hope it's cheap.
- Man.
- Biggie dad.
(laughs)
- Now my wife will not eat a hot dog.
- She's never eaten a hot dog.
- And she's never eaten a hot dog.
- Which just strikes me as weird.
- Like, the first time as a child she was told
tales of hot dogs she was like,
"Uh uh, I never wanna see one.
"I never wanna taste one."
She would eat mustard sandwiches
when everyone else was eating hot dogs
- I will watch the show, the reality show--
- Bread and mustard.
- I'll watch the show of how hot dogs are made
and then immediately go eat a hot dog.
- (laughs) Yeah, you're sick man.
- I mean, it doesn't bother me, sorry.
- See, this is as big of a dog that I will welcome
into my home and by home, I mean my mouth.
- This is a classic dog.
- Very mushy.
- There's no integrity in this.
- Like moral integrity?
- No, it was not made with any conviction,
you know what I mean?
It was made in just a we gotta get these things
out the door man, they're buying 'em up like hot dogs.
- But it tastes okay.
- You gonna put yours back?
- Well, I might take another bite.
- You're gonna get mixed up.
- I don't--
- I gotta lot of wieners on my plate.
- I don't like ones that turn like that,
so I'm going for this one.
When they turn at the end--
- Yeah
I don't go for that. (chuckles)
- Oh.
- This is interesting.
- This is like a veggie dog.
- I don't think we're tasting a veggie dog.
- I know, but it tastes like a veggie dog.
- Mm, I don't know what this could be.
- Boy, I'm really confused.
- That's not a bad dog at all.
- That one tastes better.
This one has a better consistency.
- This one's better.
- I think I gotta go with the one on the left.
- The softy?
- Yeah.
- The one without integrity?
- Gotta go with the one without conviction.
There's no conviction, but you know what--
- We're bringing conviction to it.
- The flavor's pretty good.
- Again, these are--
- So, this is a repeat now.
So we've already declared these each a winner
in a previous round.
- Look at that, I think this is the integrity coming back.
- No.
- No, we haven't gotten around to that.
- I don't, hey, don't--
- Look how much longer--
- You just compromised that by touching
it to another wiener.
- Well, I'm not gonna eat this wiener,
but I'm just telling ya,
look at how much more wiener there is.
- You're gonna get so mixed up, man.
- Look, that's a--
- Don't mix me up man--
- That's a factor is all I'm saying.
There's 1/4 inch of a wiener more on that wiener.
- It's still, this one's still good.
But just the flavor.
- Mmhmm.
- The outside is the same as the rest of the dog.
It's so consistent, which I assume you like.
- I do.
- But it doesn't have any pop to it
and I'm not gonna let the people who actually
know and care about hot dogs.
I'm not gonna disappoint.
I'm not gonna let Link influence this.
- I do understand that a good hot dog is supposed
to have a pop.
- As a hot dog lover, I'm gonna, I will
make sure that happens.
- (chuckles) Oh.
Here we go.
This one's getting cold.
- Man, boy.
- It's got a good taste.
And to your point, it's got a hint of pop.
This one here is just soft.
- I think you gotta go with this one.
- With this one?
- I think you gotta go with the long dog.
'Cause it tastes pretty similar.
- This is a really good dog.
- I don't know, the flavor on that one's pretty good.
- It's better.
This is a world of flavor.
This is like a town of flavor.
Like a county.
This is a country.
- That's better, it's better.
- Country.
- Having gone back and forth a couple of times,
that is the better dog.
- Country of flavor in the soft packaging, moves on.
- This, the taste really, really brings it.
Okay, we've got the one that's too big for your mouth,
according to you and then what I guess is the Ball Park.
- It's not too big for my mouth.
It's just too big for my preference.
- Okay.
- But again, with this thing on it--
- But that's the best part.
- That's like a dunce cap.
- It's the best part!
- It's like a, it's like a sleeping cap.
- It just lets you know it was made with care
and it's not gonna accidentally spill out
all over the place.
(Link chuckles)
It's something I'm worried about every time
I'm eating a hot dog.
- (chuckles) I hope this doesn't spill out everywhere.
- I mean, just smell it a little.
- Gosh.
- Just get a good smell.
That's a, that is a high-freaking-quality dog, man.
Just the smell of it.
- Yeah, I bet this has gotta be the Snake River.
- That is a good dog and that is beef.
That's a good hot dog.
Imagine if it was surrounded with a bun
and some relish and some mustard and some onions,
little bit of chili maybe if it's a cold day.
Heh, heh, heh.
- I need toppings for a dog like this.
- You just don't wanna hang out with me,
eating wieners like this? (laughs)
- No.
- Okay, good.
- But, this right, I mean, I'm looking for a,
I'm looking for a classic to go all the way.
- [Rhett] Well--
- Not some specially designed but
not quite restaurant quality--
- Not quite restaurant quality.
What do you think they do at the restaurants, man?
This is a Ball Park--
- I've never ordered a hot dog at a restaurant.
- My mama used to get Ball Park franks
when she was splurging.
I know a Ball Park frank when I see one.
- It's got America just injected into it.
- It tastes like pudding.
(audience and Link laughing)
It tastes like hot dog pudding, like--
- Yeah.
- You take a bite out of it and just becomes pudding
in your mouth.
- I love it.
- I'm not saying it's not good,
but there's no way you can think that tastes better
than that dog.
Not in a million years, man.
- This is tough man, I--
- I gotta give you credit, Ball Park wins
when it comes to cheap hot dogs.
That should be their slogan.
If you need one, that's it.
"We win when it comes to cheap hot dogs."
But this right here.
- It's so much beefiness, it doesn't taste like a hot dog.
- I love it so much.
- But it doesn't taste like what you'd expect from like,
I'm going to get the hot dog.
- But you can't let that beat this.
This is an achievement in hot dog making.
That's what this is.
- Well, I'm not gonna argue with that.
If you feel that strongly, then I'm with you.
- Do you not think it tastes great.
- I think it tastes really good.
- Yeah!
- But I think this tastes a little better.
- Alright, well listen, I'll let you make the decision
and you know how I feel.
- I'll go with the biggie daddy.
(all laugh)
Alright Rhett, now it's time to make hot dog history,
at least as far as we're concerned.
I know it's a uphill battle with the biggie dad over here.
- The biggie dad is strong.
- But, you know, I'm gonna be leaning towards
this striped devil over here.
- Again, this is just a classic dog.
- I've never eaten so many just dogs with nothing else.
(audience member chuckles)
- Again, it just falls apart in your mouth.
That can't be a positive.
- A pudding.
Just to clarify, it doesn't, you're not saying
it tastes like pudding, you're saying
it behaves like pudding.
- It becomes a pudding.
It's almost like magic is what's keeping it together
in the form of a cylinder right now
and as soon as it goes in your mouth it just
becomes a liquid.
- To its credit--
- How is that a good thing?
- Magic is always a good thing!
- There's no way that you can say that this is,
I mean, I will admit that the taste is at last passable.
- Even if an evil person does magic, you're like,
"Oooooh, ooooh, I know he's bad, but I'm impressed."
- But I actually feel like the one that got second place
in the last round is better than this.
- Yes, it's the winner!
- It's not the winner overall though,
because we already determined that this one's better.
I mean, I wanna keep--
- Well you pressured me.
- I wanna keep tasting it.
- And I just, you know, it's like, aaaaah.
- You have a problem with this little squirrelly thing
on top, but you know, you gotta get rid of that.
- I'm gonna act like that part doesn't exist
and I'm gonna start here.
I'm gonna give it the best I can give it.
It's got a pop.
- It's got a pop.
It's got an incredible flavor.
- It's too pure of a flavor.
I like that--
- It's too pure of a flavor!
- I like that--
(audience laughing)
I like a mechanically-separated meat-part flavor.
That's what a hot dog is.
- I guarantee this is mechanically separated
or as I used to read off of the package,
me-chan-ically separated.
- So you're voting for this.
- Yeah.
- [Woman] Okay guys, why don't we have a Rhett dog
and a Link dog?
- Well it's pretty clear.
So this is Rhett's winner.
- [Woman] So Rhett, what do you think that is
that you picked?
- I mean, I like to think that it's the wagyu beef,
but I also feel like it could be
an Applegate organic dog.
- [Woman] You were correct with your first guess.
- Okay.
- [Woman] It is the most expensive, though.
- It is the most expensive dog, but my winner
from the previous round, not this one, is what, Ball Park?
- [Woman] Yep, it's Ball Park.
- You were right and I agree.
Alright, so Ball Park is, you know we're just
in different ball parks.
- It's the best cheap dog, but for people who have class
like me, you can get a wagyu beef hot dog
from Snake River Farms.
- Hmmm, or join me in the ball park.
Thank you for liking, commenting, and subscribing.
- You know what time it is.
- Hi, my name's Brittany.
This is Roxie.
We live in Keen Eye, Alaska and it's time
to spin the wheel of mythicality.
As you can see, we have an all new wheel of mythicality
for season 11.
- Yes, all new spaces designed to bring mythicality
into your life or the lives of other people.
We'll learn more in the coming days and weeks
as we land on mythical spots.
- You can add more mythicality to your life and your drinks
with the Good Mythical Mug available at
RhettandLink.com/store
- Click through to Good Mythical More.
We are gonna do some hot dog painting.
Painting using only hot dogs.
- Lonely hashtag!
This is when we find a hashtag that is very rare
on Instagram and ask you to add to it.
- The lonely hashtag is #breadbowlhat.
Oh, look at that.
That's a lonely, lonely picture of just a cat
with bread on its head.
Bread bowl hat can mean anything to you.
Hashtag it, we will find it on Instagram.
Doesn't need to be lonely any more.
- [Rhett] Click on the left to watch our show
after the show, Good Mythical More.
Click on the right to watch another episode
of Good Mythical Morning,
and click the circular channel icon to subscribe.
Thanks for being your mythical best.