- Hey dudes, I'm Hilah and it's time
for Hilah Cooking's Annual Spooky Halloween video.
This one's not gonna be so spooky.
I couldn't figure out how to puppeteer a monster
to pop-up out of my casserole dish here.
- Dinner!
(scary music) (screaming)
- But this video is a tribute to my, possibly my only hero.
I was gonna say my first hero,
but honestly, maybe my only hero.
And that is Elvira, Mistress of the Dark.
- Hello darlings, it's me again, yours truly, Elvira.
The gal with the enormous ratings. (laughs)
Well that's our show.
- As played by Cassandra Peterson.
And such an influential movie for me.
I mean, she's a badass but she's also really nice.
Well, maybe not really nice.
But she's not, like a dick.
She's just a badass, cool chick.
And she has her boobs out a lot.
She's the reason I say "dudes."
She's the reason I talk about my boobs so much
in private, to myself.
And she is the reason for this video,
which is Elvira's Adraka Kozerole.
So if you've seen the movie,
I hope you're ready to eat some worms.
We're not really gonna eat worms.
What am I a psychopath?
(upbeat music)
So, if you haven't seen the movie, the story is
Elvira inherits her aunt's house.
But her aunt, unbeknownst to her, is actually a witch.
And she has this guy over and she's trying to impress him.
But she doesn't cook because, look at her.
She doesn't need to know how to cook, people.
And she pulls out the aunt's recipe book,
which is actually a spell book.
And then she finds a bunch of gross ingredients
in the cabinet.
And I don't wanna spoil it, I'll just start.
Okay, so the first ingredient is Edrazeba.
- Edrazeba?
Wonder where she keeps Edrazeba around here.
(exciting music)
Here it is, Edrazeba.
(exciting music)
One Edrazeba.
(exciting music)
- So I was gonna use some worms from the garden
and just like, I don't wanna eat worms,
nobody wants to eat worms.
So I went to Italy instead. (laughs)
Option number two is go to Italy.
And I found the wormiest-looking pasta I could find.
It's like a fat spaghetti.
It's like real bouncy.
If I was a smarter person,
I would've gotten, like a whole-wheat.
Totally looks wormy.
Like a whole-wheat pasta that's more of a worm color.
But, never said I was a genius.
But these are really fun and bouncy, I like them.
And then the next ingredient
in the recipe book is Phalangra.
Which, I mean nobody knows what these are.
Unless, well I have a wig-hair stuck in my lipstick, sorry.
I was thinking, I wonder if these words are actually,
like Edrazeba, is that worms in another language?
I don't know, if you know the answer, tell me about it.
So Phalangra, which in the movie, roll clip.
- Phalangra.
(exciting music)
(groans) Looks like Phalangra went bad.
I know it says it's good 'til June of next year.
What the heck, I got cast-iron stomach.
- It looks like spinach dip.
So that's what I'm basing this on.
So spinach dip, as we all know, is
pus, just kidding.
Or if you don't have that, you can use monster cum.
I'm just kidding, it's sour cream.
God, no one's gonna finish this video
'cause they're all gonna just be barfing.
Sorry, it's Halloween, gets me in a gross spirit.
So I got some sour cream here.
And I'm gonna put that in.
And then I have some spinach,
'cause you gotta eat your vegetables.
♪ Gotta eat your spinach, baby ♪
And this is just frozen spinach that I thawed
and squeezed all the vitamins out of. (laughs)
No, but I squeezed all the extra liquid out of.
So I'm gonna get that kind of mixed up a little bit.
This is very strange to me to be doing a cooking video
after a year of not doing a cooking video.
(food rustling)
Listen.
(food rustling)
♪ The sound of paradise ♪
Okay, so that's the Edrazeba and the Phalangra.
And then the next ingredient is Goolitra.
Which, again, we don't know what that is.
It kinda looks like some kind of weird, green hot sauce.
- And let's see, two to three Goolitra.
Goolitra, la, la, la.
- I'm gonna use some pickled jalapenos.
'Cause I like it spicy.
Put those in.
And then I also, I feel like a little bit
of fresh jalapenos would be nice, too.
So I'm just gonna like, use a super-dull knife. (laughs)
What if I really cut my finger off, oh my God.
And chop up some jala-penis.
A little bit more, like that.
And obviously, you know, you can leave this out.
But you know I like it spicy.
And dump that in.
But honestly, this feels very strange.
I'm gonna stir that around some more.
And I like to use, well now, I don't know.
I've never actually made this before.
I'm totally making this up.
But I imagine that I will like to use pickled jalapenos
for a little bit of the tang
and then fresh jalapenos for a little bit of verdant flavor.
Is that the correct usage of that word?
Okay, I'm gonna add some salt.
'Cause, dur, doy.
Maybe a little bit more.
And then I'm gonna add some garlic powder,
'cause I really don't think
that Elvira would be chopping up any fresh garlic.
And also I don't really think you need to for this.
Seems like a good amount, seems like a goodly amount.
And then the, whoa, this wig-hair's driving me bananas.
I'm gonna add some grated Parmesan.
And then, if it seems a little dry.
And this kinda does, 'cause I did cook the pasta like,
maybe like two minutes before it was actually done.
'Cause I'm gonna stick it in the oven
and I don't want it to get all soggy.
I want it to retain its firm and bouncy worm-like texture.
So I'm gonna add a little bit of liquid in the form of pee.
So if your pee looks like this, do to a doctor.
This is actually pasta cooking liquid,
which I remembered to save.
I rarely do, I actually remembered that.
But I was paying extra attention today
as I was preparing this meal for you, my friends.
Okay, and then the last ingredient is Quoterox.
- One Quoterox.
- Nobody knows what that is.
You don't actually see her put that in
in the movie.
So I'm using some artichoke hearts.
Because they're delicious, they go great with spinach dip.
As in spinach artichoke dip, heard of it?
But also, they kinda look gross, right?
They're like not a very pretty color.
They're sort of like khaki-color.
Khaki, (groans) that's a terrible color.
And we're gonna mix this up.
And these were just frozen ones that I thawed
through the magic of lettin' them sit on the counter
for a few hours.
Okay, so this looks like,
pretty yummy, actually.
I think it's mixed up.
I don't know why I'm using this, like baby spatula.
Anyway, I'm gonna smooth this out.
I'm gonna add a little bit more of my pee-pee pasta.
(hums)
Okay, smooth it out.
And then don't worry about decorating the top
because I have a special surprise for you later
to decorate the top with.
It involves cheese, chips, and your butt.
And that's actually a fact.
So I'm gonna put this in the oven.
(pot clattering)
(sighing)
Doesn't smell too bad.
Looks like cocka-doo-doo. (laughs)
Man, that line cracked me up when I was a kid.
So it does look a little,
I mean it does kinda look like worms,
which I'm pleased with.
But then you get some spray cheese.
It's called Go Cheese now.
And you spray a little, oh God this is harder than it looks,
loop-de-loop, like on a Hostess cupcake.
Oh my God, it does look better.
And then you get some chips.
I'm using Frito's, 'cause look,
they have Spicy Jalapeno Frito's now.
I didn't know that.
And you roll the top up,
I've never actually done this before. (laughs)
And then, you squish 'em with your butt.
(laughing)
This is gonna be terrible.
(crackling)
Did it work?
It worked.
And chips didn't get everywhere.
I was just worried it was gonna explode
and chips go everywhere.
Okay, oh my God, my butt is so little though, you guys.
'Cause it barely crushed these chips.
(crinkling)
That's a compliment to myself.
Okay, so then we put some chips on top.
(crinkling)
And, okay, that seems like a good amount.
I don't know, you could probably just like,
add chips at serving time.
I'll probably put that in the recipe notes.
Like, top with more chips at serving.
Okay, there we have it.
Elvira's Adraka Kozerole.
I guess I should try it, huh?
(laughs) Biggest fork.
Okay.
Ooh, okay, looks kinda cheesy in there.
That's like a weak-ass bite, but oh well.
(gentle upbeat music)
(crunching)
Mmm.
Oh my God, aside from this weird cheese string on my face,
that is actually delicious.
Holy crap, way to go, me and Elvira.
Okay, well Happy Halloween!
Thanks for watching.
Maybe you'll make this, it's actually really delicious.
I hope that the move "Elvira" means as much to you
as it does to me.
If you happened to have Elvira's phone number,
tell her to watch it.
And also, if you are an oldie person
who's been missing me a lot,
know that I've been missing you, too.
So go check out the community tab
'cause I'm gonna be sharing some secret like,
not listed to the regular channel videos
onto the community tab.
Who knows, who knows what it's gonna be?
Here's a hint.
Not my tits.
Okay, bye.
(upbeat music)