Welcome, I’m Breakup Brad… and in this video, I’ll be answering one of the most
common questions I’m asked by my coaching clients and subscribers here on YouTube: “have
I blown my shot at getting back together with my ex?”
Maybe you recently found my channel or signed up for my Ex Factor program and you’ve realized
you’ve already made mistakes with your ex… done things you probably shouldn’t have
done that probably hurt your chances of getting them back… or maybe you don’t know, but
you’re worried that you might’ve done or said something since the breakup that caused
your ex to grow cold and lose interest…
well, in this video I’ll help you figure out whether you’ve ruined your shot for
good… and I’ll explain what to do next if there’s still hope to maximize your chances.
The Good News
Let’s start off on a positive note: You’re not alone.
TONS of people tell me on a daily basis that they wish they’d come across my videos and
my Ex Factor program sooner.
Sometimes, people are worried that something they said to their ex in the heat of the moment
was the nail in the coffin….
Other times, people will watch some of my videos or sign up for my program a few weeks
or months after their breakup, only to realize that everything they’ve done up to that
point is the exact opposite of what I recommend.
The point is that this is very very common.
The details of each situation vary a bit -- maybe you said something you regret, maybe you’ve
begged and pleaded your ex incessantly, sent them angry or cruel messages, or tried to
get revenge… whatever it was, there’s no sense in beating yourself up over the past…
we all make mistakes and that’s water under the bridge now.
In many cases -- in fact the majority of situations -- there’s still a pretty good chance you
can save things and still have a shot at getting your ex back.
Take My Quiz After The Video
One of the best ways to figure out your chances is just to take my free 5-minute quiz at BreakupBrad.com.
Go there after the video or click the link in the description and answer a few questions,
and you’ll be sent a detailed score and results report outlining your chances and
what to do next.
Again, after the video take the quiz at BreakupBrad.com.
Now, let’s talk about another important factor…
Time
The first thing you need to understand is that TIME is a big factor in this… if it’s
been a few weeks or less since your breakup, and you only made a few mistakes during that
time, then your chances are going to be a lot better than if it’s been 9 months and
you’ve made countless mistakes throughout that period of time.
Now, that’s not to say you can’t still turn things around if it’s been a long time
since your initial breakup, but it definitely makes things more difficult.
As a general rule, the longer it’s been since your breakup and the longer you’ve
been making mistakes or exhibiting unattractive behaviours, the more dire your situation.
That being said, time CAN be helpful.
For instance, if it’s been a few weeks or you’ve gone through a period of No Contact
since you last did something that pushed your ex away -- if you said something hurtful and
mean to your ex the day after breaking up and you haven’t spoken them for 2 weeks
since then -- that 2 week period will help your ex let go of their initial emotions and
start to let it go.
On the other hand, if you’ve been begging and pleading your ex for weeks every day since
breaking up, it’s going to take a while and a period of No Contact before they’re
likely going to forgive and forget.
The Big Picture
Take a second to think about things from your ex’s perspective.
How does he or she think of you right now?
Do they see you as a desperate, lonely, ‘creepy’ ex….?
Or does your ex sees you as a friend?
Or, if things really haven’t gone well since the breakup, does your ex hate your guts right
now?
That’s unlikely, obviously, but it really helps to try to imagine your ex’s perception
of you right now….
Think about how you’d feel or what you’d think of your ex if the tables were turned.
Let me give you a quick example….
Let’s say your breakup was clean and didn’t involve any huge arguments, cheating, or heartbreak.
Maybe it was even a mutual thing, where you both agreed that things weren’t working
out, and that breaking up and moving on was the right thing to do.
Then, a week later, perhaps you sent your ex a love letter spilling your guts and begging
him or her to take you back…. which, of course, is absolutely NOT a good idea.
That type of mistake, especially if the breakup itself wasn’t messy and didn’t involve
any excess drama, probably isn’t going to make your ex suddenly start seeing you as
a “creepy loser who must be avoided at all costs”....
So in a case like that, there’s still a very good chance of getting back on the right
track and reversing your breakup.
On the other hand, if you’ve cheated on your ex their best friend… if you’ve spread
lies about your ex through Facebook and sworn never to speak to him or her again… things
are looking less rosy for your chances of getting them back.
Don’t get me wrong, I absolutely see people overcome situations even that bad from time
to time, but if you did something truly awful to your ex or you’ve pestered them to the
point where they’re calling the police on you… odds are slim, and you probably need
to come to terms with that and think about moving on.
Especially if you take my free quiz and get a very low score.
Now…
most of you watching this video probably fall somewhere in between.
Maybe you’ve made more mistakes than the first scenario I just described, but you haven’t
been a complete asshole or shattered your ex’s heart into a million pieces.
In that type of situation, obviously the specific details of your breakup and the mistakes you’ve
made will determine your chances of success, but generally speaking it’s safe to say
that you probably have a chance of getting back together….
IF you stop making mistakes and you start using the techniques and strategies that I
teach in my Ex Factor program.
If you really want a second chance with your ex… if you KNOW they’re the one for you
and you desperately regret losing them… you absolutely can’t afford any more mistakes
from this point on.
Begging, Pleading & The Clean Slate Message
One of the most common mistakes people make after a breakup is to beg and plead with their
ex… you know, asking for another chance, promising you’ll change if your ex will
give the relationship another shot, apologizing over and over again… that kind of thing.
Those are obviously NOT the kind of things that will help your cause -- in fact, begging
and pleading with your ex is a surefire way to make things worse rather than better, as
I’m sure you know by now -- but they’re usually something you can overcome if you
play your cards correctly from this point forward.
Sometimes, you may have killed your ex’s attraction to the point where they’ve genuinely
gotten over you… but in many cases you can turn things around, especially if you only
begged and pleaded for a brief period and didn’t continue to pester your ex repeatedly
for weeks.
I’ve developed something that I call the “Clean Slate Email Template” to specifically
address this common mistake….
It’s essentially a message that you can send to your ex to erase the negative image
of you that your ex has in the back of their mind, and start to replace that mental image
with something more positive.
Does it always work like that and instantly fix your problems?
Absolutely not, but it is better than any alternative, at least based on my 13 years
as a breakup coach.
If you want to see the full Clean Slate message template, watch the video on my website, BreakupBrad.com,
and sign up for a 60-day risk free trial of my Ex Factor program.
In the program, I explain exactly WHEN and HOW to use the Clean Slate message and how
to word it and send it correctly to ensure it works as intended.
Basically, the message usually involves sending your ex a text or email that acknowledges
past mistakes while subtly showing your ex why that wasn’t the real “you” who was
begging and pleading… again, go to BreakupBrad.com to sign up for The Ex Factor program and learn
more about safely using a Clean Slate Message.
BUT… and this is a hugely important reason I am not going to go into more detail about
the Clean Slate message here…
MOST PEOPLE will NOT need or want to send their ex the Clean Slate message.
It is intended for really bad situations and won’t work at all for a lot of people, even
if you did do a bit of begging and pleading in the early days after breaking up.
Your Mindset Moving Forward
Now that you hopefully have a bit better sense of whether you’ve completed ruined your
chances or not…
there’s one thing you need to do from this point onwards regardless of how bad you think
your situation is right now.
You need to avoiding doing anything else that make matters worse, obviously… but you also
need to stop beating yourself up over the past and not replay all your mistakes over
and over again in your head.
It’s pointless.
No matter how badly you fucked up with your ex, you can’t go back in time and chance
things…
you can only try to shift how your ex feels about you from now on.
Focus on the road ahead and how you can turn things around rather than fixating on something
dumb you did last week or last month.
Now is the time to take my free quiz and calculate your chances by going to BreakupBrad.com/Quiz…
I mentioned it earlier already, but along with watching this video, taking the quiz
should help you get a clear idea where you stand with your ex and whether you’ve still
got a shot at winning them back.
Thanks for watching, please consider subscribing to my channel if you found this video helpful…
and as always, I’ll talk to you guys in the comments below.
Best of luck and see you in the next video!